Chords for Cheech & Chong (Car Scene Skit) Hard Rock Casino, Van. BC. 3/24/2018

Cabron, cabron, cabron.
_ Puta, puta, puta, _ _ _ puta.
Puta machin. _ _
Hey man.
Hey, what?
Huh?
Hey, hey.
Hey, can you give me a ride, man?
Yeah, sure, man.
My fucking Uber hasn't showed up yet.
Yeah, yeah. _
No, no, no, that's me, man.
Except I'm not Uber.
We're a new service called Doober.
Doober.
_ Service, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ man.
You get a ride and a doobie, man.
I need both, man.
_ What you got?
Holy shit.
Whoa.
Fuck.
_ Who did all this shit to your car, [Em] man?
Oh, [Eb] no, that's me.
I customized it myself, [N] man.
See it?
I got my last five yards of light green shag carpet they had, man.
Yeah, man.
On the roof, on the floor,
backboard, back trees.
[G] _ It's like [B] being inside a giant pussy.
Yeah, [Cm] I've never thought of it like that.
It even smells like a pussy.
What?
[Db] Oh, no, that's me.
I work in front of Red [F] Lobster, man.
_ _ [N] I can't believe that, man.
_ _ _ [B] Well, anyways, man,
hey, [C] welcome [B] to [Em] Doober.
_ _ [G] What's this?
It's [N] a noob, man.
No, it looks like a toothpick, man.
[G] No, it's just rolled real tight.
It's an [C] introductory offer, man.
[Gb] No, it's a [Eb] toothpick, dude.
No, man, this [N] isn't true.
It's a toothpick.
_ It's in the other pocket, man.
I'm sorry, man.
[C] We were partying last night.
I'm [N] kidding.
_ That's my dad. _ _ _ _ _
All right, light it up.
Well, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man. _
_ _ _ I feel like
sending this little guy to camp. _
_ _ I feel like you're gonna carry [G] around_
Oh, [C] damn, man.
[Gb] That's like a
noob on [Cm] steroids, man.
[Em] Damn.
_ [Eb] _ [B] Let's get this [N] party rolling.
_ _ _ You _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
wanna look at the road
for a minute? _ _ _
We're on the sidewalk, man.
[C] Oh, good, you stopped.
That's good.
Good.
Put on your flashlights, man.
There you go.
[E]
Damn, man, what was in this shit, man?
What was in this shit, man?
[C] _ [N] _ _
Everybody ask that question, man.
Man, that's really greasy, man.
Yeah, that's a K-Y Joey. _
I got a buddy in jail, man.
_ _ [C] Smuggled some dope in for me, you [Eb] know?
We got to [N] talking, and I forgot I had it.
_ _ So I smuggled it back out. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Man, this is getting numb, man.
Yeah, that's the preparation today. _
[Ab] Thumbs _ _ _ [N] above, man.
[E] I can't breathe, man.
[Cm] Really?
I think I'm gonna [G] pass [B] out, man.
[E] Goddamn, man.
What the [Ab] fuck was in this shit, man?
[F] Just [Ab] take a couple of [N] these.
Oh, fuck, don't take those.
_ _ [B] _ I [G] do this all the time.
I almost gave you all my acid.
_ _ Man.
Here, I'm [N] going a little
downer for you, man.
I only took them, man. _ _
[G] You said to take them,
so I took them, man.
What's gonna happen?
You ate [N] all my acid, man?
I never had no acid before.
What? _ _
_ _ This is gonna be really interesting. _ _
Maybe.
_ _ Maybe.
No, I'm [Em] serious.
[Cm] No one's ever done this much acid.
[Ab] Really?
[C] Not even Timothy Neary, [Gm] he's fucking dead.
What?
_ Goddamn, man.
[Eb] You just [C] gotta make it spiritual, man.
That way you got everything covered.
You [Db] got to [F] hold, man.
Come on.
[B] _ _ Come _ on.
Hold. _ _ _ _ _
Hold.
[Db] _ _ _ [B] _ Hold.
Hold. _ _ _ _ _
Hold.
_ _ _ _ _ _ [Bb] _
[B] _ _ _ _ [N] Hold. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Yeah.
Nice, isn't it?
Yeah.
_ Oh, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ I like acid, man.
I didn't know
it was gonna be [Bb] like this.
All the fucking [Cm] cops just pulled [Eb] up.
Yeah, what?
The cops? What?
_ [N] Hey, where my acid? _
_ [G] Hey, I [C] love you, man.
Wow, I don't [N] like you.
Hold.
_ _ _ Hey, keep on knocking, but you can't come in.
_ _ _ Rolling [Eb] down the river.
_ [G] _ Hold on. _ _ _
[N] _ What?
_ Where's my license?
It's on the bumper, man.
Back there.
_ _ _ Oh, my_
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
My driver's license.
_ I got a_
I'm sorry.
I thought it was something funny.
Yo mama.
_ _ _ What?
What's my name? _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Is your old name a license, man?
_ Yeah, that's my_
What's his name?
Oh, all right.
I didn't give my son no name.
His _ name is Ralph, man.