Chords for Kunt & The Gang - Nobody Spunks Up A Cunt Anymore - Pipeline - 7/11/15

[G] _ Some of you will notice, some of [D] you won't notice, but last year I was [G] planning to do a kids album.
And, _ you know, I ain't fucking hell, but I was going to adapt some of the songs to make them friendly for kids,
because the songs are nice and catchy.
I was going to do Wag the Dog and Pat the Dog.
_ _ _ And that one I was going to do as a lonely nap in a travel [N] cot. _
_ _ _ _ And I went swimming with my iPhone and the whole idea got fucked, all my ideas were [G] gone.
What can you fucking do?
_ So this next one, this is a new song _
[Em] off my new album, Can't All Fix It.
I've [N] put a couple of new songs on there to try and drag the overall average up. _ _
[C] [G] And I've been wanting for a [G#] while, because [Em] Jimmy and his U3 chums, _ _ _ [G] in a way,
as well as ruining the All Fix It brand, and obviously 400 people's lives,
they also, _ _ _ in a way, ruin nostalgia.
Because you look back now and it all feels different.
I used to like to sit there in my pants and watch Top of the Pops 2.
_ There's only about three episodes I can show now, and I saw the DJs were diddling.
_ _ _ If [A] they catch Noel Edmonds, that's the show totally [N] fucked. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ I've _ got a little badge over there that says Noel for U3. _ _ _ _
_ [Gm] Did you know in the 70s BBC [E] stood for Blokes Bumming Children?
_ _ [Dm] _ _ _ _
_ _ I wanted to try and reclaim that nostalgia and [G] make us feel good about it again.
I started to think about something that I [Fm] feel nostalgic [G] about,
that ain't quite the same [E] nowadays with the internet age.
I've written a song about it, I'm going to play it for you now.
_ [N] _ _ _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ [E] _ _ _
_ _ _ [G] _ Life [D] _ _
_ [Bm] _ [A] _ is so different [E] since I [G] was a kid.
Now kids stay indoors, they don't do what I did.
[A] Like football, [E] conkers and grazing your [G] knee.
Now it's all FIFA 16 and Virtua Conkers 3.
[A] The world is so different in so [Em] many ways.
[G] Like a marathon is called [D] the stickers these days.
[A] You can't hold progress, [E] I wouldn't want to stop change.
[G] But there's one aspect of my life that I find so [D] strange.
[A] Nobody spucks [E] up a cut [A] [Dm] anymore.
Nobody [A] spucks up a cut anymore.
[D] It's like the world [A] has forgotten [E] what a fatty [A] is for.
_ _ _ But nobody spucks [E] up a cut [A] anymore.
[D] _ _
[A] _ [E] _ _ _ [A] On the internet, pox are spamming everywhere.
On ladies' faces and all in their [B] hair.
On knuckles, [A] their bum holes and all [F#m] up their back. _ _
_ _ Anywhere [A] but a beaver, blood's a flow in their sack.
Because nobody [E] spucks up a cut [A] anymore.
_ Nobody spucks [E] up a cut [A] anymore.
They're the world of dumb, [E] they're around the [F#m] back door.
_ _ _ Because [A]
nobody spucks [E] up a cut [A] anymore.
[D] Nobody [A] [E] spucks up _ _ _ [D] _ _
[A] _ [E] _ a cut [D] anymore.
Purely [A] [E] vaginas are a bit [A] of a bore.
[D] Because [A] nobody [E] spucks up a cut [A] anymore.
[D] _ _
[A] _ _ [E] _ _ [A] _ It feels like society is on a mission.
To make obsolete this angel tradition.
But I guess one blessing [E] that can't be [F#m] denied. _ _
_ [A] At least teenage _ pregnancy's on the slide.
Because nobody spucks up a cut anymore.
Nobody [E] spucks up a cut [A] [C#] anymore.
[D] Most pregnant ladies [A] have [E] tears and arseholes [F#m] in their eyes.
_ _ _ [C#] [D] But nobody [A] spucks up [E] a cut [A] anymore.
[Dm] And I'm nobody [A] [E] spucks up a cut anymore. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _