Chords for George Carlin- Stand Up Routine 1965 [Reelin' In The Years Archives]

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_ One of our proudest comedy finds is with us tonight.
He's starring at Basin Street East here in New York,
certainly one of the most important clubs in the country.
His name is George Carlin.
He spoofs many things of a not so serious nature.
He's a bright and very contemporary comedian.
So I understand his act tonight's got a little bit more sting than usual.
So let us all listen together.
Here is George Carlin.
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Hi, how are you?
Thank you very much, Merv.
Thank you all. _ _
Leave him alone then.
Really, it's impossible to pick up a newspaper these days
without reading something about a protest or a march or a demonstration.
This group is protesting another group's march
and demonstrating against their bonfire and their rally.
The pickets are against the pickets.
They're picketing the pickets now.
There's even one group that next week is having a parade
to protest the fact that they can't get a parade permit.
Now that's kind of_
It's really, it's getting just a little bit out of hand.
The Hertz Renta pickets are doing wonderfully, of course.
But the signs are what really scare you from time to time.
Let's get out of Vietnam.
Let's get out of the UN.
Let's get out of the street.
We're blocking the traffic. _
[C] Ban the bomb.
Bomb the [B] ban.
Genghis Khan is alive in Argentina.
[Bb] _
_ He is not.
_ Join the Mother's March on [N] sore feet.
_ _ It's gotten very strange.
I even saw one guy with a sign that had nothing on it.
Absolutely blank, except down in the bottom it said,
your grievance in this space called Judson 4-14.
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_ But it is a little strange about these groups.
We talk about extremism and radicals.
And I thought to clear a little of the air about it,
we invited a fellow with us here tonight who's a member of us,
one of these so-called radical groups.
He's the local chapter head of the John Birch Society.
His name is Lyle O.
Higley.
The O stands for old glory.
He's a veteran of two wars, a depression, and a Mets double header.
_ _ Let's give him a nice welcome, Lyle O.
Higley.
Thank you.
_ _ _ Thank you very much.
The name is Lyle Higley.
I'm the head of the local chapter of the John Birch Society.
I'm what you might call your local chapter head.
And that's the New York chapter that takes in New York,
New Jersey, and parts of Idaho.
_ _ Having a little trouble making up the zones.
We're working off an old Lewis and Clark map, you understand.
That's not _ _ the only thing the attorney general will let us have, quite frankly.
But we're very well known in the area.
We won the mixed bowling league last year.
That's pretty important, pretty progressive for an outfit like ours.
Of course, I feel that's what we need is a little more progress here in the 19th century.
_ A lot of good things coming along for you.
The industrial revolution's right around the corner.
Steam engine will be finished next week.
A lot of good things coming along for the ladies.
At this time, I was going to have a guest speaker for us tonight.
I had invited the head of the Ku Klux Klan,
the grand imperial almighty omnipotent invincible stomper.
_ _ _ However, his wife won't let him out of the house. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ In his place, we have the supply officer in charge of sheets and ropes.
_ He's been coming along very nicely in the Klan.
He started off as a Kludd, then he went to a Kloop,
and legal klaxon klepto, now he's a Kludd.
He's just been acquitted of murder for the sixth time.
We'd like to introduce him now.
Collie Lee Collie.
That's weird, he's got his dog with him.
His dog's a Collie too.
Thank _ you very much.
I'd just like to address my remarks in the Northern Commie Liberal Pinko Press.
_ _ I have been living in the South for 27 years,
and I have never seen a cross burning on anybody's lawn.
I've seen whole neighborhoods go up. _ _ _
Thank you very much, Collie.
I think we all realize he's not playing with a full deck, folks.
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_ _ [Gb] _ _ [B] _ And before we leave you tonight, I have one thing I'd like to remind you.
The girls have been busy all week packing up the John Birch authorized kits.
Everything is ready to go.
It's got everything you need.
We'd like every one of you to have one.
You get your Donald Duck grenade launchers in there.
You see the grenade launcher with the little Donald Duck on his side.
200 tickets to the witch hunt up in Salem next week.
We got the John Birch handbook on how to persecute without prosecuting.
And mainly we got a document that every American ought to see.
This here is a list of 146 outstanding communists in the State Department.
Each and every one of these 123 names has been thoroughly investigated by the FBI.
We're going to take these 94 guys and throw them in jail where they belong.
The whole 62 of them, believe me.
You get a list with 38 names on it like that, you know how to work with.
We know how to handle these 17 commies.
Not one of the five of them will get away.
When that guy shows up, he's in trouble, [E] pal.
I'll tell you that.
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