Chords for If It Flies, Floats or Fucks

_ _ _ _ _ I found him sitting in a fold-out chair in the shade of [C] a palm near an old caravan, ten-foot
tinny beached up on the [D] sand, looked like [Gm] paradise to me.
[C] Then he offered me a homemade brew, like boiled bull ants with the kick of a [F] mule.
Then the story started [C] flowing and the truth come [G] through about life and [C] how he sees it.
He [F] said, I've had it [C] all and I've lost it [D] all and I'll give you some [Gm] advice for free.
[Em] _ [C] If it flies, floats or [F] fucks, rent it by the hour.
If you crack [C] a fat when you're standing looking [D] at it, back off and [G] think about it.
[C] Do you want to be paying this off for the rest of your [F] life or do you just want a [C] taste
of it now?
[F] So if it flies, [C] floats or [G] fucks, rent it [C] by the hour. _ _ _ _ _
See that cruiser out there on the horizon, son?
[F] Well, I had one [C] bigger than that.
[F] There's a crew of [C] four and chef and all [D] with a helicopter [G] on the back.
[C] And women, son, oh, fucking hell.
Don't blame me if you don't believe me.
[F] I'd fuck them [C] quicker than it'd take two blokes [G] to pull them out from [C] underneath me.
_ _ [F] Yeah, I've had it [C] all and I've lost it [D] all.
So this is how [G] I see it.
_ _ [C] If it flies, floats or [F] fucks, rent it [C] by the hour.
[F] If you crack a [C] fat when you're standing looking [D] at it, just back off and [G] think about it.
[C] Do you want to be paying this off for the rest of your life [F] or do you just want a [C] slice
of it now?
[F] So if it flies, [C] floats or [G] fucks, rent it [C] by the hour. _ _ _
_ _ Don't need no mansion on the hill no more.
I got me caravan [F] and who needs a [C] plane?
That's fucking insane.
[D] Don't plan on going [G] nowhere.
[C] And if I want to get high, I'll drink home brew and go fishing in me ten foot tub.
And women, I'm pretty much over them now.
[G] Just took one of them to fuck [C] it all up.
_ [A] _ [D] See, if you don't maintain an aeroplane, [G] it'll go [D] down on you.
[G] And if you don't [D] maintain a boat's the [E] same, it'll go down on [A] you too.
[D] But if you don't maintain that woman, [G] it'll work the other [D] way.
[G] She'll take what's [D] left and just fuck [A] off and never go down on you [D] again.
_ _ [G] Here I've had it all [D] and I've lost it [E] all and I wouldn't have it [A] any other way.
So if it flies, [D] floats or fucks, [G] rent it [D] by the hour.
[G] If you crack a fat [D] when you're standing looking at [E] it, step back and think [A] about it.
Do you want to be paying this off [D] for the rest of your life [G] or you just want a slice [D] of it now?
[G] So if it flies, floats [D] or fucks, [A] rent it by [D] the hour.
_ So if it flies, floats or fucks, [G]
rent it by [D] the hour.
[G] If you crack a fat [D] when you're standing looking at it, [E] back off and think [A] about it.
Do you want to be paying this off for [D] the rest of your life [G] or you just want a slice [D] of it now?
So [G] if it flies, floats [D] or fucks, [A]
rent it by [D] the hour.
_ Yeah, if [G] it flies, floats [D] or fucks, [A] rent it by [D] the hour. _ _ _ _
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