Chords for The Whole "Being Dead" Thing

[Gb] [Gbm] Hey folks, beggin' your [E] pardon!
[D] Excuse me, sorry to [Dbm] barge [B] in.
Now let's skip the tears and [Bb] start on [Gbm] the whole, [F] you know, [Db]
[Gbm] being dead thing.
You're doomed!
Enjoy the [E] singing, [D] the sword of Damocles is [B] swinging.
And if I hear your cell phone [Ebm] ringing, [C] I'll kill you [Ab] myself.
The whole being [Db] dead [Dm] thing!
Death can get a person [Gb] stressed.
[F] We should've [Gbm] carpe'd way more DMs, now we're [Ab] never gonna see [F] him.
I can show you what comes next, so don't [Db] be freaked.
Stay in [D] your seats.
I do this bullshit like eight times a week.
[Db] So just relax, you'll [Gbm] be fine.
Drink [Eb] your $50 [Dbm] wine and take [Gb] a breath.
[Db] Welcome to [Gb] a show about death! _
You're_
You're gonna be [E] _ _ [B] fine_
On the other side_
[Gb] You're [G] all gonna die!
[Gb] _ _ I'll be your [E] _ guide_
[B] To the other _ [D] side_
Oh, [Bm] and full disclosure, [Db] it's a show [Gbm] about death!
[Gm] Everybody gets on fine [Eb] here, like Roger's heart and Hammerstein [C] here.
The women's bathroom has no line [Gm] here, just be where you [A] want.
The whole [Gm] being dead thing!
You're just gonna love [F] the folks [Eb] here.
Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke [C] here.
In every show, I do like a ton of coke [A] here.
The [D] whole_
The whole [A] being dead [Gb] thing!
Nobody is [Cm] bulletproof!
[G] I [Dm] work out, I [Gm] eat clean, Jesus [F] passed the trail of meat.
[Eb] Time to face the brutal truth.
[D] Cause we're all on a hit [Gm] list.
Might not live till [D] Christmas.
Choke to death on Triscuit.
Hey, that's just statistics.
[Eb] So take a little break [Abm] here.
Kinda like a wake [F] here.
The [Gb] scenery is fake [Ab] here.
But there's [Gm] a giant snake here.
_ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ _ [D] Welcome [Em] to a show about death!
_ [Bbm]
[G] You're_
You're gonna be fine.
Thank [D] you!
[Gm] On the other side_
How you doing?
[Em] [G] Not good [Fm] enough! _
Hey, [Ab] I'll be your [Gb] guide [Bb] to the [Db] other [C] side!
[B] _ [Ab] Seriously though, this is a show [Bbm] about death.
It's taboo, [Eb] but it's fun, it's heart-rending,
[Bbm] There's something magical, from the [Eb] shittiest thing you can do.
So baby, [Fm] just feel you.
If you die while listening to this album,
It's still gonna keep [N] playing.
[Bbm] We're the best of your mates,
[Eb] Just a terrifying waste.
[Bbm] We're the people that you hate,
[Eb] And on a certain date, the [C] universe kills you. _
That's [D] the thing with life,
No one makes it [Bb] out alive.
[Ab]
[Gbm] Toss that body in the pit.
[Gm] Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?
Blah, blah, [Cm] Bible, Jesus, magic.
[Eb] When you're dead, who gives a shit?
[Gm] No Pilates, no more yoga.
Namaste, you frickin' [Eb] posers.
From the cradle to [Bb] cremation,
Death just needs [D] a little conversation.
I [Eb] have mastered [D] the arts,
[C] [D] I'm tearing [Eb] convention [D] apart.
[C] [D] So how [Eb] about we all [D] make a [Gm] start on [Ab] the fall?
_ _ [D] _
How you [Gm] doing?
You [Ab] think?
[Eb] _ [Dbm] [D] God, I [G] hope you're ready for a show about death! _ _ _ _ _