Hey Santa Claus Chords by Kevin Bloody Wilson

_ _ _ _ _ _ [C] _ _
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Quite often I get to thinking [F] how as kids we got [C] by.
[F] Like at Christmas [C] time at our [D] house we couldn't even afford [G] a fire.
[C] But we made do with what we [F] had back then when I was [C] young.
[F] _ Dad used to [C] suck a peppermint [D] and we'd all sit around [G] his tongue.
_ [C] We couldn't afford no sparkly [F] tinsel for our [C] Christmas tree, [F] so we'd just wheel [C] old granddad
[D] in and make the old cunt [G] sneeze.
_ _ _ _ [B] _ _ _ _
[C] Wheel him round the other side nanna. _ _
_ Things changed pretty [F] bloody quick.
I got kids now of [C] me own [F] and I heard them [C] unwrap their prezzies [D] last night when I [G] got home.
_ _ _ [C] Hey Santa Claus you cunt, [F] where's me [C] fucking bike?
[F] I've unwrapped [C] all this other junk [D] and there's nothing that [G] I like.
[C] I wrote you a fucking letter and I [F] come to see [C] you twice.
[F] Do you want our [C] geriatric [G] farts or have you forgotten me [C] fucking bike? _
_ _ _ _ _ _ If I'd have wanted a pair of bloody thongs I would have bloody asked.
And this [F] cowboy suit and [C] ping pong set you [D] can shove right up [G] your ass.
You stuff me bloody order up, it's [F] enough to make you spew.
But it's not just me [C] who's snaky, me [G] sister's dirty [C] too.
[Am] _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
Hey Santa Claus [F] you cunt, where's me fucking pram?
You promised me [Gm] you'd send me one and you remember who I am?
[Cm] Cause I'm the [D] little girl like [Dm] you mate, sit right on your [F] hand.
I'll give you fucking ho [Cm] ho ho, you forgot me fucking pram.
[C] Next time I come to see [F] I'm gonna punch [C] you in the guts.
[F] And I'll let your [C] fucking reindeer [D] loose and kick [G] Rudolph in the nuts.
[C] You just wait till next [F] year when you get back to that [C] store [F] and me and me [C] little sister
[G] come stomping [C] through the door and we'll say, yeah you wait for it.
_ Hey mums and dads, just smell his [F] breath and check his [C] bloodshot eyes.
[F] And don't listen to [C] him boys and girls [D] cause he tells [G] fucking lies.
[C] He's just a piss tank and a pervert and [F] he's not even very [C] bright.
Cause [F] the old fucking [C] wanker [G] forgot me [C] fucking bike.
[Bm] _ [C] _ _ Hey Santa Claus you cunt, [F] where's me fucking bike?
I've unwrapped all this [C] other junk and there's nothing [G] that I like.
[C] And I wrote you a fucking letter and [F] I come to see you twice.
You want a [C] geriatric [G] fart, you forgot me [C] fucking bike. _ _
[F] Fucking dob [C] you in you old [F] cunt.
[G] Tell me old man I'm [D] gonna [G] punch your fucking [C] lights out. _
[F] I saw [C] mummy [F] sucking Santa [G] Claus.
_ _ [C] _ _ _ _ _ _