Chords for DOCTOR! DOCTOR! | Two Point Hospital Song feat. Rustage

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One doctor to the microphone, [A] [E] please.
That's one doctor to the mic.
Thank you.
[A] _ _ [E] Welcome to Two Point.
The place to be from a painless little ailment all the [A] way to A [E]&E.
You count this death count was quite shameful to see,
so now you'll have to [Gbm] pay to get away from that disease.
Private [E] healthcare!
It's the way it's meant to be.
Where's the welfare?
When you're getting it for [Gb] free, but it's welfare.
Just beware of the [E] receipt.
Two Point's the [D] only joint for medical [E] relief.
Check in!
We'll get you diagnosed, though the wait's a little long.
I hope you [A] brought a change of [E] clothes.
A patient must be patient.
Make the waiting room your home.
Just do your best [A] not to pay attention to the ghosts.
[Dbm] Two Point Hospital's the [E] only place to [Bb] be.
[A] Though we're required to [E] say there's other options legally.
_ We've prepared for you the [B] very best of care,
with medical professionals and [A] specialists to [E] spare.
We found them on the internet, but really don't be scared, though.
One or two [A] adulterates and crayons would be fair.
Screw the anaesthetics, truly it's pathetic.
With saucepan wearings, but [Bb] no [B] pandemic.
Doctor, I'm feeling a bit light [N]-headed.
On a regular fixture, rip it out, slot a head [E] in.
Uh, when I [Em] step into the scene,
moving and grooving [A] my body's ways you've never [E] seen.
[D] Cha-cha, slide up [Em] into the GP.
You [A] say I need treatment, what the hell do you mean?
I spent a few days browsing paintings at the Tate
to [E] awake the next day as an [Bb] arrangement of [B] shapes.
Essential oils may have been the start.
Remember, medicine is not a [E] science, it's an art.
I have just had a call from our legal team.
It is in fact a science, [B] apologies.
Right, [E] that'll be 200.
200?
What?
200 what?
[A] Now you're at least 350.
Private [E] healthcare!
The way it's meant to be, comfy desk chairs and a few fatalities.
[Gb] But we learn a little something out of every tragedy,
[E] so your death won't be for nothing.
That's a guarantee.
Nevada, what you coming down with?
I know that we can handle it.
A distal twirly clown's climbing [A] out a tiny [E] ambulance.
A lycothrope, a mummy and a mammoth case of flatulence.
A dirty Freddie [A] Mercury does wonders for the ambience.
Two Point Hospital, try [E] our [Bb] lobotomies.
[A] And if you are [E] unsatisfied, get your next [D] one for [E] free.
I'm feeling blue and can't express it to you.
With the doctors at this [A] hospital, I'm 50 shades [E] of screwed.
I'm not doing so great, it's Grey's Anatomy.
I'm mad at these [A] doctors using colourful vocabulary.
Kung fu?
Seizure?
[E] Rapping?
Yes, rapping.
[Bb] Rapping, [A] rapping.
[Bm] I can make me never ever [E] lose.
And now I'm not just brightly in order resolution. _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ [E] I'm not a criminal, a jail, I'm afraid of that.
But with my [A] condition, I've stolen all of my neighbours' cats.
Before we operate, there's forms you'd have to fill.
To [E] say we're not responsible if [Bb] we mess up a [A] drill.
Our [B] honest interrogative is not to get you killed.
Just the patients who don't [E] make it have no way to pay the bill.
Treated men, sickly bees, bloaty heads, the keefy beans.
And if they're dead, it simply means an [Dbm] open bed or [E] quarantine.
The policy is quality, with all the best technology.
We're top with [A] radiology, biology, orthology, bionic ornithology.
In chronic [B] escapology, demonic Egyptology.
I [Bb] give topics beyond [A] belief.
An inspection?
[Bm] No problem at all.
Can't fake perfection, but [E] we're phenomenal. _
I think I'm addicted to petting zoos.
[A] Oh?
[E] What are your symptoms?
Well, I've been cleaning a little horse for [A] weeks.
Private healthcare, the way it's meant to be.
There's a [E] method to the madness aimed at [Bb] every malady.
[A] We're the best you can afford and the [E] Yelp scores agree.
We've got the best shade of grey morality.
Medical practices, this is what you call it.
I wouldn't have got the [A] same experience if I burnt my [E] wallet.
I'm rating this place one out of five.
But I've got no [A] choice if I want to stay alive.
Two-point hospitals, [E] impossible to [Bb] beat.
[A] The costs are [E] astronomical, can't fathom [Dm] your [E] deceit.
Oh, doctor, I keep forgetting what an airport building is [A] called.
[E] _ I'm so sorry.
_ It's terminal.
Private healthcare, it's the way it's meant to be.
Don't go elsewhere, or we'll [Bb] lose our subsidies.
[A] Ignore the screens.
Have a [E] seat, a cup of tea.
At two-point you should make a full recovery.
Ignore our poor mortality rates.
I'm sure we can charge [A] mortality the [E] rates.
Yes, we can get a little bit carried away.
But ignoring all the [Gbm] flaws, tell me, how would you stay?
Choose two-point hospital for [E] comical [Bb] disease.
[A] We honestly can [B] promise that we'll probably [D] [E] succeed. _ _ _
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[E] _ _ Thank you for coming in to see me today.
I do hope [Ab] the music and the knobby wasn't too [G] tiresome.
I'm going to prescribe [D] you with a daily dose of stupendium.
So do please hit the [Bb] prescribe button below.
And don't forget to fill out a customer feedback [N] form.
Like, comment, and then ring the bell at the front desk when you're done.
I'd like to thank Dr.
Rathke for his help with his diagnosis.
Do please pop in and see him in his office when we're done here.
And don't forget [D] to buy a lovely stupendium t-shirt or mug in the gift shop [E] on the way out.
Do have a lovely day, and that will be £4,000.