Chords for Women Lose Weight (feat. Slick Rick)

What a surprise, open your eyes, a woman advisor
The name of this [Bbm] entertainment is
Women Lose [Ebm] Weight
Our first years [Bbm] of marriage, everything was just [Ebm] great
But after two [Bbm] kids and the weight gain [Ebm] factors
Fact is, [Bbm] now she's completely [Ebm] unattractive
Look, facts, [Bbm] I don't mean to sound [Ebm] rude
I tell her nice, hit the [Bbm] gym and don't eat so much [Ebm] food But no
You're [Bbm] shallow, you need to run [Ebm] the course of [Bbm] unconditional love and so [Ebm] forth
But how?
If [Bbm] desire's not there, that's just a [Ebm] lame
And divorce is [Bbm] child support, alimony, [Ebm] payments
My [Bbm] unhappiness, I doubt, [Ebm] discouraged
So hurry for an [Bbm] easier way out this [Ebm] marriage
Meanwhile, my [Bbm] secretary, June, well [Ebm] groomed
When's she gonna leave your [Bbm] wife?
I tell her soon, mommy, [Ebm] soon, I assume
[Bbm] Or my destiny is [Ebm] blue
Interestingly, the [Bbm] only thing left for me to [Gb] do is to kill her
[Ab] What a surprise, now [Gb] open your eyes, a [Ab] woman advisor
[Ebm] I'm gonna have to kill her
[Bbm] Boss gets lost, but your [Ebm] boss gets the boss, babe
[Bbm] Send that ass right to the [Gb] wall, kill her
[Ab] What a surprise, now [Gb] open your eyes, a [Eb] woman advisor
[Ebm] I'm gonna have to kill her
[Bbm] Boss gets lost, but your [Ebm] boss gets the boss, babe
[Bbm] Send that ass right to the [Ebm] wall, kill her
My plans against those [Bbm] shenanigans kinda ran [Ebm] thin
Knowing nothing about [Bbm] poisoning, and I can't [Ebm] swim
Bad intentions, [Bbm] pump, might as well become [Ebm] numb
Cut alongs, all the [Bbm] obvious, robbery going [Ebm] wrong
But the catch is, [Bbm] do I have the nerve to [Ebm] dispatch this?
Who could I [Bbm] get to help me murder this [Ebm] fat chick?
[Bbm] Guess I'll have to play a dude [Ebm] robbing on Wednesday
The [Bbm] day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway, [Bb] long story [Eb] short, hit the side of a Chrysler
[Bb] Sent it clean over the [Eb] divider
You bastard, she [C] said, as the wreck went
Tumbling down the hill, I thought she has to be [Ebm] dead
Later on, get a [Bbm] call from a lieutenant on [Ebm] the walk
Leaping like a [Bbm] hawk, we need you at [Ebm] the morgue
[Bbm] So I selfishly [Ebm] pursued, boo-hoo
There was [Bbm] nothing else left for me to [Gb] do, I had to kill her
[Ab] What a surprise, now [Gb] open your eyes, a [Ab] woman advisor
Come on, y'all, you [Ebm] know I had to kill her
[Bbm] Boss, there's love, switch your [Ebm] boss, kiss your boss, kiss
[Bbm] Send her ass right to the [Gb] morgue Killed her
[Ab] What a surprise, now [Gb] open your eyes, a [Ab] woman advisor
[Ebm] I had to kill her
[Bbm] Boss, there's love, switch your boss, kiss your boss, kiss
Send her ass right to the morgue
So you mean to [Eb] tell me, officer, you don't have [Gb] no clue who did this to her?
[Db] No, sir, we don't [F] have no clues right now
This is terrible
What am I gonna tell the kids?
Pull yourself together, sir
I'm [Gb] so broken up inside, I [Db] just can't believe this I [Gb] understand
I'm sorry, _ [Db] _ [Ebm] but I can't suppose no good, this
We're gonna try, sir Please
[Bb] _ [Ebm] Screaming, who done took my [Bbm] heart?
I get shooken up a [Ebm] lot at the funeral
Though [Bbm] everyone was looking at me [Ebm] hard like I did it
[Bbm] Like I was the reason my [Ab] mate Slane murmuring
I heard he was displeased with her [Ebm] weight gain
While my [Bbm] secretary's sort of a [Ebm] sexy blonde can cook
[Bbm] All she does is order from [Ebm] restaurants
One of the [Bbm] sexy ones
I doubt could've [Ebm] dressed clothes not washed
[Eb] Proper and house look of S.A.C.
Talking to [Bb] detectives that was [Ab] waiting outside
I took a long [Bb] lunch break, date a wife, [Ab] died
My darned hair turned pale
And because of betrayal, they indicted me
[Bb] Gave me an impossible bail
[Ebm] Good fortune to [Bbm] anyone admiring the [Ebm] raw tent
Moral of the [Bbm] story is, desire is [Ebm] important
So watch your [Bbm] weight, it'll keep your mate smitten, it's a [C] given
Though looking back, I realize I [Gb] didn't have to kill her
[Ab] What a surprise, though
[Gb] Open your eyes, though
[Ab] Woman, it buys us
I [Ebm] didn't have to kill her
[Bbm] Boss does love, kitchen [Ebm] boss, keeps it blocked in
[Bbm] Then they'll ask right to the [Gb] wharf, shelter
[Ab] What a surprise, though
[Gb] Open your eyes, though
[Eb] Woman, it buys us
I [Ebm] didn't have to kill her
[Bbm] Boss does love, kitchen [Ebm] boss, keeps it blocked in
Then [Bbm] they'll ask right to the [Gb] wharf
Well, [Ab] there you have it
[Gb] Keep fish [Ab] trimmed, keep your marriages [Ebm] healthy
You know what I mean?
[Bbm] Small [Ebm] message from Moacheeba
[Bbm] And Slick Rick, the [Gb] ruler _
[Ab] _ _ [Gb] _ _ [Ab] _ _ [Ebm] Peace
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[Db] _ _ [Gb] _ _ [Db] _ _ [Ebm] _ _
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[Db] _ _ [Gb] _ _ [Db] _ _ [Ebm] _ _
[Eb] _ _ [Ebm] _ _ [Fm] _ _ [Gb] _ _
[Db] _ _ [Gb] _ _ [Db] _ _ [N] _ _