Chords for Fruitcakes

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [Em] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [Dm] _ _ You _ [G] _
_ _ _ _ know, I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day.
She runs a space station and bake shop down near Boomtown.
She told me that human beings are flawed individuals.
_ _ The cosmic _ bakers took us out of the oven a little too early.
And that's the reason we're as crazy as we are.
And I believe it.
Take for example, when you go to the movies these days, _ you know, they try to sell you
this jumbo drink, eight extra ounces [Dm] of watered [G] down cherry coke for an extra 25 cents.
I don't want it.
I don't want that much organization in my life.
I don't want other people thinking for me.
I want my Junior Mints.
Where did Junior Mints go in the movie?
I don't want a 12 pound Nestle scrunch for _ $25. _
I _ _ want Junior Mints.
We need more fruitcakes in this world.
_ _ Less bakers.
We need people that care. _ _
That [C] is hell.
[D] I [G] don't want to take it [C] anymore.
[D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ [D] Fruitcakes [G] in the _ _ [C] kitchen.
Fruitcakes [G] on the street.
_ [C] Strutting naked.
[D] _ [G] Fruit crusts all [C] in the [G] middle of the week.
Half [C] baked cookies [G] in the oven.
Half [C] baked people [G] on the bus. _
_ _ [C] There's no [G] bitter fruitcake left [C] in [G] every one of us.
_ _ [C] _ [D] Paradise.
_ [G] Lot found.
[C] _ Paradise.
[G] Take a look around.
[C] I was out [D] in _ [G] California where I [D] hear they have it [G] all.
They [C] got [D] rice, [G] fries, and mudslides.
They [C] got [D] sushi [G] in the mall.
_ _ [C] Water [D] _ [G] bars, _ brontosaurs, [C] _ [D] Chinese modern [G] lust.
_ _ [C] _ Chicken [G] bake life with the quick.
[C] The secrets [D] in [G] the crud.
_ _ [C] _ [D] Fruitcakes [G] in the kitchen.
_ _ [C] _ [D] Fruitcakes on [G] the street.
_ [C] Strutting naked.
[D] Fruit [G] crusts all in [C] the [D] middle of [G] the week.
[C] Half baked [D] cookies in [G] the oven.
Half [C] baked [D] people on [G] the bus.
_ [C] There's no [D] _ [G] bitter fruitcake left in every one of us.
_ [C] [D] Speaking of [G] fruitcakes, how about the government?
[C] Your tax [D] dollars at [G] work. _
_ [C] We [D] lost our [G] Martian rocket ship.
[C] The high [D] paid spokesman [G] said.
_ Looks like [D] that silly rocket [G] ship [C] has lost [D] its foam [G] shaped head.
_ [C] We spent [D] 90 [G] trillion dollars.
Time to get a look [G] at Mars.
I [C] hear _ [D] universal [G] laughter ringing [C] [D] out among [G] the stars.
_ [C] _ Fruitcakes [G] in the galaxy.
_ [C] _ [D] Fruitcakes on [G] the earth.
_ [C] Strutting naked [D] _ [G] towards eternity.
[C] We've been [D] that way since birth.
Half [C] baked [D] cookies in [G] the oven.
Half [C] baked [D] people [G] on the bus.
There's no _ [C] _ _ [D] bitter [G] _
fruitcake left [C] in every [E] one [G] of us.
_ _ [C] Religion.
[D] _ _ [G] _
Religion.
_ [C] _ [D] Oh, there's a [G] thin line between Saturday [C] night and Sunday [D] morning.
_ [G] Here we go now.
[C] _ _ [D] _ [G] Alright, all cause.
Mea [B] culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] Where's the church?
[G] Who took the steeple?
[C] _ Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people.
_ Television preachers [Bm] with bad hair and dimples.
[C] The goddarnest truth [G] is it's not that simple.
[C] It's the Buddhist in [D] you.
It's the [G] pagan in me.
[C] It's the Muslim [E] in him.
She's [G] Catholic ain't she.
[C] It's that born again [D] look.
It's the [G] wasp in the Jew.
[C] Tell me what's [G] going on.
I ain't got a clue.
[C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ [C] Now here [Bm] comes the big one.
[G] _ _
_ [C] Relationships.
[D] We all [G] got them.
We all [C] want them.
[D] What do we [G] do with them?
Here we go.
[C] I'll tell you.
[D] _ _ [G] _ _
She said you got to do your fair share.
[C] Now cough [D] up half [G] the rent.
_ [C] I treat [D] my body [G] like a temple.
_ [C] You treat [D] yours [G] like a tent.
_ [C] But the right [D] word at [G] the right time.
[C] Hey, [D] give me a [G] little hug.
_ [C] That's the [D] difference [G] between lightning and [C] a harmless [D] _ [G] lightning bug.
_ [C] _ [D] Fruitcakes [G] in the kitchen.
_ [C] Cake [D] _ [G] on the street.
_ [C] Stretching [D] naked through [G] the crosswalk in [C] the middle [G] of the week.
Half [C] baked [D] cookies [G] in the oven.
Half [C] baked [D] people [G] on the bus.
_ _ [C] _ [D] There's a little bit [G] of fruitcake left [C] in [D] every one [G] of us.
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] Future.
[G] _ _
Captain's log, [C] stardate [D] 2000 [G] and something.
We're [C] seven years [G] from the millennium.
_ [B] That's a [D] science [G] fiction fact.
_ _ [C] Stanley [D] Kubrick [G] and his buddy Hal.
[C] Now don't [D] look that [G] abstract.
_ [C] So I put [D] on my [G] Bob Marley tape [C] and practice [G] what I preach.
_ _ [C] Get [D] your lost [G] in the reggae mon [C] as I [D] walk along [Bm] beach.
_ _ [C] Santa [D] Christmas [G] and Santa he [C] really [D] is the [G] only way.
[C] It's a [D] jungle out [G] there kiddies.
[D] Have a very fruitful [G] _
[A] day.
Hey!
[C] _ [D] Cakes [G] in the kitchen.
_ _ [C] _ [D] Cake on [G] the street.
_ _ [C] Stretching [D] naked through [G] the crosswalk in [C] the middle [D] of [G] the week.
Half [C] baked [D] cookies [G] in the oven.
Half [C] baked [D] people [G] on the bus.
_ _ [C] There's [D] a little bit [G] of fruitcake left [C] in [D] every one [G] of us.
That's right.
[C] _ [G] You too.
Yeah, those [C] crumpets spread all [D] around this [G] universe. _
I've [C] seen fruitcakes.
[G] I saw this guy in Santa Monica.
Roller [C] skating naked through the [G] crosswalk.
Down in New Orleans in the [C] French market there are [G] fruitcakes like you cannot believe.
[C] _ [G] New York, forget it.
Fruitcake city.
[C] _ _ [G] Down in Ireland we got fruitcakes.
[C] _ _ [G] Spread them crumbs around.
That's [C] right.
We want them around. _
_ _ _ _ _ [G] Keep making baby.
Keep making.
[C] _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ [C] _ _ [Bm] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _