Chords for Captain HotKnives at Smugglers Festival 2013 'I Hate Babies'

about babies I feel really weird _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _ _
_ _ [Eb] _ _ _ [A] _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ [Gb] _ _ _ [Ebm] _ _
_ _ _ [Em] _ _ _ [G] _
seriously what about babies?
[E] if any of your moms come and say that my songs are out of order
so shit, you bastard
shit [A] _ _ _
_ _ I've just remembered I've set off without having enough of a drink
so I'm going to try and keep the song going and have a drink
so bear with me _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [E] _ _ _ [A] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ I hate babies, I fucking hate babies
I hate babies, I fucking hate babies
if one of your mates came round to your house
sat next to your missus, got one of her tits out
started to suck on the end of her tits
then pissed himself and shit himself
and threw up down her back
and smashed his fucking face in
you wouldn't invite him round again
you wouldn't even let him in
you wouldn't give him any more kets of mint
but babies get away with it because they're cute
but they're just leaving bastards in a rum pursuit
they've stolen all me friends, no one goes out anymore
everyone's sitting round on the front room floor going
oh, more important now we've got a baby
_ we're at home, we're doing a jigsaw now
for fuck's sake, you used to be my mate
I couldn't rely on you to drink heavily
until the morning with me
but now you've all got babies, you bastards
I hate babies, I fucking hate babies
I hate babies, I fucking sick of babies
now we need a scene back now and again
in a James Brown style, if I sing a line, you sing it [D] back
if you don't sing it back, I'll follow you home
I'll [A] get housing benefit claim on your spare room
it's best to sing back and leave me
[D] we'll try a quiet scene back now
because we're near the family field
so we don't want to upset anyone, we'll do a quiet scene [A] back
I hate babies, I fucking hate babies
I hate babies, I fucking sick of babies
babies can make as much noise as they want late at night
but not me, people bang on me wall
they bang on me floor, they bang on me door
they say shut up you fat alcoholic, manly, depressive
caring the community dickhead
and I shout back, fuck off mutt _ _ _
_ _ _ babies lives are just perfect and easy
and everyone indulges them even when they're being dickheads
no one ever tells them off, no one looks after them
the little bastards, everything's nice for them
they spend their lives lying on a bed
sucking on tits that are bigger than their head
now I'd like to do that with a bit more of my time
but because I'm not a baby, I'm not allowed that shit no more
it's not fair, if I go into Tesco's
and shit myself and piss myself and start to cry again
_ _ I'll just get sectioned again
_ it's not fair is it, you see what I'm saying
[D] it's age discrimination, one law for babies, one law for me
[D] and they're no use at all, how they come on now
everyone keeps on the lovely, how they bollock
little [A] sack of human excrement streaming over nothing
they can't skin up, they never chop a line out
they never get around in and pretty soon you'll find
that they're boring little bastards, till they can talk
and I've got no time for them, until they can walk
and even then they can walk to the corner shop and get me a switch
and shut the fuck up
so I need to get out of this song, I want to sing back
I want a chorus at the top of your voices, fuck the family feel
let's have it punk rock
and the single I know, haven't you seen it back yet?
I hate babies, I hate babies
I fucking hate babies, I fucking hate babies
I hate babies, I hate babies
I'm fucking sick of babies, I'm fucking sick of babies
you evil bastards
[Am] _ I've filmed all [A] that, that's going to social services
you dwarves are [D] enjoying it though aren't you
[D] that's the main thing, I'm doing it for the dwarf [A] community _ _ _