Chords for Allan Sherman - J C Cohen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Listen all you children _ to [Eb] my sad refrain
[Bb] _
_ _ _ _ _ About a subway conductor on a runaway train _ _ _
_ _ Squeezing people into cars, [Eb]
he won his fame
_ _ _ _ [F] _
And John Charles Cohen was the great man's name
[Bb] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Eb] _ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _
JC [Gm] Cohn, what a great conductor, I.R.T.
[E] That's his [Dm] subway line, [Bb]
and if you gotta travel uptown
He's a greater conductor than Leonard Bernstein _
_ _ _ _ _ It was [Db] on a Sunday in the summer and from everywhere
People planned to take a [Eb] subway to the [F] World's Fair
[Bb] A half a million people tried to push and jar _
[Gm] All of them [Bb] determined to get in one car _
_ _ _ _ _ But the I.R.T. depended on their finest men
JC Cohn could pack [C] a subway like a sardine [D] can
He pushed the [Bb] people up and back and round about
He squeezed so many in, he squeezed the engineer [Bb] out
JC Cohn, _ what a great conductor
[D] How he'd [Eb] moan, step to [F] the rear
[Bb]
JC Cohn, he really had a problem
On a subway train without an engineer _ _
_ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ [Bb]
JC tried to get into the [Fm] engineer's place
But [Gm] when he looked inside the cab he saw a [F] strange man's face
[Bb] A half pint drunk with a full pint bottle
[Ab] He emptied [Eb] out the bottle [Bb] and he yelled, full throttle _
[Eb] They [Bb] _ _ _ _ _
passed Columbus Circle doing 82
A couple minutes later [Eb] they were under [C] Bronx Zoo
[D] JC _ [Bb] shuddered and he said, I guess
This used to be a local but it's now an express _
JC Cohn, what a great [Fm] conductor
[Bb] Kept his head [Eb] when [F] everyone was tense
[Bb] He said, when we pass the city [Gm] limits
Everybody pays another 15 [Bb] cents _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [B] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
JC said, we're heading north my friends
But not a man [E] alive knows where [G] the subway [Gb] ends
[Abm] The train went under Albany at 90 flat
[B] And [E] Governor Rockefeller [B] hollered, what was that?
[Abm] _ _
_ [B] _ _ _ _ _ A lady said to JC Cohn with indignation
If this is Albany then you have passed my [Gb] station
[B] So either you should take me back to 59th Street
Or ask one of these gentlemen to give me his seat
JC Cohn, what a great conductor
JC Cohn [Db] noticed [Gb] something odd
[B]
When he saw lobsters on the roadbed
He said, I [Gb] got a feeling we're beneath Cape Cod
[B] _
_ [A] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Oh well, the train kept speeding to the north my friends _
Finally came [D] to where the tunnel ends
[C] When they came up to the surface from the long, long hole
They were [F] 27 [G] inches from the great north hole
_ _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ _
JC hollered everybody out
This [D] is the end of the [F] line beyond a shadow [G] of a doubt
They went [C] out to get some fresh air and before they took a whiff
Cohn and all the [Dm] passengers were frozen [C] stiff
_ JC Cohn, what a great [Gm] conductor
[Am] Bless his soul, [F] he [G] ran out of luck
[C] JC Cohn, he was really frozen
And [Am] he had to be brought home [G] in a good humor truck
When _ _ _ [Cm] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ they told Mrs.
Cohn
_ _ [Fm]
That she'd lost [Bb] her man _ _ _
[Cm] Cohn
_ She said, must you interrupt me
[Fm] When I'm playing pan
[G] _
_ _ _ [Cm] _ _ Then she said to her partner
_ [F] Mrs.
R.J. Rosen
_ _ _ _ Cohn was a lovely husband but he's no good frozen _
[Cm] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Then she went to her little boy
And took his hand
_ _ And she said, I'm gonna take you out to [C] Disneyland
[G] _
_ _ _ [Cm] _ So Melvin little darling
_ [D] Don't you weep or [Cm] _
wail
_ _ [N] Cause you got another papa on the monorail
[A] _ _ Got another papa on [Dm] the monorail
_ [G] No _ _
[C] _ _ _ Rail _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ [C] _ _ _ _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _