Chords for Dear Abby (2020 Remaster)

About _ three months ago I was in _ _ Rome, _ _ Italy. _ _
I _ don't know what I was doing there.
I was just there.
_ _ I got this sandwich one day and they gave me a newspaper with it.
It was the only newspaper they had there that was in English.
They had all the news from all around the world just trammed into four pages. _ _ _ _
They didn't even have any funnies in there.
Every time you turned a page something just jumped right out at you.
_ _ _ _ I found an old friend in there and I wrote her a song. _ _ _
_ It's for Dear Abby.
[E] _ _
[B] _ _ _ _ _ Dear Abby, dear Abby, my feet are [B] too long.
My hair is falling out [C#] and my rights are [F#] all wrong.
_ [B] My friends, they all tell [E] me they have no [B] friends at all.
Won't you write me a letter, [F#] won't you give [B] me a call?
[E] _ _ [C#m] _
Signed, B.
Wilder. _ _ _ _
B.
Wilder, B.
[E] Wilder, you have [B] no complaint.
You are what you are [C#] and you ain't what you [F#] ain't. _
[B] So listen up, [E] buster, and listen [B] up good.
Stop wishing for [F#] bad luck and knocking [B] on wood.
[E] _ _
[F#] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ _ _
Dear Abby, dear Abby, [E] my fountain [B] pen leaks.
My wife hollers at [C#] me and my kids [F#] are all freaks. _
[B] Every side I get up [E] on is the wrong [B] side of bed.
If it weren't so expensive, [F#] I'd wish I [B] were dead.
[E] _
_ Signed, [B] Unhappy. _ _ _ _
_ Unhappy, unhappy, [E] you have no [B]
complaint.
You are what you [C#] are and you ain't [F#] what you _ [B] ain't.
So listen up, buster, [E] and listen [B] up good.
Stop wishing for bad [F#] luck and knocking [B] on wood.
_ [F#] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ _
_ Dear Abby, dear Abby, _ dear Abby, dear Abby, dear Abby.
_ Dear Abby, dear [E] Abby, you [B] won't believe this.
But my stomach makes noises whenever [C#] I kiss.
[F#] _ My girlfriend tells [E] me it's all [B] in my head.
But my stomach tells [F#] me to write [B] you instead.
[E] _ _ [F#] _
_ Signed, [B] Noisemaker. _ _ _ _
_ Noisemaker, noisemaker, [E] you have no [B] complaint.
You are what you are [C#] and you ain't what [F#] you ain't.
[B] So listen up, buster, [E] and listen [B] up good.
Stop wishing for bad [F#] luck and knocking [B] on wood.
_ [F#] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ _
_ Dear Abby, dear Abby, [E] well I never [B] thought
that me and my girlfriend [C#] would ever get caught.
[F#] _ [B] We were sitting in the backseat [E] just shooting the [B] breeze
with her hair up in curlers [C#] and her pants to [B] her knees.
_ [F#] _ _ Signed, [B] Just Married.
_ _ _ _ Just Married, Just Married, you have no complaint.
You are what you are and [C#] you ain't what you ain't.
[B] So listen up, buster, and listen up good.
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
[E] _ _ [F#] _ [B] Signed, Dear Abby. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _