Perks Of The Job Chords by The Lancashire Hotpots

[G] _ [D] _ [Em] _ [D] _ [G] _ _ _ _
[D] This one's going out [G] to anyone who's in a [D] job that they don't [C] like, ladies and [G] gentlemen.
That's all of us.
If you're lucky [D] enough these days to be employed,
[C] there's lots [G] of ways the company gets you annoyed.
You change your hours and your shifts, you [D] get so downhearted.
[C] You've had a hard time paying [G] right since you started.
If you don't like [D] it, the firm will give you the sack.
[C] But did you know there's a [G] way you can get your own back?
Your dignity's been robbed, [D] but nobody cares.
[C] So what you've got to do is [G] steal something of theirs.
It's called the perks of the job.
[D] I'm at work and I'm on the rob.
[Em] I'm gonna take whatever [G] I can fit in my pocket [Am] to make me feel better [D] and they just can't stop [G] it.
I'll be stuck in this job [D] till I reach my old [Em] age.
Won't do it if they paid [C] me a decent [G] wage.
Until they do, [D] I'm gonna gut a [C] tone and help myself to [G] anything that's not nailed down.
[D] [Em] Drawing pins.
[D] [Am] Them little rubbers [G] that have got a hard end and a soft end.
Revenge against the company [D] tastes delicious.
[C] Don't set too much too [G] soon or they're gonna get suspicious.
Stuff that people won't miss [D] or they'll be tears.
[C] I've not bought paper from your [G] printer for about three years.
Don't be cocky and [D] put a laptop up your sleeve.
[C] Just a little bit of [G] something every time you leave.
An envelope a day.
[D] That'll never be missed.
[G] There's more stationary in our lives than in WH Smith's.
It's called the perks of the job.
[D] I'm at work and I'm on the rob.
[Em] I'm gonna take whatever [Bm] I can fit in my [Am] pocket to make me feel [D] better and they just can't stop [G] it.
I'll be stuck in this job [D] till I reach my old [Em] age.
Won't do it if they [C] paid me a [Am] decent [G] wage.
Until they [D] do, I'm gonna gut a [C] tone and help myself to [G] anything that's not nailed down.
[D] _ [Em] _ [D] _ [C] _ [G] _ _
If the thought of stealing [D] sends you out of your mind, [C] there's other ways of getting [G] you.
Benefits in kind.
Use the work phone.
Call your [D] mate in Timbuktu.
[C] Or an error on your [G] Facebook page will do.
Now here's a top [D] tip from me workmate Shirley.
[C] An excuse to give your [G] boss if you want to leave early.
You've got to go because your [D] kid's developed a terrible cough.
[C] Ah, but that'll save you [G] shed roofs being blown off.
It's called the perks of the [N] job.
I'm at work and I'm on the rob.
Come on now.
I'm gonna take [E] whatever I can [C#] fit in my pocket to [D] make me feel better and they just can't stop it.
I'll be stuck in [Am] this job till I reach my old [E] age.
Won't do it if they paid me a [C] decent wage.
Until they [B] do, I'm gonna [G#] gut a tone and [D] help myself to [G] anything that's not nailed down.
It's called the perks of the job.
[D] I'm at work and I'm on the rob.
[B]
[Em] I'm gonna take [Bm] whatever I can fit in my [Am] pocket to make me feel [D] better and they just can't [G] stop it.
I'll be stuck in this job [D] till I reach my old [Em] age.
Won't do it if they [C] paid me a decent [G] wage.
Until they [D] do, I'm gonna gut a [C] tone and help myself to [G] anything that's not nailed down.
_ _ _ [D] _ Now [B] ladies and gentlemen, [Em] if you do get [Bm] caught snealing from your workplace,
[Am] let me tell you, the Lancashire Opts do not [D] actually [G] condone theft.
Be it office based [D] or, [Em] you know, major bank theft, [C] we don't condone that.
[G] And let me tell [D] you, you will go to prison, that's [C] right.
Do you know why?
Because you're a nobody.
[G] I mean, we like you because you've brought the record.
[D] Unless you've [Em] downloaded it [D] illegally, in which case we [C] dislike you.
[D] And that is theft [G] as well.
Just listen to the release without [D] charge again.
All right.
[Em] _ [D] _ [C] _ _ _ _
[G] _ Little post-it notes, right?
Turn one round, you can stick them on your fridge at home,
ideal for leaving handy notes for a loved one.
Not I love you, like, get milk.
You need foot get bog roll.
_ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _