Chicago - Funny Honey Chords

_ A man's got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?
Of course he has.
Well, I come home from the garage and I see him climbing through the window.
Uh-huh.
With my wife, Roxy, laying there, sleeping like an angel.
Is that true, Mrs.
Hart?
I'm telling you, it's the God's honest truth.
My wife had nothing to do with it.
She wouldn't hurt a worm, not even a worm.
It wasn't until I fired the first shot she [F] even opened her eyes.
Boy, [A] she's some heavy sleeper.
I always said she could sleep through the St.
Patty's Day [F] Parade.
When I think of what would have happened if I went [A] out for a beer with the guys instead of coming straight home,
[F] it would make you sick even thinking about it.
[A] For her first number, Miss [F] Roxy Hart would like to sing a song of love and [A] devotion,
dedicated to her dear husband, Amos. _ _ _ _ _
Sometimes I'm right, [A] sometimes I'm wrong,
[F#m] but he doesn't care.
[A] He'll string along.
[D] He loves [Dm] me so, that funny [C#m] honey of [E] mine.
_ _ [B] _
_ _ [E] _ _ [A] _ Sometimes I'm down, sometimes I'm [F] up,
but [F#m] he follows round like [A] some droopy-eyed [D] pup.
He [Bm] [Dm] loves me so, that [A] funny honey of mine.
Like I said, even [C#] after I shot him, he kept coming at me, so [D#] I had to pull the trigger [F#m] again.
He ain't no sheik.
[G#]
That's no great physique.
And Lord [C#] knows he ain't got [F#m] the smarts.
_ [C#m] But look at that soul.
I tell you that hole is a whole [B] lot greater [E] than the sum of his parts.
_ _ _ And if you knew him like me, _ I know you'd agree.
_ _ [A] _ What if the world slandered my name?
[F#m] Why, he'd be right there, [A] taking the [D] blame.
He loves me [Dm] so, and it all suits [C#m] me _ fine. _
[E] _ _ [F#] _ [Bm] That funny, [C#m] sunny, _ [D] honey, _ [A] of _ mine.
I mean, suppose he had violated her or something.
[F#m] You know what I mean?
Violated?
I know what you mean.
Or [A] something.
Think how terrible that would have been.
[D] Good thing I got home from work on time.
I'm telling you that.
He loves me so, [B]
that funny honey [A] of mine.
Name of deceased, [C#] Fred Casely.
Fred Casely?
How [F#m] could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him.
He sold us our furniture.
_ [G#m] He gave us 10% off.
[G#] Lord [C#] knows he ain't got [F#m] the smarts.
She told me he was a [C#m] burglar.
You mean he was dead when you got home?
She had him covered in a [F#] sheet, and she's telling me some cock and bull story about [D] this burglar,
and [F#m] how I ought to [Bm] say I did it because I was sure to get [E] off.
Help me, Amos.
She says it's my goddamn hour.
Now he's shot off his trap.
[F] I can't stand that.
[A#] And I believe that.
That cheap little tramp.
So [Gm] she's two-timing me, huh?
Or I'm proof [A#]-protecting her now, so she can scream for all I care.
[D#] Boy, I'm down at the garage, working my butt off 14 [D#m] hours a day,
and she's up here munching on [Dm] bonbons and trapping around like some goddamn [F] floozy.
[F#] _ _ [G] That's yummy, [C] _
[D] _ [D#] crummy, yummy.
Help me, Allah.
_ _ [A#] [A#m] Boy, what a sap I was. _
You [N] double-crosser, you big blabbermouth.
You promised you'd stay.
What are you talking about?
You've been stringing me, Roxanne.
You told me he was a burglar the whole time [N] you've been up here