Diesel Dykes Chords by Kevin Bloody Wilson
Tempo:
76.875 bpm
Chords used:
E
A
B
G
Ab
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
The first time I ever did this song live was at a place in Australia called Yarra Wanker.
And I remember it so well because I didn't realise at the time but I'd upset somebody
in the audience over this song.
See, because I was backstage in my dressing room at the end of the show doing a little
bit of relaxing and I heard this [G] noise.
[N] I heard this noise outside my dressing room door so I zipped my fly back up and I went
to the door and I hid the chook in the shower recess.
[Eb]
Well I wasn't going to stick him back in the fridge.
Took me half an hour to thaw the little bastard out.
I went to the door, opened the door and here's this sheila out there.
She's belting shit out of both the security blokes we had.
Like, but not, again, with respect to the ladies here, not at all like you.
This was one of them fucking thunderous diesel dykes, you know.
Like if this one had been two inches taller she would have been perfectly round I reckon.
[Ab] You know the sort I'm talking about though with the short diesel dyke haircut, you know,
about four or five different colours through it and a dozen studs through the ears and
a stud in the nose, an armpit you couldn't cut back with a fucking whippersnipper.
And a tit hanging out each side of her bib and brace [N] overalls.
And not even tits worth perving on either though.
They're more like footy socks with a bit of sand in the bottom of the bar.
And she's out there belting shit out of both the security blokes.
When she looked up and saw me she said, you, you bastard.
So she's off after me and I'm skidding in shit trying to get back into me room.
Slam the door shut and hid under the table.
Next minute, crunch, the door come down off its hinges.
She's standing in the doorway.
Fair dinkum, she looked like a fucking Russian war memorial.
And I was trying to think of something nice to say to settle her down a bit, you know.
So I said, Jesus for a fat Sheila you don't sweat very much, eh?
She dragged me out from under the table, she's holding me up by the shirt.
Now what did she call me?
She said, you're nothing but a fat gutted beer swillin' neck a scratchin' nose pickin' yobbo ass off chauvinistic pig.
But that's alright because I can stand constructive criticism.
I said to her, lady, I says, how many chauvinist pigs does it take to clean a shit house?
She said, none, why the no?
I said, none at all, that's women's work, eh?
[E]
So the next time you [A] see a good looking Sheila [E] and you give her a week's [B] pay to hold her.
[E] Don't sit acting dumb, [A] just front her full on.
[B] Drop a few lines that [E] I've told ya.
This new method of mine, [A] might not work every time, [E] but then again there's no [B] method Will.
[E] I've been spat at and [A] slapped and kneed in the neck, [B] but then I've got a few fucks as well.
[E] Yobbo, do your [A] fucking work, mate.
Get [E] your dad out of the brewery.
Could [B] I feel your tits, please?
Or would [E] you show them to me?
If [A] the answer is no, to me questions are bow.
[E]
But then be a good sport [B] and give me the name of a [E] girlfriend who does.
[N] Amy London.
[F] [N]
Would you like some more?
Eh?
Well let's hear it then, for the little bloke, Kevin bloody Wilson.
Haven't you woken up to that yet?
When you come to the theatre they all do that.
I've learnt how to do it.
It's called a false encore.
See what happens, you get to a certain point in the show and you want everybody to think it's the finish.
So you walk off, right?
And you get really excited and go, more, more.
And you fucking fell for it.
They all do it.
Next time you come to the theatre, be prepared for the false encore.
So what happens, they'll walk off stage like I just did.
So you just sit there, fuck them.
[Ab] They'll shit themselves back there.
Then when they walk back on stage, tell them, fuck off!
[G]
I
And I remember it so well because I didn't realise at the time but I'd upset somebody
in the audience over this song.
See, because I was backstage in my dressing room at the end of the show doing a little
bit of relaxing and I heard this [G] noise.
[N] I heard this noise outside my dressing room door so I zipped my fly back up and I went
to the door and I hid the chook in the shower recess.
[Eb]
Well I wasn't going to stick him back in the fridge.
Took me half an hour to thaw the little bastard out.
I went to the door, opened the door and here's this sheila out there.
She's belting shit out of both the security blokes we had.
Like, but not, again, with respect to the ladies here, not at all like you.
This was one of them fucking thunderous diesel dykes, you know.
Like if this one had been two inches taller she would have been perfectly round I reckon.
[Ab] You know the sort I'm talking about though with the short diesel dyke haircut, you know,
about four or five different colours through it and a dozen studs through the ears and
a stud in the nose, an armpit you couldn't cut back with a fucking whippersnipper.
And a tit hanging out each side of her bib and brace [N] overalls.
And not even tits worth perving on either though.
They're more like footy socks with a bit of sand in the bottom of the bar.
