Chords for The Loophole by Garfunkel and Oates
Tempo:
123.1 bpm
Chords used:
Bb
C
F
Dm
G
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
[Bb]
[C]
[C]
[F]
All my [Bb] life, I've been good, [F] do what my mom and dad [C] and God say I should.
[F] Go to church [Gm] and Bible [C] school to live by [F] God's rule.
So whatever [A] people tell me, that the Bible [Bb] tells me, [C]
I [F] will do.
Walk the halls of high school [Bb] with my purity ring.
[Dm] Unlike those other girls, [C] I got my morals in check.
[F] It was easy to do, [Bb] till I got a boyfriend [Dm] and pardon my [G] French, but he's cute as heck.
[Bb] But I made a [Bb] pact to keep my hymen intact, and Jesus and [C] I are tight.
[F]
Never learned about [Bb] the birds and bees.
[Dm] I was taught to keep an aspirin [C] in between my knees.
[F] But the Bible says premarital [Bb] sex is wrong.
[Dm] But Jason says that [G] guys can't wait that long.
I don't [F] want to lose him to someone who'll do [Bb] him.
I need to figure something [C] out.
Well, [F] there's a loophole in the scripture [Bb] that works really well, so [Dm] I can get him off
[C] without going to [F] hell.
It's my Hail [Bb] Mary, full of grace.
[Dm] In Jesus' name, [G] we go to fifth base.
[Dm] Oh, thank you for making [G] me holy.
[Dm] And thank you for giving me holes [Bb] to choose from.
And since I'm not a [C] godless whore,
[Bb] he'll have to come [C] in the back door.
Therefore, [F] fuck me in the ass, cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] If the Lord would want it that [C] way.
Give me that [Gm] sweet sensation of a [G] throbbing rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone knows it's the [C] sex that [F] God can't see.
It's hard to [Bb] be as pure as me.
[Dm] To resist the urge to lose [C] my vaginal [F] virginity.
To wait until [Bb] my marriage bed to [Dm] give my husband my [G] unsullied maidenhead.
So [F] take your cock out, shove it in my ass.
[Bb] Fuck me until [C] you come.
[Bb] Oops, I mean let's join [F] our souls and unite our [Bb] bodies and fly with the wings [C] of God.
[F] Whatever you [Bb] do, don't touch my [Dm] clitoris.
If you ring Satan's [C] doorbell, God can't ignore [F] this.
And no [Bb] prophylactics when you put it in.
[Dm] Cause we're controls for sluts [G] and it's a sin.
[Bb] I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels.
I'm ready for [C] romance.
Now I'm [F] praying to the power [Bb] that's the highest.
[Dm] But of all of my holes, [C] this one's the driest.
[F] And we can't procreate [Bb] if we anally copulate.
[Dm] And God's okay with [G] sodomy, but only if you're straight.
And [Bb] I'm staying pure no matter [C] what.
[Bb] So I'm okay with everything but, everything but, everything but.
[F] Whoa, fuck me in the [Bb] ass cause I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would [Bb] want it that way.
[F] Give me that sweet [Gm] sensation of a rock-hard [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you [C] and me.
Cause everyone knows it's the sex [F] that God can't see.
[Dm] I do whatever the [G] Bible tells me [Dm] to.
Except for the [C] parts that I choose to ignore.
Cause they're unrealistic and inconvenient.
But the [Dm] rest I live by [G] for sure.
[Bb] So let's not talk about how the [C] good book bans shellfish, polyester, and divorce.
[Bb] And how it condones slavery and killing [C] gays.
Cause those parts don't count, of course.
[G] But jerry-pick the part about losing my jerry.
And mine it for [B] ambiguities and omissions.
To [Dbm] circumvent any real [Dm] sacrifice.
But still feel pious in my [G] arbitrary parroted positions.
[F] And don't you dare [Dm] question my convictions.
And [G] don't look closely at the [Gm] contradictions.
[F] Just focus on the [Dm] sacrificial crucifixion.
[G] And have faith in its [Gm] complete jurisdiction.
[G] As the only way to measure if you're good or not.
And in any debate just say to have faith.
Cause when up against logic it's the only [C] card you've lost.
[Bb] So close your eyes.
Take [C] a deep breath.
[F] And
Fuck me in the ass cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would want it that [C] way.
[F] Give me that sweet sensation of an irrational [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone [C] knows it's the sex that [G] God can't see.
Yeah [Bb] my chastity belt has [Bb] locks.
But sometimes you need [C] to think outside [F] the box.
[N]
[C]
[C]
[F]
All my [Bb] life, I've been good, [F] do what my mom and dad [C] and God say I should.
[F] Go to church [Gm] and Bible [C] school to live by [F] God's rule.
So whatever [A] people tell me, that the Bible [Bb] tells me, [C]
I [F] will do.
Walk the halls of high school [Bb] with my purity ring.
[Dm] Unlike those other girls, [C] I got my morals in check.
[F] It was easy to do, [Bb] till I got a boyfriend [Dm] and pardon my [G] French, but he's cute as heck.
[Bb] But I made a [Bb] pact to keep my hymen intact, and Jesus and [C] I are tight.
[F]
Never learned about [Bb] the birds and bees.
[Dm] I was taught to keep an aspirin [C] in between my knees.
[F] But the Bible says premarital [Bb] sex is wrong.
[Dm] But Jason says that [G] guys can't wait that long.
I don't [F] want to lose him to someone who'll do [Bb] him.
I need to figure something [C] out.
Well, [F] there's a loophole in the scripture [Bb] that works really well, so [Dm] I can get him off
[C] without going to [F] hell.
It's my Hail [Bb] Mary, full of grace.
[Dm] In Jesus' name, [G] we go to fifth base.
[Dm] Oh, thank you for making [G] me holy.
[Dm] And thank you for giving me holes [Bb] to choose from.
And since I'm not a [C] godless whore,
[Bb] he'll have to come [C] in the back door.
Therefore, [F] fuck me in the ass, cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] If the Lord would want it that [C] way.
Give me that [Gm] sweet sensation of a [G] throbbing rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone knows it's the [C] sex that [F] God can't see.
It's hard to [Bb] be as pure as me.
[Dm] To resist the urge to lose [C] my vaginal [F] virginity.
To wait until [Bb] my marriage bed to [Dm] give my husband my [G] unsullied maidenhead.
So [F] take your cock out, shove it in my ass.
[Bb] Fuck me until [C] you come.
[Bb] Oops, I mean let's join [F] our souls and unite our [Bb] bodies and fly with the wings [C] of God.
[F] Whatever you [Bb] do, don't touch my [Dm] clitoris.
If you ring Satan's [C] doorbell, God can't ignore [F] this.
And no [Bb] prophylactics when you put it in.
[Dm] Cause we're controls for sluts [G] and it's a sin.
[Bb] I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels.
I'm ready for [C] romance.
Now I'm [F] praying to the power [Bb] that's the highest.
[Dm] But of all of my holes, [C] this one's the driest.
[F] And we can't procreate [Bb] if we anally copulate.
[Dm] And God's okay with [G] sodomy, but only if you're straight.
And [Bb] I'm staying pure no matter [C] what.
[Bb] So I'm okay with everything but, everything but, everything but.
[F] Whoa, fuck me in the [Bb] ass cause I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would [Bb] want it that way.
[F] Give me that sweet [Gm] sensation of a rock-hard [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you [C] and me.
Cause everyone knows it's the sex [F] that God can't see.
[Dm] I do whatever the [G] Bible tells me [Dm] to.
Except for the [C] parts that I choose to ignore.
Cause they're unrealistic and inconvenient.
But the [Dm] rest I live by [G] for sure.
[Bb] So let's not talk about how the [C] good book bans shellfish, polyester, and divorce.
[Bb] And how it condones slavery and killing [C] gays.
Cause those parts don't count, of course.
[G] But jerry-pick the part about losing my jerry.
And mine it for [B] ambiguities and omissions.
To [Dbm] circumvent any real [Dm] sacrifice.
But still feel pious in my [G] arbitrary parroted positions.
[F] And don't you dare [Dm] question my convictions.
And [G] don't look closely at the [Gm] contradictions.
[F] Just focus on the [Dm] sacrificial crucifixion.
[G] And have faith in its [Gm] complete jurisdiction.
[G] As the only way to measure if you're good or not.
And in any debate just say to have faith.
Cause when up against logic it's the only [C] card you've lost.
[Bb] So close your eyes.
Take [C] a deep breath.
[F] And
Fuck me in the ass cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would want it that [C] way.
[F] Give me that sweet sensation of an irrational [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone [C] knows it's the sex that [G] God can't see.
Yeah [Bb] my chastity belt has [Bb] locks.
But sometimes you need [C] to think outside [F] the box.
[N]
Key:
Bb
C
F
Dm
G
Bb
C
F
[Bb] _ _ _ _ _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ _
_ [F] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ All my [Bb] life, I've been good, [F] do what my mom and dad [C] and God say I should.
[F] Go to church [Gm] and Bible [C] school to live by _ [F] God's rule.
So whatever [A] people tell me, that the Bible [Bb] tells me, [C] _
I [F] will do. _ _
Walk the halls of high school [Bb] with my purity ring.
[Dm] Unlike those other girls, [C] I got my morals in check.
[F] It was easy to do, [Bb] till I got a boyfriend [Dm] and pardon my [G] French, but he's cute as heck.
[Bb] But I made a [Bb] pact to keep my hymen intact, and Jesus and [C] I are tight.
[F]
Never learned about [Bb] the birds and bees.
[Dm] I was taught to keep an aspirin [C] in between my knees.
[F] But the Bible says premarital [Bb] sex is wrong.
[Dm] But Jason says that [G] guys can't wait that long.
I don't [F] want to lose him to someone who'll do [Bb] him.
I need to figure something [C] out.
Well, [F] there's a loophole in the scripture [Bb] that works really well, so [Dm] I can get him off
[C] without going to [F] hell.
It's my Hail [Bb] Mary, full of grace.
[Dm] In Jesus' name, [G] we go to fifth base. _
[Dm] Oh, thank you for making [G] me holy.
[Dm] And thank you for giving me holes [Bb] to choose from.
And since I'm not a [C] godless whore, _
[Bb] he'll have to come [C] in the back door.
Therefore, [F] fuck me in the ass, cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] If the Lord would want it that [C] way.
Give me that [Gm] sweet sensation of a [G] throbbing rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone knows it's the [C] sex that [F] God can't see. _ _ _
It's hard to [Bb] be as pure as me.
[Dm] To resist the urge to lose [C] my vaginal [F] virginity.
To wait until [Bb] my marriage bed to [Dm] give my husband my [G] unsullied maidenhead.
So [F] take your cock out, shove it in my ass.
[Bb] Fuck me until [C] you come.
[Bb] Oops, I mean let's join [F] our souls and unite our [Bb] bodies and fly with the wings [C] of God. _ _
_ [F] Whatever you [Bb] do, don't touch my [Dm] clitoris.
If you ring Satan's [C] doorbell, God can't ignore [F] this.
And no [Bb] prophylactics when you put it in.
[Dm] Cause we're controls for sluts [G] and it's a sin.
[Bb] I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels.
I'm ready for [C] _ romance.
Now I'm [F] praying to the power [Bb] that's the highest.
[Dm] But of all of my holes, [C] this one's the driest.
[F] And we can't procreate [Bb] if we anally copulate.
[Dm] And God's okay with [G] sodomy, but only if you're straight.
_ And [Bb] I'm staying pure no matter [C] what.
[Bb] So I'm okay with everything but, everything but, everything but.
_ _ _ [F] Whoa, fuck me in the [Bb] ass cause I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would [Bb] want it that way.
[F] Give me that sweet [Gm] sensation of a rock-hard [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you [C] and me.
Cause everyone knows it's the sex [F] that God can't see.
_ _ _ [Dm] I do whatever the [G] Bible tells me [Dm] to.
Except for the [C] parts that I choose to ignore.
Cause they're unrealistic and inconvenient.
But the [Dm] rest I live by [G] for sure. _
[Bb] So let's not talk about how the [C] good book bans shellfish, polyester, and divorce.
[Bb] And how it condones slavery and killing [C] gays.
Cause those parts don't count, of course.
[G] But jerry-pick the part about losing my jerry.
And mine it for [B] ambiguities and omissions.
To [Dbm] circumvent any real [Dm] sacrifice.
But still feel pious in my [G] arbitrary parroted positions.
[F] And don't you dare [Dm] question my convictions.
And [G] don't look closely at the [Gm] contradictions.
[F] Just focus on the [Dm] sacrificial crucifixion.
[G] And have faith in its [Gm] complete jurisdiction.
_ [G] As the only way to measure if you're good or not.
And in any debate just say to have faith.
Cause when up against logic it's the only [C] card you've lost. _
_ _ [Bb] So close your eyes.
Take [C] a deep breath. _
_ _ _ [F] And_
Fuck me in the ass cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would want it that [C] way.
[F] Give me that sweet sensation of an irrational [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone [C] knows it's the sex that [G] God can't see. _
Yeah [Bb] my chastity belt has [Bb] locks.
But sometimes you need [C] to think outside [F] the box. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _
[C] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ _ _
_ [F] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ All my [Bb] life, I've been good, [F] do what my mom and dad [C] and God say I should.
