My Idea Of Heaven Chords by Matt Pless

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_ _ If I were a god, I'd make a lot of [C] milkshakes, pour them down on [G] people, watch them all go [C] crazy.
If I were a god, I'd fry a lot of bacon, put it in the milkshakes, my idea of [Fm] heaven,
bacon in a [G] milkshake, my [C] idea of heaven. _ _ _
_ If I were a genius, I could make you love me, [Fm] but I'm not a genius, [G] cause nobody loves [C] me.
If I were a genius, I could write equations, [Fm] I could pass the math [G] test, but I'd [C] never
solve them, I could pass the math [G] test, but I'd [C] never solve them. _ _ _ _
If I crack a bottle, I could swallow vodka, [Fm] walking into brick [G] walls, acting like my father.
[C] If I crack a bottle, I could swim in whiskey, I'd forget my lover, cause she [C] doesn't miss
me, [Fm] I'd forget my lover, [G] cause she [C] doesn't miss me. _ _ _ _
If I were a record, I'd be getting dizzy, spinning rounded circles, [G] sticking needles in [C] me.
If I were a record, I'd be wearing vinyl, [Fm] dressing like a rockstar, going out of style,
dressing like a [G] rockstar, going out [C] of style. _
_ _ _ If I were a cell phone, I'd call in a bomb [Fm] threat, almost got [G] arrested, but I shot the sheriff.
[C] If I were a cell phone, we could learn our lesson, I would leave a [G] voicemail if you [C] leave
a message, [F] I would leave a [G] voicemail if you [C] leave a message. _ _ _
_ _ If I were a god, I'd fry a lot of bacon, [C] put it in the [G] milkshakes, my idea of heaven.
If I were a god, I'd find it quite [C] perplexing, balancing the [G] bacon, trying to [C] please the
vegans, bringing home the [G] bacon, but I [C] love the vegans. _ _
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