Chords for IRENE "GRANNY" RYAN sings "I'M A WOMAN" by Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller with ROY ROGERS & DALE EVANS

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_ _ _ _ _ [B] From Hollywood, the heart of the [Db] entertainment world,
[G] the Hollywood Palace!
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With your hosts, [G] Roy Rogers and Jay [F] Eleven,
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tonight's [Db] starry rider [D] will [Abm] return to the Hollywood [Dm] Palace
after this word from one of our sponsors.
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Thank you and good evening, folks.
We're very happy to be back with you here on the Hollywood [Bb] Palace.
And tonight we're going to be getting together
with some of the greatest country artists and entertainers.
We're going to have George Goble, Burl Ives,
Sonny James, Jeannie C.
Riley, and Irene Ryan.
And they're all just plain country folks.
Home spun, up with the chickens, down home kind of [N] people.
Of course, there's _ Irene Ryan,
who struck oil and moved to Beverly Hills.
Did you ever see the clothes she wears?
She's the only woman in the country with $2 million worth of rags. _ _
Irene's a big favorite at our house, so let's bring her out here.
Grandma Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies,
the sex symbol of Sun City.
Irene Ryan!
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_ [N] _ Welcome to the Hollywood Palace, Irene.
Thank you, Roy.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dale.
So good to have you.
It sure is nice to be here.
By dingies, if there's anything [Eb] I like, it's country and western music.
I like it so much that I thought maybe I'd get to see an old uncle [Bb] of mine here.
He loved country and western music, but I didn't get to [N] see him, Dale.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, he passed away.
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, he was an old man, 90 years old.
That's an old age, Roy.
Yes, that's a ripe old age. _
That's darn near rotten. _ _ _ _ _ _
I had a [D] fella too once that I used to go with.
He was a cowboy, Roy.
Is that right?
[Bb] Yeah.
We were engaged to be married.
Well.
We had to call it off, though, because we were incompatible.
Oh, that's terrible.
Incompatible?
Yeah.
See, he was bowlegged and I was not neither. _ _
Really?
Yeah. _ _ _ _
_ I guess it is kind of a funny picture when you tell it. _
_ _ We walked down the street together, we spelled okay. _
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Then there was my grandmother.
Oh, Dale and Roy, there's an old girl.
You should have known my old grandma.
She passed away at 110.
110?
_ But the baby lived.
_ _ _ _ _ You know, Irene, we're all fans of yours at our house,
but there's one thing everybody's curious about.
Just how old are you?
Oh, now, come on.
Well, I_
Oh, no, I was.
Let me put it this way.
I'm older than Shirley Temple, _
but I ain't quite ready for Medicare.
_ Well, I'll say this for you, Irene.
You're one grandma who knows where it's at.
Yeah.
But the trouble is, by the time I get there, it's gone. _
_ _ _ Okay, great. _
Sock it to them.
A _ [G] lot _ _ of people look [Dm] at me
and [E] wonder, what can that [Bb] thing be?
_ _ Is it fish [Gb] or fowl?
[F]
Trout or [Ebm] owl?
_ [Dm] [G] Vegetable or human?
[Dm] _
_ [Em] Well, [Dm] gals and guys,
[D] I'm gonna [Bb] put you wise.
[Dm] You're looking [G] at a woman. _ _
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_ [C] _ _ [F] _ _ _ _ [Gb] _
A _ _ [N] little girl, 44,
her parents are still hanging on the line.
[C] I can start your iron,
and you two dozen Levi's
before you can count from one to nine.
_ I can [Bb] scoop up a great big dipper
full [C] of schmaltz from the_
[N] throw it in the skillet,
go out and skin a rabbit and be back
[Eb] before it melts in the pan,
[F] because I'm a woman.
[Ab] _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ [F] _ _ [C] I'll [Bb] say it again.
_ _ _ Now, I can rub and scrub Jethro's boots
until they're shining like a dime,
suck [D] the peas, shoo the fleas,
and clean the outhouse at the same time.
[N] Get all dressed up,
go out and dance till 4 a [C].m.,
and then lay down [B] at 5,
jump up at 6,
and start all [Cm] over again.
[F] I'm a woman.
_ _ [Bb] _
O-M [C]-A-N.
_ [Gm] I'll say it again.
_ _ [C] _ [Bbm] Now, if you come to me sickly,
you know I'm gonna make you well.
_ [C] And [E] if you come to me all [F] hexed up,
you know I'm gonna break the spell.
[C] _ And if you're hungry,
[Bb] you know I'm gonna fill you full of grits.
[C] _ [N] And if you're dry,
I'll mix your corn liquor with sauerkraut juice.
Ain't that a blitz? _ _
With that kind of a drink,
you won't need a rocket to get to the moon. _
_ Because [F] I'm a woman.
_ _ [A] _
O-M [Bm]-A-N.
[C] _ I'll say it again.
[F] _ [C] Now, [Bb] I can stretch a greenback dollar bill
from here to [F] Kingdom Come.
_ [C] _ [E] Ten the stills pay my [C] bills
and still end up with some.
I got a $20 gold piece to prove what I just said.
_ I can make a dress out of a [Gm] feed bag,
and I can make a man out of jeans.
[F] Because I'm a woman. _ _
[Cm] O-M-A-N.
[C] _ [Bb] I'll say it again.
[C] _ [G] Because I'm a woman.
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O-M-A-N.
[C] _ That's all.
[Gb] Eat your heart out, Zsa Zsa.
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