And she's out there belting shit out of both the security blokes.
When she looked up and saw me she said, you, you bastard.
So she's off after me and I'm skidding in shit trying to get back into me room.
Slam the door shut and hid under the table.
Next minute, crunch, the door come down off its hinges.
She's standing in the doorway.
Fair dinkum, she looked like a fucking Russian war memorial.
And I was trying to think of something nice to say to settle her down a bit, you know.
So I said, Jesus for a fat Sheila you don't sweat very much, eh?
She dragged me out from under the table, she's holding me up by the shirt.
Now what did she call me?
She said, you're nothing but a fat gutted beer swillin' neck a scratchin' nose pickin' yobbo ass off chauvinistic pig.
But that's alright because I can stand constructive criticism.
I said to her, lady, I says, how many chauvinist pigs does it take to clean a shit house?
She said, none, why the no?
I said, none at all, that's women's work, eh?
[E]
So the next time you [A] see a good looking Sheila [E] and you give her a week's [B] pay to hold her.
[E] Don't sit acting dumb, [A] just front her full on.
[B] Drop a few lines that [E] I've told ya.
This new method of mine, [A] might not work every time, [E] but then again there's no [B] method Will.
[E] I've been spat at and [A] slapped and kneed in the neck, [B] but then I've got a few fucks as well.
[E] Yobbo, do your [A] fucking work, mate.
Get [E] your dad out of the brewery.
Could [B] I feel your tits, please?
Or would [E] you show them to me?
If [A] the answer is no, to me questions are bow.
[E]
But then be a good sport [B] and give me the name of a [E] girlfriend who does.
[N] Amy London.
[F] [N]
Would you like some more?
Eh?
Well let's hear it then, for the little bloke, Kevin bloody Wilson.
Haven't you woken up to that yet?
When you come to the theatre they all do that.
I've learnt how to do it.
It's called a false encore.
See what happens, you get to a certain point in the show and you want everybody to think it's the finish.
So you walk off, right?
And you get really excited and go, more, more.
And you fucking fell for it.
They all do it.
Next time you come to the theatre, be prepared for the false encore.
So what happens, they'll walk off stage like I just did.
So you just sit there, fuck them.
[Ab] They'll shit themselves back there.
Then when they walk back on stage, tell them, fuck off!
[G]
I
Key:
E
A
B
G
Ab
E
A
B
The first time I ever did this song live was at a place in Australia called Yarra Wanker.
And I remember it so well because I didn't realise at the time but I'd upset somebody
in the audience over this song.
See, because I was backstage in my dressing room at the end of the show doing a little
bit of relaxing and I heard this [G] noise.
_ _ [N] I heard this noise outside my dressing room door so I zipped my fly back up and I went
to the door and _ I hid the chook in the shower recess.
_ [Eb] _ _
Well I wasn't going to stick him back in the fridge.
Took me half an hour to thaw the little bastard out. _ _
_ I went to the door, opened the door and here's this sheila out there.
She's belting shit out of both the security blokes we had.
Like, but not, again, with respect to the ladies here, not at all like you.
This was one of them fucking thunderous diesel dykes, you know.
_ Like if this one had been two inches taller she would have been perfectly round I reckon.
_ _ [Ab] _ _ _ You know the sort I'm talking about though with the short diesel dyke haircut, you know,
about four or five different colours through it and a dozen studs through the ears and
a stud in the nose, an armpit you couldn't cut back with a fucking whippersnipper.
_ _ And a tit hanging out each side of her bib and brace [N] overalls.
And not even tits worth perving on either though.
They're more like footy socks with a bit of sand in the bottom of the bar. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ And she's out there belting shit out of both the security blokes.
When she looked up and saw me she said, you, you bastard.
So she's off after me and I'm skidding in shit trying to get back into me room.
Slam the door shut and hid under the table.
Next minute, crunch, the door come down off its hinges.
She's standing in the doorway.
Fair dinkum, she looked like a fucking Russian war memorial. _
And I was trying to think of something nice to say to settle her down a bit, you know.
So I said, Jesus for a fat Sheila you don't sweat very much, eh? _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ She dragged me out from under the table, she's holding me up by the shirt.
Now what did she call me?
She said, you're nothing but a fat gutted beer swillin' neck a scratchin' nose pickin' yobbo ass off chauvinistic pig.
But that's alright because I can stand constructive criticism.
I _ _ said to her, lady, I says, how many chauvinist pigs does it take to clean a shit house?
She said, none, why the no?
I said, none at all, that's women's work, eh?
[E] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ So the next time you [A] see a good looking Sheila [E] and you give her a week's [B] pay to hold her.
[E] Don't sit acting dumb, [A] just front her full on.
[B] Drop a few lines that [E] I've told ya.
This new method of mine, [A] might not work every time, [E] but then again there's no [B] method Will.
[E] I've been spat at and [A] slapped and kneed in the neck, [B] but then I've got a few fucks as well.
[E] Yobbo, do your [A] fucking work, mate.
Get [E] your dad out of the brewery.
Could [B] I feel your tits, please?
Or would [E] you show them to me?
If [A] the answer is no, to me questions are bow.
[E] _ _
But then be a good sport [B] and give me the name of a [E] girlfriend who does.
_ _ _ _ _ [N] Amy London.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ Would you like some more?
Eh?
Well let's hear it then, for the little bloke, Kevin bloody Wilson. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ Haven't you woken up to that yet?
When you come to the theatre they all do that.
I've learnt how to do it.
It's called a false encore.
See what happens, you get to a certain point in the show and you want everybody to think it's the finish.
So you walk off, right?
And you get really excited and go, more, more.
And you fucking fell for it. _ _ _ _ _ _
They all do it.
Next time you come to the theatre, be prepared for the false encore.
So what happens, they'll walk off stage like I just did.
So you just sit there, fuck them. _ _
[Ab] They'll shit themselves back there.
Then when they walk back on stage, tell them, fuck off!
_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ I
And I remember it so well because I didn't realise at the time but I'd upset somebody
in the audience over this song.
See, because I was backstage in my dressing room at the end of the show doing a little
bit of relaxing and I heard this [G] noise.
_ _ [N] I heard this noise outside my dressing room door so I zipped my fly back up and I went
to the door and _ I hid the chook in the shower recess.
_ [Eb] _ _
Well I wasn't going to stick him back in the fridge.
Took me half an hour to thaw the little bastard out. _ _
_ I went to the door, opened the door and here's this sheila out there.
She's belting shit out of both the security blokes we had.
Like, but not, again, with respect to the ladies here, not at all like you.
This was one of them fucking thunderous diesel dykes, you know.
_ Like if this one had been two inches taller she would have been perfectly round I reckon.
_ _ [Ab] _ _ _ You know the sort I'm talking about though with the short diesel dyke haircut, you know,
about four or five different colours through it and a dozen studs through the ears and
a stud in the nose, an armpit you couldn't cut back with a fucking whippersnipper.
_ _ And a tit hanging out each side of her bib and brace [N] overalls.
And not even tits worth perving on either though.
They're more like footy socks with a bit of sand in the bottom of the bar. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ And she's out there belting shit out of both the security blokes.
When she looked up and saw me she said, you, you bastard.
So she's off after me and I'm skidding in shit trying to get back into me room.
Slam the door shut and hid under the table.
Next minute, crunch, the door come down off its hinges.
She's standing in the doorway.
Fair dinkum, she looked like a fucking Russian war memorial. _
And I was trying to think of something nice to say to settle her down a bit, you know.
So I said, Jesus for a fat Sheila you don't sweat very much, eh? _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ She dragged me out from under the table, she's holding me up by the shirt.
Now what did she call me?
She said, you're nothing but a fat gutted beer swillin' neck a scratchin' nose pickin' yobbo ass off chauvinistic pig.
But that's alright because I can stand constructive criticism.
I _ _ said to her, lady, I says, how many chauvinist pigs does it take to clean a shit house?
She said, none, why the no?
I said, none at all, that's women's work, eh?
[E] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ So the next time you [A] see a good looking Sheila [E] and you give her a week's [B] pay to hold her.
[E] Don't sit acting dumb, [A] just front her full on.
[B] Drop a few lines that [E] I've told ya.
This new method of mine, [A] might not work every time, [E] but then again there's no [B] method Will.
[E] I've been spat at and [A] slapped and kneed in the neck, [B] but then I've got a few fucks as well.
[E] Yobbo, do your [A] fucking work, mate.
Get [E] your dad out of the brewery.
Could [B] I feel your tits, please?
Or would [E] you show them to me?
If [A] the answer is no, to me questions are bow.
[E] _ _
But then be a good sport [B] and give me the name of a [E] girlfriend who does.
_ _ _ _ _ [N] Amy London.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ Would you like some more?
Eh?
Well let's hear it then, for the little bloke, Kevin bloody Wilson. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ Haven't you woken up to that yet?
When you come to the theatre they all do that.
I've learnt how to do it.
It's called a false encore.
See what happens, you get to a certain point in the show and you want everybody to think it's the finish.
So you walk off, right?
And you get really excited and go, more, more.
And you fucking fell for it. _ _ _ _ _ _
They all do it.
Next time you come to the theatre, be prepared for the false encore.
So what happens, they'll walk off stage like I just did.
So you just sit there, fuck them. _ _
[Ab] They'll shit themselves back there.
Then when they walk back on stage, tell them, fuck off!
_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ I