Chords for Heaven On A Technicality

[G] _ _ _ _ _ _ [Bm] _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ [G] I drank and smoked and [Bm] told filthy jokes [C] Chased hookers and [G] strippers and cussed out folks
Made some mamas mad, [B] made some babies [Bm] cry [C] Stole this guitar [G] off [D] of a homeless guy
[G] I called up some pastors [Bm] and called those [C] bastards Some sorry [G] S.O.B.s
But now I'm on my [Bm] knees [C] with some no-low [G] contender pleas
_ _ _ _ Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [C] on a _
_ [G] technicality
Cause technically I fed the hungry, _ although it was mostly [D] me
And [G] technically I _ clothed the naked at [C] Ken's Strip Club in [G] Tennessee
So Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _
_ [G] technicality _ _ _ _ _
If [Bm] you save souls with loopholes, [C] maybe you could pull [G] some strings
Cause technically [Bm] I was born at the St.
John [C] Motel in room _ [D] 316 _
[G] And I know the Almighty [Bm] don't need nobody [C] _ more [G] pathetic than me
But Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _ _ [G] technicality
I _ _ _ _ never went to church, I [Bm] never tithed a dime [C] I'll have to be baptized [G] about 15 times
Cut Michelin tires, [Bm] threatened people's lives [C] And slept with a bunch [D] of church members' [G] wives
I'm the sorry creature [Bm] who beat up a preacher [C] who said he'd [G] pray for me
But now I'm on my [Bm] knees with [C] some semi [G]-guilty pleas _ _ _ _
Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [C] on a _ _ [G] technicality
Cause technically I was called to witness when I was busted for _ [D] PCP
And [G] technically I loved my neighbor, [C] but she was married and kind [G] of a sleaze
But Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _ _ [G] technicality
I _ _ _ _ [Bm] swear on a stack of Bibles [C] I'll never swear to [G] God again
And [Bm] technically what's the point of saving sinners [C] if _ nobody [D] sins
And [G] technically I can walk on [Bm] water [C] when it's below 32 [G] _ degrees
Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _
_ [G] technicality _ _ _ _ _
[Bm] In a tight I might could hum the first [C] verse of bringing in [G] the sheaves
[B] And it's a [Bm] stretch, but I catch some striped bass [C] that even you [D] wouldn't believe _
[G] And I know you saved an uncle of [Bm] mine one time [C] who used to always say [G] G.D.
So Jesus, please squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _ _ [G] technicality _
_ _ _ Jesus, squeeze me into heaven [D] on a _
_ _ _ _ _ [C] _ technicality
_ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _