Chords for Mixed Messages

_ _ _ _ Sunday night, [Db] you're at home all alone
[Eb] Last night was great, it was our very [Gm] first date
So now it's time to pull out [Cm] my phone
This is [F] gonna be a bit, yeah, it's gonna be a bit [Ab] Come on
Romance needs [Gm] clarity, but baby, [Db] that don't work for [Cm] me I'm sending
Text [Eb] messages, text messages
I send the first text in a cute [Gm] way
And then I don't reply for [Cm] seven fucking days, yeah
Merry Christmas, [Eb]
Merry Christmas
Oh, you text me one night of my [Gm] free and I reply yes [Cm] Post-lock
I send you a little smiley [Bbm] face
So you send me back a little smiley [Eb] face
And then I say hey
And so [Gm] you write back hey
And I say, hey, what?
[Cm] And you say, [Bbm] you said hey first
And I say, _ [Eb] okay
Croissant emoji
[Gm] _
Fuck you
[Cm] Merry _ _ _ [Eb] Christmas, Merry Christmas
One second I [Cm] say you're very pretty
And then I show up at your house and I kick you down, yeah
Text [Eb] messages, text messages
I pay for the grog's veterinary bills
[Gm] But then I punch your [F] dad in the dick, ha ha [Cm] ha ha ha
Now I'm going to a hospital
[F] Just me, you and your dad in the back of an [Eb] ambulance
And even with your dad's broken [Gm] dick, the air is [C] thick with
Legs and [Cm] balls
I feel sorry for [Bbm] punching your dad in the dick, I won't do it [Eb] again
You make me shake his hand and [Gm] promise
[Eb] But as I do I ball up my other [Cm] fist and I
Punch your dad in the dick again
I punch your dad in his broken dick again
[Eb] You think I'm sexy, I'm being [Gm] mysterious
Sending [Ab] you all these good [Cm] messages
You say, keep punching my [Db] dad's dick
I say, okay, but then I [Cm] wink
So you grab both of my [Gm] hands quick
Stopping my third [Cm] attempt to punch with that dick
Oh baby, you've played this [Bb] game before
Too bad, I [D] played a little bit more
You got [F] both my hands so I [C] use my head
I headbutt your dad's pants in the [Cm] back of an ambulance
And between the [Bbm] headbutts our eyes lock
As we're holding [Eb] hands and we can't help but kiss over your dad's
Not [Gm] once, twice, thrice, [Cm] broken dick
Dick, [Eb] dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick
I say I love you in a cute way
[Gm] And then I punch your [Cm] dad's dick every day
Dick, [Eb] dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick
Tell your dad that I'm sorry
[Gm] But then punching [C] in his dick [Cm] again
_ _ _ [Eb] _