Chords for A Musical

What the hell are musicals?
It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops and the plot is conveyed through song.
Through song?
Yes.
Wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then out of nowhere he just starts singing?
Yes.
Well, that is the stupidest [Cm] thing that I have ever [Bb] heard.
_ You're [C] doing a play, got [Bb] something to say, so [F] you sing it?
[F] It's absurd!
Who on [Bb] earth is going to sit there [D] while an actor breaks [Gm] into song? _ _ _
[Eb] What possible thought [Bb] could the audience think [Cm] other than,
this is horribly [F] _ _ wrong?
_ _ _ _ Remarkably, [Bb] they won't think that.
Seriously?
Why not?
Because _ _ it's a _ musical. A [Dm] musical.
_ [E] And nothing's as amazing as a musical.
[F] _ [Bb] With song and dance, [Dm] and sweet romance, [C] and happy endings happening [F] by _ happenstance.
[Eb] Bright lights, [D] [Gm] stage fights, and a [G] dazzling chorus.
You want to be great, [C] you gotta create [F] a musical.
[Bb] I don't know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see something like this.
Let's just say it's a Saturday night and you want to go out on the town.
[Cm] Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don't let her [F] down.
You could [Bb] go see a tragedy, [Cm] but that wouldn't [F] be very fun.
[Bb] Or a play from [G] Greek mythology.
[Cm] See a mother have [Ab] sex with her son.
Eww.
You could go [Cm] see a drama, with all of that [G] drama and pain.
_ _ _ Or go [Eb] see something more [B] relaxing and less [D] taxing on the [F] _ brain. _
_ _ _ [Bb] Go see _ a _ musical.
[G] A musical.
[Gm] A puffy piece releasing [F] all your bluesicles.
_ Where [Bb] crooners croon.
[G] A catchy tune.
[Cm] And limber-leggy ladies [Dm] thrill you till you [Eb] swoon.
Ooze [D]-ahs, big-ah [Gm]-fahs, and a [G] standing [D] ovation.
The future is bright if you could [F] just write a [Bb] musical.
_ [Eb] Some make you [F] happy, some make you sad.
Some [Cm] are quite big, [Dm] some quite small.
_ [Db] Some are too long, [Em] some are just plays for song.
[G] Some musicals have no talking at _ all.
No talking at all?
_ _ That's right, there's no talking.
All of the dialogue is sung in a very _ dramatic _ fashion. _
Um, really?
Yes, really.
There's no talking?
There's no talking. _ _ _
And they often stay on one note for a very long time.
So that when they change to a different note, you [E] notice.
_ _ _ _ [Dm] And it's supposed to create a [Dm] dramatic effect.
But mostly you just [Bb] sit there asking yourself, _
_ Why aren't they [A] _ talking? _
_ _ Sounds miserable.
I believe it's pronounced _ _ _ _ _ miserable.
_ _ And people actually like this?
No, they love it.
And what's not to love?
[D] It's such a delight, there's nothing quite like a [C] musical.
_ [Dm] Oh, [C] another vision?
[Dm] I haven't [C] even told you the [Dm] best part yet.
[Em] Feel [Am] that fascinating [Dm] rhythm move [B] into your feet.
Oh, oh.
What is that?
[D] Feel your ass gyrating to that [B] titillating beat.
_ [E] _ [F] Oh, are you okay?
You slap [B] your lap, [C] then [Am] finger snap.
[Dm] That's [Em] when you know it's [Dm] time to tap.
[Db] Oh, _ _ what the hell are you [G] doing now?
It's called a dance break.
[Fm] Apparently this happens in musicals as well.
[Db] People on stage just burst into spontaneous [Fm] dance.
[F] Why?
Does it [Ab] advance the plot?
No.
Advance character? Not necessarily.
[Gb] Then why [F] do it?
[Bbm] Because it's [Bb] entertaining!
_ [Eb] Five, six, seven, [E] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ [G] _ _ [C] _ _
[Cm] _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ [Eb] _ _
[Ebm] _ _ [Dm] _ _ [Ebm] _ _ [Bb] _ _
[C] _ _ [Bb] _ _ [C] _ _ _ _
[D] _ _ _ [C] _ _ _ [Ebm] _ _
_ _ [Bb] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ [D] eight!
Another vision?
It's a musical.
What are you talking about?
It's a musical.
A [C] soozical?
No, a musical with girls on stage.
A musical.
[G] We've got the scapiripate, and the women are risque,
And the chorus boys are kind of gay.
A musical.
[E] A true _ blue news. _ _
[A] Musical.
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ It's a musical. _
[G] _ _ _ _ [Am] Some musicals [Dm] are very [F] serious.
_ [Am] _ _ [Db] A big [Gb] glittering musical.
[B] A [Abm] musical.
_ _ [Ab] _ _ _ [Em] _
It's a [C] musical _ for us. _
[Db] _ _ [C] _ _ _ [A] A big and [Ab] shiny, mighty, [Dbm] finey, glitter, [Gb] glitz, and chorus [E] liney.
Bob your head [A] and shake your [Ab] hiney.
[Dbm] Musical.
[E] It's a musical.
It's a [Dbm] musical.
It's [G] a musical.
It's a musical.
_ _ [C] Yes!
I get [F] it now!
_ We'll do a _ _ [Gm] musical. _
No kidding!
[G] A _ musical. _
[E] What could be more amazing than [Dm] a _ [Cm] musical?
_ _ With [Bb] song and dance,
[G] and sweet _ romance,
and [C] with a musical we might [F] have half a chance.
[Eb] Who's [C] us?
Big [Bb] applause with everyone [G] cheering for us. _ _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ And for [Bb] some _ unexplainable [G] _ [G] reason,
[Cm] the crowd goes wild [C] every _ time.
[Dm] When dancers [Gb] kick in [G] unison,
in [Gm] one big [Db] wonderful [Cm] line.
_ _ [Gb] _
And then you got yourself [B] a musical. _
_ _ _ _ _ [Ab] A musical.
_ _ _ _ _ [E] La la la la la la la la.
A [Ab] musical.
[A] _
[B] With slashy style,
[Ab] and a big big smile.
A snazzy band, some [F] jazzy hands, I swear that [Gb] I'll
[E] rock my [Em] heart, hold you tight, [B] if it [Ab] isn't a doozy.
[Db] Take it from me.
[Fm] _ _
They'll [Em] be blocking to see, _ _
_ [Dbm] your starlet [Ebm] won't quit.
[E] Big hit [Ab] _ [B] musical. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [E] A big hit [Abm] musical. _
[B] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _