This Offer Is Unrepeatable Chords by Elvis Costello & The Brodsky Quartet

_ _ _ _ _ Don't send any _ money! _ _ _ _
[G] Love paid has no price, ignore at your barrel this splendid advice
An invaluable link and an infinite chain
An author like this will just not come [F] again _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ [G] I wish you had women to charm and bewitch
Power of life and death over the rich
Young girls will be swooning because you're exciting
Not only fall at your feet, but [F] be biting them
_ _ _ _ [C] _
[D] Guaranteed, guaranteed [E] to capture your [Bm] breath
Or [E] possibly scare you [A] to death
Sign [D] it and seal it and send it to [Bm] friends
Don't [E] mention my name, [Am] don't make [D] any long-term plans _ _ _
_ _ In 36 [G] hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you and evil will straighten
Do not keep this letter, it must leave your hand
You have been selected from over [F] 5 _ _ ,000 _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] Ah, [G] twister and jewel, bamboozle and hoodwink
Do I can't say more, it would only confuse you
Whine, they will hobble, will go to your head
You'll start seeing double in fishes and [C] _
bread
_ _ _ _ _ [D#] Guaranteed, [D] guaranteed for a lifetime or [Bm] more
Guaranteed for this [A] world and the [C#m] next
_ [D] Guaranteed, guaranteed for [E] the world and its [F#] lover
Cherish this life [Am] as you won't [D] get another _ one
_ [D] Unless you should take up this fabulous [G] offer
Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
We'll be tight and it won't so we'll be gone
You will know your bonhorn's about to pass [C] _ on _ _
_ _ You'll [D] never get tired, [E] you'll [F#] never get bored
By [Bm] the way, I just [A] hope you're _ [D#] insured
And if [D] you're not satisfied, [E] if you want more
[Bm] We can always [E] provide an [Am] improved _ [D] _ overture
_ [D#] Guaranteed [D] at a price that [E] is almost [Bm] unbeatable
[E] This offer [Am] is _ [D] _ unrepeatable _ _
[D#] Your troubles [D] will vanish, your [E] tears will [Bm] dry
Your blessings [E] will just [A] multiply
_ [D#] Guaranteed at a price [E] that is almost [Bm] unbeatable
[E] This offer [Am] is _
_ _ [D] unrepeatable
_ _ [D#] Guaranteed, guaranteed to [E] bring fortune and [Bm] favor
A [E] riot of colors [A] and flavors
[C#m] _ [D] Guaranteed at a price that is [F#] almost unbeatable
[E] This offer [Am] is [D] _ _
unrepeatable
_ _ _ Would I lie to you?
Would I sell [F#] you?
Would [Bm] I just sign on [E] the line?
Could [Am] you _ possibly [D] _
write it _ _ _ in [G] black?
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [Gm] _ _ _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _