Chords for Two and a Half Men: Archie Baldwin canta "Save The Orphans"

_ This event isn't televised, is it?
[Bb] No.
Hmm.
Well, I [Bbm] guess I only show the [Abm] important awards.
_ _ _ _ [Bb] _
Congratulations.
[Gb] You've just been elected tonight's designated driver.
[F] _ _ _
Come [Bb] on, just ignore her.
Ignore her?
It'd be easier to ignore blood in my urine.
Well, well, well.
Look who decided [E] to be a good sport.
Speaking of blood in [Bb] my urine, hey, Archie.
[F] Hey, I want to tell you people, this man has been a real [Ab] inspiration to me.
Oh, come on.
No, no, I mean it.
Whenever I'm struggling to write a jingle [Ab] and I feel like I'm not measuring up,
[C] I ask myself, how [Db] would Charlie Harper write this?
[N] And the answer always makes me feel better about my own work.
_ _ [Gb] Charlie, [F] aren't you going to introduce me?
Mom, Archie, Archie, [C] Mom.
You're [Eb] Charlie's mother?
[N] Oh, teenage pregnancy, no doubt.
_ _ How brave of you to keep him.
_ Well, aren't [Dbm] you adorable?
Mom, [D] Archie is nominated in the same [Ab] category as Charlie.
Oh, [Eb] well, I'll be rooting for you, Archie.
[Ab] _ _
[Bb] Okay, then, thanks for stopping by.
[Db] Good luck.
You deserve it this [Ab] year.
Thanks.
I mean, how many [Db] times can they snub you?
I don't really keep track.
[Eb] Seven. _ _
Seven years in [N] a row.
You say so.
Hey, stick around after the ceremony.
If I win, I'll let you hold my trophy.
_ [Ab] _
[Eb] Not to mention the little [N] statue they give me. _ _ _
_ _ [Bbm] Isn't the little statue the [N] trophy?
Just eat your chicken.
And now, before we present the Jingle of the Year award, we have a special treat.
Please tell me they're going to pass out guns.
Our very own seven-time award winner, here to perform his own nominated tune,
composed especially for the United Nations Save an Orphan Program.
Oh, God, orphans.
_ Archie Bowen!
Oh, goody.
_ [Bb] _ _ _ [Eb] This is for all the orphans [Bb] out there.
_ _ [Eb] _ _ [C] _ _
[Bb] There's no tree.
[Eb] At Christmas time.
[Bb] No pumpkin hollows.
No _ candles.
[Dm] On the birthday cake.
[F] No reason.
To believe.
_ [Eb] He works all day.
[Dm] In a cold, dark mine.
[Cm] His little lungs [Bb] filled with soup.
_ Her [Gm] mom is Kim [Dm] Jong's concubine.
Her [Cm] dad was killed by the Tauntaun [F] M'kut.
[Bb] Save the orphans. _ _
_ Save the orphans.
[Eb] _ [F] _ _
[Eb] Don't do it for me.
[Dm] Don't do it for [Cm] you.
Do it for little Kim Sung.
[F] And the boo.
Yeah, [Bb] save the orphans.
Come on, everybody.
[Eb] Save [Bb] the orphans.
They're tax [Eb] deductible.
_ [Bb] Save the orphans.
[Eb] Get them while they're still cute.
[Bb] Save the orphans.
Get them young, cute.
_ Save the orphans.
Woody Allen [Eb] can't marry them all.
[Bb] Save the orphans.
Some of them don't even have [Eb] parents.
[Bb] Save the orphans.
Get two, get one free.
_ Save the orphans.
[Eb] Universe Bank for scholarships.
[Bb] Save the orphans.
Save the [G] orphans.
_ _ [C] Save [Eb] the orphans.
[D] Enough!
_ Come on, it's catchy.
So [N] is