Chords for Paul Thorn: Joanie, the Jehovah's Witness Stripper

_ Thank you.
[C] _ [G] _ _ [N] I had a request to sing this song right here.
It's a song I sang the other night. _
It's about the girl that lived in the neighborhood I grew up in.
Her family was all Jehovah's Witness.
And before I go any further with the story,
I do not have nothing against the Jehovah's Witness.
God bless them all.
They're wonderful people.
Sometimes they're the only people that'll talk to you.
If you can't get the Jehovah's Witness to talk to you,
you might want to shine up your social skills.
[Ab] _ _ _
_ Anyway.
[B] _ _ [Abm] [Ab] My good [N] friend, when she left home at the age of 18,
she got a job working in a convenience store
and she learned how hard it was to pay your bill
on a minimum wage paycheck.
So she came to my house one evening in tears.
She said, Paul, I can't pay my rent.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to move back in with Mom and Daddy.
What can I do to make some extra money?
So she and I sat down together and we brainstormed.
And we decided the best way for her to earn some extra money
would be to become a topless dancer on the weekends. _
And she did.
_ [Ab] And this song I'm about to sing, it tells her triumphal _ story
of how she rose from rags to riches
as Joni, the Jehovah's Witness stripper.
_ _ And usually when I sing [N] this song, I play my kazoo.
But I accidentally left my kazoo back up in the room.
So I'm going to have to imitate a kazoo as I sing this song.
[Ab] _ _
_ [B] _ [Abm] _ _ _ _ [Db] _ _
_ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _ [Eb] _ _
[Ab] She drives a new car, wears expensive blouses.
She [Db] tells her mama she's [Ab] cleaning houses.
She goes out witnessing, doing [Abm] the Lord's [Db] work all week.
But on [Abm] the weekend, she's [Eb] making ends meet.
_ _ [Abm] Joni [Db] loves Jehovah's [Ab] Witness stripper.
_ [Db] Put a dollar in her G-string and she'll [Abm] deliver.
If her [Ab] daddy only knew, [Db] he'd probably kill her.
[Ab] Joni [Eb] loves [Ab] Jehovah's Witness [Abm] stripper.
_ _ _ _ [Eb] _
_ [Abm] _ _ One night down at the club, her daddy walked in.
He [Db] didn't recognize his [Ab] daughter dancing.
She [Abm] wore a blonde wig and he [Db] had sunglasses.
When [Ab] she got [Abm] naked, he [C] started clapping.
_ _ [Abm] _ [Db] Joni loves [Ab] Jehovah's Witness stripper.
_ [Db] Put a dollar in her G-string and she'll [Ab] deliver.
If her daddy only knew, [Db] he'd probably kill her.
[Ab] Joni [Eb] loves Jehovah's [Ab] Witness stripper.
_ [Db] If you ask her why she does it, [Ab] she looks at it this way.
She says, [Db] I'm counting the pieces every [Ab] night when I get paid.
[Db] She once lived in poverty and [Abm] now everything's all right.
The [Bb] Lord showed her how to make [Gb] a thousand [Eb] dollars a [Db] day.
_ [Abm] [Db] Joni loves Jehovah's [Ab] Witness stripper.
_ Put [Db] a dollar in her G-string and she'll [Ab] deliver.
If her daddy only knew, [Db] he'd probably kill her.
[Ab] [Bb] Joni [Eb] loves Jehovah's Witness [Ab] stripper.
[Abm] _ _ [Ab] _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _ [Bbm] _ _