Chords for Garnet Rogers~ 'Welcome to Hell' Live @ One Longfellow Square (January 13 2012)

five people you meet in heaven. _ _
And I have yet to read it.
Anybody of you know that?
Have you read it?
Is it any good? _ _ _
Yeah, you know, well, you've got a lot of differing opinion here. _
[F] I have not read [A] it.
_ _ So I figured it's not the information I'm going to need.
[E] _ _ _ _
[F#] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [D#] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ Really.
_ [E] _ _ _ [Em] _
_ _ [C] _ _ [D] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ [E] _ _ [F] _ _ [F#] _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ [F#] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
Well, you might have noticed the road's real bad.
[A] _
_ _ [E] _ Yeah, it's now really paved with good intentions.
We just flattened out some [Am] Wall Street guys.
_ [F]
And those [E] boys with their inventions [Am] like that Twitter and Facebook.
Man, you [F] _ people just [E] love to talk.
Let me make it clear, we're glad you're here.
_ [B] _ _
_ Let's you and me take a little walk. _
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [F] _
_ [E] _ Yeah, step into the elevator. _
[F] That's right, there's just [E] one button down.
Takes about a million [F] years to get here.
It's a [E] long way [A] underground.
_ Meet Michael Bolton and [F] Kenny G.
They'll be playing just [E] for you.
All of [A] your favorites like Little Drummer Boy.
_ _ [E] _ _ [A] Oh yeah, and that song [Em] from Titanic [F] too.
_ [B] _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _
[Bm] _ So [A] welcome to hell. _ _
[F] I got news for you, [E] pal, you're dead.
[A] We prepared a special place for you, the [F] coals are [E] nice and red.
We've been watching you your whole [F] life.
We heard every little word [E] you said.
_ [A] And I [C#] hope you're feeling rested. _
[F] _ _ [B] _ _ You got some busy days [Em] ahead.
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ [G] _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [F] _ _ [E] _ _ _
[G] Hot enough for you?
I love [A] that joke. _ _
[F] Yeah, we use that all the [E] time.
[A] Here's where we keep all those insurance guys [F] with their lawyers [E] and the [A] mimes.
We got a lot of you self [E]-righteous folk singers down here.
We got you for a song.
We got all [Em] those religious [C] fundamentalists.
_ _ [E] _ Yeah, [A] turns out they're all fundamentally [F] wrong.
_ [B] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _
[E] _ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ [E] _ Hey, Richard [Am] Nixon, Ronald Reagan, how you doing?
Good to [E] see ya. _ _
[A] Here's those tickets that we promised [F] you.
Seasons past and [E] Mamma Mia.
[A] We got sing-along sound of music for you [Am] down here.
Celine Dion [E] sings the lead [A] at the rap version.
_ I'm not [F] kidding, man, if that don't [E] make your ears bleed.
_ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ [Em] _ _ _ _
[F] _ _ [E] _ Yeah, [A] and CNN is on here all the time.
Fox News is [E] 24-7.
[A] _ _ We got [F] Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter down [E] here.
You don't get them [A] in heaven.
_ _ _ [Am] _ _
_ _ [E] Oh yeah, and [A] Rush Limbaugh teaches nude yoga.
Ain't that [F] boy some sight?
_ [E] _ _
And we send all [Am] our laundry down to the governor of [E] Arizona.
She's trying to [A] keep the world nice and white. _ _
[F] _ _ [E] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [D] _ [E] _ _ [A] _
We got all those Al-Qaeda [Em] bombers.
_ Man, they're [E] crazier than squirrels.
[A] _ _ _ We all got the promised [F] 72 [E] virgins.
Ha ha ha [A] ha, none of them were girls.
[F] _ _ [E] _ _ Yes, and Lorena Bobbitt is our Surgeon General.
She volunteers here at night.
She takes care of all those [A] murder, suicide husbands [F] and boyfriends
who [E] never could quite seem to get their order right.
_ _ [C] _ _ [E] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ [E] _
So welcome to hell. _ _ _
[C] Oh yeah, you could have been [E] a better guy.
You could have [A] loved your neighbor. _
Maybe [F] done some good, but [E] you never so much as [A] tried.
No point trying to bitch to me.
I [F] only work here, [E] son.
_ [B] You seem to feel you're being punished.
[F] _
_ [Bm] Yeah, you are.
[A] We're just trying to make it fun.
_ _ [F] _ _ _ [E] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _
_ [E] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Oh look, there [A] goes President Sarah Palin. _ _
_ _ _ [F] That's right, she's a maverick.
[E] She's a doll.
[A] And I hear she might be single these days.
Here's [F] her card she really wants you [E] to [A] call.
She's written over a hundred books now.
I'm not kidding, pal. [E] It's true. _ _
Required [A] reading, by the way.
[F] _ _ [Em] _
[E] Yeah, you gotta memorize them too. _ _
_ _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
_ [F] _ _ [B] _ _ _ [Am] _ _
Well, it's about time you met the big guy. _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ [D] Got yourself settled in [E] and such.
[A] It's the thing that makes him special.
It's the extra little [F] personal [Em] touch.
It's quite [A] literally a fireside chat.
[F] But he has with all [E] of you trainees,
[A]
there he is, Satan.
_ _ [F] Master of [E] flesh.
_ [A] _ [E] The great destroyer. _
[Fm] _ _ [A] _ _ _ Oh, that's really him.
_ _ [F] _ _ [E] _ Yeah, he just likes [A] to pretend he's Dick Cheney.
_ _ [F] _ _ [E] _
So [A] welcome to hell. _ _
[F] You're not gonna [E] like it here.
[A] Get your ass up on that barbecue, son.
We [F] only serve [E] American beer.
You could have lived a better life
and [F] maybe not been such a [E] jerk.
_ [A] You made your bed, quit your [F] whining. _ _
[E] _ _ [G] Here's your band, you'll get to [A] work. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [E] _
[A] Yeah, welcome to hell.
_ _ _ [F] _
_ [E] _ Mm [A]-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. _
_ [F] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [E] _ _ [F] _ _ [E] _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [F#] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ There's a lot of other verses
dealing with my prime minister,
but I figured I'd just do the ones _ that_
Do you want to talk about him?
_ Or her?
_ _ I could, you know, we could add some verses.
_ _ [N] _ _