[F] Go to church [Gm] and Bible [C] school to live by _ [F] God's rule.
So whatever [A] people tell me, that the Bible [Bb] tells me, [C] _
I [F] will do. _ _
Walk the halls of high school [Bb] with my purity ring.
[Dm] Unlike those other girls, [C] I got my morals in check.
[F] It was easy to do, [Bb] till I got a boyfriend [Dm] and pardon my [G] French, but he's cute as heck.
[Bb] But I made a [Bb] pact to keep my hymen intact, and Jesus and [C] I are tight.
[F]
Never learned about [Bb] the birds and bees.
[Dm] I was taught to keep an aspirin [C] in between my knees.
[F] But the Bible says premarital [Bb] sex is wrong.
[Dm] But Jason says that [G] guys can't wait that long.
I don't [F] want to lose him to someone who'll do [Bb] him.
I need to figure something [C] out.
Well, [F] there's a loophole in the scripture [Bb] that works really well, so [Dm] I can get him off
[C] without going to [F] hell.
It's my Hail [Bb] Mary, full of grace.
[Dm] In Jesus' name, [G] we go to fifth base. _
[Dm] Oh, thank you for making [G] me holy.
[Dm] And thank you for giving me holes [Bb] to choose from.
And since I'm not a [C] godless whore, _
[Bb] he'll have to come [C] in the back door.
Therefore, [F] fuck me in the ass, cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] If the Lord would want it that [C] way.
Give me that [Gm] sweet sensation of a [G] throbbing rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone knows it's the [C] sex that [F] God can't see. _ _ _
It's hard to [Bb] be as pure as me.
[Dm] To resist the urge to lose [C] my vaginal [F] virginity.
To wait until [Bb] my marriage bed to [Dm] give my husband my [G] unsullied maidenhead.
So [F] take your cock out, shove it in my ass.
[Bb] Fuck me until [C] you come.
[Bb] Oops, I mean let's join [F] our souls and unite our [Bb] bodies and fly with the wings [C] of God. _ _
_ [F] Whatever you [Bb] do, don't touch my [Dm] clitoris.
If you ring Satan's [C] doorbell, God can't ignore [F] this.
And no [Bb] prophylactics when you put it in.
[Dm] Cause we're controls for sluts [G] and it's a sin.
[Bb] I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels.
I'm ready for [C] _ romance.
Now I'm [F] praying to the power [Bb] that's the highest.
[Dm] But of all of my holes, [C] this one's the driest.
[F] And we can't procreate [Bb] if we anally copulate.
[Dm] And God's okay with [G] sodomy, but only if you're straight.
_ And [Bb] I'm staying pure no matter [C] what.
[Bb] So I'm okay with everything but, everything but, everything but.
_ _ _ [F] Whoa, fuck me in the [Bb] ass cause I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would [Bb] want it that way.
[F] Give me that sweet [Gm] sensation of a rock-hard [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you [C] and me.
Cause everyone knows it's the sex [F] that God can't see.
_ _ _ [Dm] I do whatever the [G] Bible tells me [Dm] to.
Except for the [C] parts that I choose to ignore.
Cause they're unrealistic and inconvenient.
But the [Dm] rest I live by [G] for sure. _
[Bb] So let's not talk about how the [C] good book bans shellfish, polyester, and divorce.
[Bb] And how it condones slavery and killing [C] gays.
Cause those parts don't count, of course.
[G] But jerry-pick the part about losing my jerry.
And mine it for [B] ambiguities and omissions.
To [Dbm] circumvent any real [Dm] sacrifice.
But still feel pious in my [G] arbitrary parroted positions.
[F] And don't you dare [Dm] question my convictions.
And [G] don't look closely at the [Gm] contradictions.
[F] Just focus on the [Dm] sacrificial crucifixion.
[G] And have faith in its [Gm] complete jurisdiction.
_ [G] As the only way to measure if you're good or not.
And in any debate just say to have faith.
Cause when up against logic it's the only [C] card you've lost. _
_ _ [Bb] So close your eyes.
Take [C] a deep breath. _
_ _ _ [F] And_
Fuck me in the ass cause [Bb] I love Jesus.
[Dm] The good Lord would want it that [C] way.
[F] Give me that sweet sensation of an irrational [G] rationalization.
[Bb] It's just between you and [C] me.
[Bb] Cause everyone [C] knows it's the sex that [G] God can't see. _
Yeah [Bb] my chastity belt has [Bb] locks.
But sometimes you need [C] to think outside [F] the box. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _