Chords for The Beer

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_ Beer [A] I had for breakfast was a bottle [F#m] of Matt Dogg and my [A] 2020 vision [E] was 50 [F#m]% off
He said punch, [A] but he read and punched me right in [F#m] my left eye
I said don't you [A] mean good diddle [B] and I lit his [F#m] house on fire.
[A] He came home on acid
[E] I was holding [F#m] his shotgun.
I was [A] dressed like Tina Turner in [B] Beyond [D]
Thunderdome
He said don't [A] shoot.
I said I won't I love you.
You're [F#m] my friend
I [A] handed him my wig and shot [Bm] myself in [F#m] the head
Then I stuffed [A] a box of tissues in the hole [F#m] in my skull
I got [A] in my Mazda and I [B] drove [F#m] to the mall
I bought a [A] big Johnson shirt and some silicone tits when I pulled out the tissues
They were covered with shit and the beer I had for breakfast [Bm] was a box of [F#m] cheap white wine
And the [A] boombox on my [B] shoulder was like the box of [F#m] clementines
I ate [A] every single one without noticing the mold.
You just said you're gross my [B] darling.
I said no, [F#m] I'm rock and roll
Even [A] though I'd never ever been in [F#m] a band
I got cool [A] as black ice _ [F#m] tattooed on my hand and the [A] Christians gave me comic books as if I would [F#m] be scared of
[A] Burning in hell [B] while I was [F#m] already there
And the beer [A] I had for breakfast silver bullet [D] in the brain and the beer [A] I had for lunch was a bottle [D] of nitrate
And the beer [A] I had for dinner was my crazy [F#m] neighbor's bills
We had to sit [A] down on [B] skateboards just to make it [F#m] down the hill
Then I peed [A] my pants and you stole the [F#m] grim cigar and some old [A] man made me watch and master bit [F#m] locked in his car
I got back [A] to the apartment.
You were [F#m] facedown on the floor.
You said don't [A] go to bed yet
Let's go get a 64 and the beer I had for breakfast [E] was a pint [F#m] of Jim Beam and a [A] fifth of peach snaps
And some warm sunny D and you said bottoms up [B] just as I [F#m] bottomed out
I had tried to [A] scream fuck you but [B] blood was pouring [F#m] out my mouth and Evan [A] Dando never [B] planned
I'm telling [F#m] you the truth and you're [A] Leonardo ID [B] card is your [F#m] fountain of you
You can be a [A] teenager [E] for your whole [F#m] fucking life
Just find some [A] pretty sucker [B] and make that [F#m] bitch your wife and I guess by [A] now you all know my friend Danny [F#m] broke his neck
He was [B] driving home from sirens and he got [F#m] into a wreck first
I [A] cried for him and then I [F#m] cried for me haunted [A] by the ghost [B] of the girl
[F#m] I used to be but [A] the rocks with [B] holes are warm [F#m] in my hands
And I bury [A] my [E] toes in the hot [F#m] hot sand and the silver [A] pink [B] pony
Kisses me [F#m] and says come [A] along long [E] way and you _ deserve to be
really [A] happy _ _
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