Chords for Japanese Nerd Who Has Never Had A Girlfriend

This is a story [F#] of a no-lifer nerd named [B] Sora.
[A] He apparently [G#] just finished teaching how [F#] to say,
_ ウンコがしたい気分です。
which means, I feel like taking a poop.
And now, he's [A] _
doing_
Wait, what is that? _ _
Oh, looks like he just got [E] a phone call.
_ [G#] Oh yeah, I [D] forgot the only person he [E] has on his contact list is his [F#m] mom.
[E] Obviously, he's never had a girlfriend, and he_
Wait, [G#] I had a girlfriend before.
When?
_ I [A] forgot.
And who was it?
[C#m] _
[E] Um_ うんち.
[E] Well, you know why you are not [G#] popular with ladies?
Why?
I [E] mean, look at your YouTube channel.
What the hell is this, this, and this?
Um, you know, I was just about [Em] to poop in my pants when I made those [G#] videos.
So_ See?
[E] There's the problem.
You are just really [G#] stupid.
So, [E] what do I do to [Em] be popular with ladies?
[G#] Well, I'm [Dm] 100% [F#] sure you'll never be popular [Am] with [A] any people,
but there's one thing you can [Em] do.
One thing.
_ [G#] Oh, that.
[D] [E] Okay, I got it.
_ [G#] _ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _
_ _ [B] _ _ [F#] _ _ [C#] _ [B] _
_ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _
_ _ [B] _ _ [F#] _ _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _
[B] _ _ [G#] _ _ [B] _ _ [C#] _ _
_ _ [G#] _ _ _ [B] _ _ _
_ _ [E] _ _ [F#] _ [C#] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ [B] _ _ [C#] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [A] Why myself?
[B] Oh, that's all.
[C#] _ Sucker.
I [D#] only make a mess.
[F] You can't have [D#] a good_
[C#] Oh, my love.
I [D#] gotta get a ball.
[Fm] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [C#] Oh, my love.
You [D#] think I'm had.
_ [C#] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _
_ _ [C#] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
_ _ [C#] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
_ _ [C#] _ _ _ [A] It works.
Rasta.
_ [C#] _ Sometimes, when I go to the ladies.
It's right everywhere.
Keep your ass moving.
[A] It's like it works for [B] me.
You're [C#] such a_
[D#] I'm your face and [F] I'm cute.
You can't have [D#] a good_
Oh, [C#] my love.
I [D#] gotta get a ball.
[Fm] _ _
_ _ _ _ [D#] [C#] Oh, my love.
[D#] But I'm never in [Fm] the process [D#] of watching.
_ [C#] Oh, my love.
Come [D#] and catch it.
_ [C#m] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ Yeah, I hardly hook it up [C#] for you. _
Come close to [G#] me.
Cause you smell like [C#] a_ Rasta.
_ [C#m] _ _ _ [F#] _ _ [G#] Don't come close to me.
Cause you [C#] smell like [A] a_ Why not?
Your [B] eyes _ are [C#] so sad.
[D#] I'm your face and I'm [Fm] cute.
You can't have [D#] a good_
Oh, [C#] my love.
I [D#] gotta get a [Fm] ball. _
_ _ _ _ [D#] [C#] Oh, my love.
_ [D#] But I'm never in [Fm] the process of [D#] watching.
Oh, [C#] my love.
Come and [D#] catch it.
_ [C#] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [C#] _ _
[F#m] _ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _ [C#] _
_ _ [F#] _ _ [A] _ _ [C] _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _