Chords for Tony Greene - "Dinky Winkenhofer's Baptism" - comedy bit - 2000

_ _ [G] One of my best friends in the whole [N] world _
_ _ _ is a gentleman by the name of Dinky Winkenhofer.
_ _ _ _ _ Dinky Winkenhofer, he lived in a little small community called Sardis.
What in the one highway run up through Sardis, Route 44,
and there's just hollers a-springin' off each side of the road.
And every different family lived in one of them hollers.
_ _ _ _ One afternoon, the church in which Dinky [B] went to got a new preacher.
_ The preacher was out on visitation, was driving up Highway 44,
looked over there in the pasture, and there was Dinky Winkenhofer,
[F] had a pair of [Eb] post hole diggers, and he was digging a hole.
The preacher looked over there in the field, and he thought,
I'm gonna [Eb] go over there and I'm gonna talk to that young man.
He turned up the holler and got out of his car, walked [F] across the field
as Dinky was up there [C] putting post in, putting barbed wire in
to keep his cattle in the field.
[Abm] The preacher walked up to him, stuck his hand out, he said,
Are you a [N] Christian?
Dinky said, No sir, I'm a Winkenhofer.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Preacher said, No son, are you lost?
Dinky said,
Oh no, I've lived in this holler all my life.
_ _ [D] _ Preacher said, Young man, what I was asking,
Are you ready for Resurrection [C] Day?
Dinky [F] said, When is it?
_ [Eb] Preacher said, Maybe today, and it just may be [N] tomorrow.
Dinky said, Well whatever you do, don't you tell Mary Lee,
because my wife will want to go both days. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Before Dinky Winkenhofer got saved, _ he was awful bad at drinking.
_ Dinky was, been out on Friday night [F] with some of the guys,
this was before he married Mary Lee McGillicuddy.
_ Dinky had been out doing things that godly people shouldn't do.
Of course, he wasn't godly then, he was a sinner.
He hadn't been saved yet, been out drinking.
Saturday morning, he still walked quiet over his Friday night rendezvous
that he had.
[Am] [Eb] And he stumbled up an old tiny baptism [Eb] they were having
on [N] Saturday afternoon.
He heard the choir singing, Shall We Gather at the River.
Dinky went stumbling over there, looked in the middle,
and saw the preacher standing right in the middle of the river
with his weight in chains.
_ Dinky just rolled up his preacher's legs and waited right out there in the water
right beside the preacher.
Preacher happened to look over and saw that Dinky was a bit intoxicated.
Preacher looked at him and he said, Young man,
[B] he said, Do you want to find the Lord?
_ Dinky said, Yeah.
[N] _ Preacher grabbed him and put him under the water for five seconds.
Pulled him back up out of the water.
He said, Dinky, have you found the Lord?
Dinky said, No, sir.
The preacher grabbed him, [E] put him under this time for 20 seconds.
Pulled him back up.
Dinky's just a gasping for air.
The preacher said, Dinky, have you found the Lord?
Dinky said, No.
[G] _ Preacher grabbed him one more time, this time put him under for 30 seconds.
Pulled him back out this time.
Dinky's eyes just bugged out and his lips done turned purple.
Preacher [Bb] said, Young man, have you found the [Dbm] Lord?
Dinky looked at him and said, No.
[F] Are you sure this is where he [N] fell in?
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