Chords for Top 10 Craziest Ozzy Osbourne Moments

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[B] _ _ _ _ [Eb] _ _ _ _
[F] What _ _ _ [N] _ _ _
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[Eb] _ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ _ [C] _ [Eb] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [Gb] a _ _ _ [Eb] _ fantastic [N] _ _
audience we had tonight. _ _ _ _ _
Washington power brokers, _ _ _ celebrities, _ _ Hollywood stars, _ _ _ Ozzy Osbourne. _ _ _ _
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You write in the book, let me read to you this quote, over the past 40 years I've been
loaded on booze, coke, [Gb] acid, quaaludes, glue, cough syrup, heroin, _ _ _ rohypnol, clonapin, vicodin
and too many other heavy duty substances to list.
On more than a few occasions I was on all of those at the same time.
So my first question, obvious one, how are you alive?
I don't know, it's a miracle.
Miracles do happen, don't they?
This [B] guy came up, he looked [Ab] like a _ _ haystack cow.
This guy had overalls on, had to be like 6'8", [Abm] _ [F] mountain man with a big ass beard [B] and
a whole nine yards.
[E] He had red lipstick on [B] and he just goes [Db] to Oz, he goes, Oz I love all [Gb] your records man,
I love you, you don't know how much I [B] love you.
And Oz is like, oh that's great.
[Db] He goes, [B] do you mind, [E] could you give me a kiss?
And [Gbm] Oz goes, _ [Eb] no, so it's like, no but Zach will.
[Gb] _ _ [A] _
_ I was legless with a bottle of [G] Courvoisier in my hand at 9 o'clock in the morning.
I wanted to take a pee, so I find this old wall and I've [C] got this green evening dress
on and I'm standing there [B] having a leak and [Em] _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _
this guy [G] goes mental, this [E] deputy marshal
or whatever, and I go, [A] there he is.
And I was dressed [G] in, more or less my wife's evening, [E] green evening, just [Am] urinating up
the fucking Alamo.
Ozzie [Em] sees a popsicle stick laying on the ground [E] and there's a long trail of [G] ants going
to it [E] and he gets down on his knees and he goes, _ shhhhh.
All these [Gb] snorting ants, one of the family drunk snorting ants [Em] on this thing, crazy stuff.
And we're like going, oh dude, that [Ab] dude's fucking crazy.
I drunk a bottle of [Dbm] cognac I think, and a load of other [E] crap.
And Sharon says to [G] me, I want you to go in there _ [B] and make an impression [Dbm] and throw these
doves in the air. _ _
[E] I says, yeah, I'll make an [G] impression.
And the bird [Bb] landed on Ozzie's knee [N] and he picked it up and put it in his mouth and ripped
its head off.
_ _ _ _ There was a little bit of blood dripping from _ his lip and I was quite horrified by it.
And there's all these smiling people going, _ _ _ this carcass was flapping around the table
and feathers were flying in the air and they were all like throwing up all over the place.
It was quite interesting to see these office people with the ties and the little puke
and things in the front of them. _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _ _
[Ab] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _
[N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ [B] _ _ Ants! _
[Ab] _ _ _ _ _ [Eb] _ _ _
Ants!
_ [N] Ozzie! _ _
Ozzie!
Ozzie!
Can you breathe?
I forgot the keys! _
Don't worry, just take one of the fucking bikes!
Ozzie, can you breathe?
_ _ Ants!
Ozzie! _
[F] _ _ Ozzie!
[Ab] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [Eb] _ _ [B] Someone get back and get an ambulance.
Get an ambulance to the house.
Get an ambulance to the house.
_ _ _ _ [Bb] _ _ _
_ _ _ [Bm] _ _ _ _
It's [Bb] not breathing for a while.
We came home from the restaurant.
_ _ I was downstairs, he was up.
Suddenly he [G] comes downstairs a couple of hours [N] later.
He's got his underpants on, I thought he was ready for bed and suddenly he just said, we've
made a decision and I'm like, we've?
_ _ _ Yes, and you've got to die.
And I'm like, okay, _ alright.
And so what did he do then?
He lunged on me and got me down to the floor and started strangling me.
How close did it get?
[A] _ _ _ Pretty damn close.
Pretty damn close.
And that was like someone putting a red hot poker through [Ab] the middle of my spine.
It was like, that was my worst. _
And still that didn't stop me.
Evidently threw an unconscious bat on the stage and he [Ab] thought it was a rubber bat,
whatever, and he picked it up and bit the head off.
And so I was going, dummy, it's real.
I'm going, [B] what? _ _
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_ [C] _ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _