Half Man Half Biscuit - Surging Out Of Convalescence Chords

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[C] _ Darts in soap [G] operas, oh so wrong, [C] oh so wrong, no one's scoring, [G] and there's too much chat
between [C] each stroke.
Less than this though [G] is when cheers are raised for [C] the bull.
Granted, bull's a girl, [G] bull's an out, but I know that they [F] don't know.
_ _ [G] _ _ Therefore, [F] _ I _ [G] _ propose _ [F] no _ _ [G] soap darts.
_ _ _ _ _ _ [C] Is your child [G] hyperactive or is he [C] perhaps a twat?
Sometimes I [G] like to watch wave rage down a visceral [C] beach.
Last Ash Wednesday I had tantric sex and it [C] was shit.
Next Ash Wednesday I [G] might strive to lick my [F] elbow.
Drive [G] in vain, _ [F] for _ [G] they say _ _ [F] you _ [G] succeed.
_ I _ _
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[C#] _ _ _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
[A] _ _ _ _ [D] _ rode to the Horsham [A] House to dart over what I'd [G] done.
I'd stored their magazine [A] in a data retrieval [D] system.
What they're facing, what are they going to [A] do?
It's not as if they know where I [G] live.
And anyway, I cut the [A] caper back in [D] 1984.
Heartbroken [A] matrons, on joyless beds, [G] for those whose [A] souls the eye has [D] entered.
And if I get to Heaven's [A] Gate, I'll doubtless have to [G] wait,
whilst each Peter [A] investigates the inevitable master and [D] chief.
Inside of an X [A]-ray scan table, tennis ball [G] smells much like [A] good and bad kids' soup.
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