Chords for Bob Schneider - "Batman"

[C] _ [G] _ You want to play one of the silly ones?
We'd love to hear it.
Sure, yeah.
[C] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Em] Well, my name's Batman, [B] but you can call me Bob.
And when [G] I see the boy wonder, I just [C] say,
[G] Yo, [C] Rob, I used to wear a cape [Dm] and do the leotard bit.
[G] Now I'm wearing a hoogie and the jeans, [C] cause I [N] don't give a_
I guess I can't sing.
_ I don't give [C] a nice to the Lord. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ I used to bust my butt [F] all day fighting [G] crime.
Now I'm rocking the Bob Tom [C] show and I sing my rhymes.
And I can turn any crowd into [F] a crazy old mom.
[Am] Cause [G] I'm Batman, _ but you can call [C] me Bob. _ _
_ _ _ Well, I'll tell you all a story [F] that once happened to me.
[G] _ Well, me and little Robin, [C] we were just cruising down the street
bearing the Batmobile.
_ [G]
[F] We had the lights turned low.
[G] We had a six-pack of bat beer on [C] ice, so we were good to go.
With the radio [F] blasting out our old theme [G] song.
_ Robin kept on [Em] passing me that big old bat bong.
I took a couple of [C] hits and [F] the next thing I know,
[G] there was a cop pulling us over to [C] the side of the road.
He said, uh, hey, what's your [F] name, boy?
You look like a [G] slob.
I said, I'm Batman, officer, but you can [C] call me Bob. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ Well, I turned to little Robin and I said, [F] hey, buddy,
it's getting kind of late.
I [G] gotta find a date before [C] I start to hallucinate.
So we found this little place.
[G] _ [F] We went [G] inside and they carted Robin at the door.
They asked about his age.
He just [C] lied. _
He was like 13, I think.
I'm not really sure how old he is. _
Well, I went up to the bar and ordered [Dm] myself a little [G] Coke and Jack,
and that's when I felt a strong hand [C] on the back of my back.
I turned around and I dropped my drink.
[Dm] There was this girl there in a mink,
and she [G] was about _ the most beautiful [Em] girl I've ever seen, I think.
I introduced her to Robin.
I said, hey, this little [Dm] guy's name is Rob.
_ [G] _
Well, I'm the Batman, baby.
[C] You can call me Bob. _
_ _ _ _ Well, I promised to behave, and we [F] went back to the Batcave,
[G] and she took one look at my place.
[Em] Well, she started to rave, and then she gave me a nice [C] kiss.
[F] She said, I'll be [G] right back.
I'm just going to slip out of some of these clothes for a [C] minute so we can relax.
So she left the room for a minute, [G] and [F] while I threw in some [G] tunes,
I opened up my new multimillion-dollar [Em] skylight so we could look at the moon.
But when she came back in, well, she [F] had this big old whip in [G] her hand.
Turns out she was a crazy, [C] psychotic catwoman.
She started chasing me around my [G] house,
and she [F] was screaming that she wanted me [G] dead.
I had to whip out my Batarang and [C] [Em] hit her right in the head.
She went out like a light.
I said, [B]
oh, man, what a night.
I had to [Gm] drag her down to the police department,
and they locked her [C] up tight.
_ As I was [Em] leaving, the sergeant looked at me, and he said, [F] hey, son, you've done a fine job.
[G] I said, I know.
I'm Batman.
You [C] can call me Bob.
_ _ _ [G] [C] Yes!
_ _ _ _ [F] _ [G] Fantastic.
Wow, that was fantastic.
That was great.
Bob Schneider is our guest.
_ [F] _ [F#] [G] All the time. _