Chords for Nardwuar vs. The Damned

[D] _ _ _ _ _ _ [F#] Who are you?
I have no idea.
You're Dave Vanian.
Dave!
That's, I thought I was Captain Sensible, but this man_
I'm Phil Collins, and, uh, buy my records, cause, um, need some hair restorer.
You're Captain Sensible of the Damned!
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much, [E] ladies and gentlemen.
Buy my records, I need the money.
_ [Cm] _ _ _ _ _ _ [Am] _
_ _ _ _ _ [Cm] Dave and Captain, it's great to [G] have you back.
Thanks for coming back.
Together again, grave disorder.
[F] _ _ Fuck off!
Yes, a brand new record!
[Em] A brand new record together.
Now, how [G#] long has it been there, Captain?
How long has it been, Captain, since you guys did an album together?
You got a brand new album.
How long has it been?
Out come the bananas!
Twelve years!
Out [B] come the bananas!
Twelve years of rocking.
Now, you were almost lost to the Misfits there, weren't you, Dave?
No.
[F] Did the Misfits approach you?
No. No?
_ Oh, yes, they did.
Oh, yes, they did.
Oh, yes, they did.
Tell us, Captain.
I've absolutely no idea.
No.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You're not afraid to say that word, are you, Captain Sensible?
Sex pistols, soon to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
How do you feel about that there, Captain Sensible?
I love them.
I think they're great.
God bless the sex pistols.
They're a bunch of wholesome blokes.
Why was Sid always chucking stuff at you?
Hey, Dave, why was Sid always chucking stuff at you?
Because he was fucking out of his mind on heroin.
What do you think?
Well, did he like you?
Come on, he must have liked you still, deep down.
Was it punk?
No.
When you look back at those days, the punk scene, you know, it looks as though it was a scene and everyone was, like, sort of, you know, getting on and all this stuff.
But like with most sort of things, there was, like, dreadful rivalries going [Fm] on.
We absolutely hated the Clash, and the Clash hated the pistols, and the [G] pistols hated Suzy and the Banshees.
It was [Dm] one of those sort of things.
I remember [G] _
they went round, the Clash went round to see Johnny Rotten one day because [N] he had slagged them off in a music paper.
And they all were, Joe walked out crying.
Was it Mick?
And they were all [Em] really upset.
And it wasn't like sort of everyone, like, sort of going, yeah, great to see you and all [A] this stuff.
[E] It's fine now.
_ _ _ _ _ [F] _ _
_ [E] _ [F#] _ [E] _ _ [D] _ _ [C] _
_ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
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_ _ [Em] _ _ _ [D] _ _ [G] _
At the [B] beginning of the interview, [E] you hauled out [D] some bananas.
Now, [Am] there's always bananas [N] around the band.
Are there going to be bananas on stage tonight, Dave?
And how have you avoided bananas?
And has the captain used ice cubes, too?
I always avoid anything that looks like a dangerous weapon, which is usually a banana.
Now, how come you've never slipped in any bananas?
I have.
What?
Now, Dave, please, tell us a bit about Dave's experience.
I ended up on my unceremonious rump many a time, sir.
Captain, what's going to happen with the bananas tonight and the ice cubes?
There's always bananas.
Up ass!
Ice cubes!
Up ass!
And other places, too, Captain.
You still got it.
[Em] You're Captain Sensible and Dave Ainey and Up the Dam.
Yeah!
[B] And you also got Pinch in the band, too, from the English Dogs, who's a shirtlifter.
_ _ Good God, he's not a shirtlifter, is he?
He's a shirtlifter.
Pinch is a shirtlifter.
He won't be the first.
We had that bloke out of Culture Club.
He was in the dam for five minutes.
John Moss.
John Moss.
Yeah, yeah, [A] yeah.
He was a shirtlifter.
[N] God bless him.
Nice bloke, though.
I said, Captain.
I said what?
I said, Captain.
What you want.
I said, Captain.
_ I said, Captain.
I said, Captain.
Oh, shit.
I nearly ran up on you.
[B] He said, Captain.
I said what?
[N] He said, Captain.
I said what?
Yeah, is there anything you can do with that banana there, Captain Sensible, of the dam for us you can examine or show? _ _ _
Um, [B] _ _ uh, ooh, that's pretty good.
That is pretty [F#] good.
Captain Sensible and Dave Ainey and [G] Up the Dam, thank you very much for giving me a face wash with a banana.
[N] Too bad you don't have any ice cubes there, Captain Sensible, from the rock.
I love cheese.
Oh, I love cheese.
I love cheese.
Can I rub my face in your face now, too?
Yeah.
Can I, can let me rub my face in your face? _
Oh!
Have cheese.
Oh, cheese.
I love cheese.
Thank you.
This is Dave Ainey and, and, oh, Dave never gets hit on, that's why I'm going to move my Dave right here,
because I don't think Dave ever gets hit with anything.
God bless you.
You are Captain, Captain.
It's only a game, so put up a real good fight.
Thank you.
I'm going to be snookering [G#] you tonight.
_ _ Buy my record, you_
Why should people care [E] about the Damned?
Why should people care?
If they like [F#] music.
They're better than Brittany.
_ [G#m] All right, thanks very much, and doot doodaloot [Em] do.
Doot [A] doot. _
_ _ _ _ [E] _ _ _ _
[F#m] _ [E] _ _ _ _ _ [F#m] _ [E] _
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_ _ _ _ _ Oh. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _