Chords for Key & Peele - Substitute Teacher 1&2 (cut)

_ _ _ All right, listen up, y'all.
I'm y'all's substitute teacher, Mr.
Garvey.
I taught school for 20 [B] years in the inner city,
so don't even think about messing with me.
Y'all feel me?
_ _ Let's take a roll here. _ _
J.
Quellin.
_ _ _ _ Where's J.
Quellin at?
No J.
Quellin here? _ _ _ _
Yeah.
Uh, do you mean Jacqueline?
Okay, so that's how it's gonna be.
Y'all wanna play.
Okay, then.
I've got my eye on you, J.
Quellin. _ _ _ _ _
_ Bilake.
_ _ Where is Bilake at?
_ _ No Bilake here today. _ _
_ Yes, sir.
My name's Blake. _ _
Are you out of your goddamn mind?
_ Blake?
What?
[Ab] Do you wanna go to war, Bilake?
No.
Because we could go to war.
[F] No.
I'm for real.
I'm for real.
So you better check yourself.
_ _ _ D-Nice. _ _
Is there a D-Nice? _ _ _
If one of y'all says some silly-ass name,
[Eb] this whole class is gonna feel my wrath.
Now, D-Nice.
Do you mean Denise?
No, no, no. Bitch!
_ [A] You say your name right, right now.
Denise?
Say it right.
Denise.
Correctly.
Denise.
Right.
Denise.
Right.
D-Nice. That's better.
Thank you.
Now, _ A-Aaron.
Where are you?
Where is A-Aaron right now?
No A-Aaron, huh?
Well, you better be sick, dead, or mute, A-Aaron.
Here.
Oh, man.
_ _ Why didn't you answer me the first time I said Aaron?
Huh?
I'm just, you know, I'm just asking you.
I said it like four times,
so why didn't you say it the first time I said A-Aaron? _ _ _
Because it's pronounced Aaron?
[Db] Son of a bitch! _
You done messed [E] up, A-Aaron!
Now, take your ass on down to Oshag Hennessey's office right now
and tell him exactly what you did!
_ Who?
Oshag Hennessey!
_ _ Principal O'Shaughnessy?
Get out of my goddamn classroom
before I break my foot [A] off in your ass!
Insubordinate _ and churlish.
[N] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Timothy. _
Present. Thank you!
[E] I want you, [Ebm] but I [Gb] don't need _ you.
All right, we'll [Bb] take a little roll here.
J.
Quellen.
Here.
_ [Bb] You are present.
Malake.
I'm here.
Uh-huh.
D.
[N] Nice.
Here.
Good. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Mr.
Garvey. _
What is it, A-Aaron?
Some of us need to leave a few minutes early today. _
_ _ _ _ Oh, is that so? _
_ _ Pray tell, is the reason for this premature_
_ _ Yearbook photos.
Um, we have to leave 15 minutes early to meet up with our clubs.
_ _ _ All right, you know what?
That might [B] work with other substitute teachers,
but I taught in [Bb] the inner city for over 20 years.
Now, y'all [N] want to leave my class early
so y'all can go meet up at the club.
_ Ain't none of y'all old enough to go to the damn club!
Thank goodness.
_ Mr.
Garvey.
God, son of a bitch! _
_ _ _ _ Just then, yes.
I'll throw you out the goddamn window.
_ What, J.
Quellen?
Mr.
[Bb] Garvey, we're telling the truth.
We have clubs at this school.
We have clubs for special interests.
Okay, I see.
So y'all want to play.
Y'all want to play.
Yeah, okay, we're going to play little games.
Fine, I'll play.
I'm more than happy to play some [Eb] games with y'all.
Anyone who's in a club, stand your ass up.
_ _ Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah, there it is.
There it is.
The usual suspects.
What the hell club are you in, J.
Quellen?
Future Leaders of America.
Okay. _
_ How would you know if you're going to be a leader in the future?
Is there a Stargate in [N] your bedroom?
Can you travel through time, J.
Quellen? No.
Then sit the flip down.
There he is.
Hey, A-Rod.
Hey, what club are you in?
I'm the president of the Glee Club.
Why do I talk?
The Glee Club?
What?
_ They don't have a club dedicated to a TV show.
Go ask to O'Shag Henderson's office right now before I bust a club up in your butt.
Yo, yo, yo.
_ Misdemeanors and deceitful, chicanerous and deplorable.
This is Principal O'Shaughnessy.
Students, please report to the gymnasium for your club photos.
[F] Fake announcement.
Now, does anybody in here have a valid reason for leaving this classroom?
Timothy.
I got to go pick up my daughter.
You're excused.
[Db] All I want is you.
But I don't need you.
All I _