Chords for Wendy Bagwell

Plane started pulling in in Atlanta.
_ _ I'm down on the far end, and me and a guy are standing there looking away.
I said, is that our plane?
He said, yeah, it's coming this way.
I said, wow.
You know how the back of your bus gets when you break the oil line?
That's the way it looked around the motor zone, that thing.
That's budget.
And I said, what kind of plane is that?
He said he thought it was a FC-107.
I said, FC?
I never heard of that.
He said Fat Chance. _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[F#] _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ This is a fact, what I'm telling you with my hand up.
_ When I'm on fly in the morning, I don't ever eat breakfast.
Now, most people don't like the food on a plane, but I like the food on a plane.
It's surprising.
It's different.
_ I'm always amazed at what they can do with eggs.
_ _ They can get them in a little block like this.
They put something in there like meatloaf.
They put tartar sauce on it or something.
They make eggs.
So I'm always excited about eating.
This is a fact, what I'm telling you.
_ _ _ The lady came down, but I wasn't smelling nothing.
And I thought, man, I didn't eat breakfast.
I starve to death if I don't eat breakfast quick.
The lady came over and gave me some juice and two little crackers,
caramel flavored crackers about this big, like a Waverly cracker, you know.
And she laid them down, and I said, what's this?
She said, breakfast.
_ _ _ I said, at our church, we call it communion.
If _ _ [C] _ _ _
_ [Cm] _ _ [A#] _ _ [C#] _ _ _
_ [Dm] _ _ [C#] _ _ _ _ [B]
I had to die where I'm sitting, [N] _ this is a fact, what I'm telling you.
_ I said, well, I just didn't eat.
She said, we don't have time to serve breakfast on a flight from Atlanta to Louisville.
I said, well, you know you had time to bring me them two little crackers. _ _ _ _
_ You could have brought me a piece of fat back and a biscuit in the same amount of time.
[D#] I said, I'll tell you one thing, I'll eat before I leave here.
She said, well, we'll have food going home.
I told her I was coming back tonight.
She said, well, we'll have food going home.
She said that we'd get some pot of meat and onion on the way back.
_ _ _ From now on, before I agree with one of these things with Bill Traylor,
I'm going to find out if it's budget. _
[Am] _ _ _ [Dm] _ _ _ [Em] _ _
_ _ _ [Dm] We were singing at Heritage Hall [G]
in Lexington.
This is a few [N] weeks ago.
_ _ Heritage Hall.
_ On the program was a comedian called Carl _ _ Urie and Boots Randolph.
I never had played a program with them before,
so I tried to stand a little straighter and suck my stomach in, trying to look good. _ _
_ I went up on the stage, stage pretty much like this right here,
curtain pretty much like this right here.
I come up on that side, and this guy was reading off things about us.
I stopped right there on the edge, and Geraldine and Jan was on the steps.
The curtain just like that right there.
Well, always there's a rail _ back at the back of the stage.
Always. _ _ _ _ _
_ I had my guitar on.
I don't want to pull myself loose here.
They got me wired.
I had my guitar on.
The guy was taking a little bit of time, so I just kept going back into that curtain and landed.
_ _ Every part of my body landed at the same time back at that stage.
Well, all the people, the thing was sold out.
All the people saw me.
All the bright lights was on.
The guy was over here.
He didn't see me, the emcee, but they saw me.
All together, they went, ooh.
_ _ _ _ Well, when I landed, _ see how crooked that finger is?
I tried to grab it. _ _ _ _ _
_ My finger's broke.
Don't buy it. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ I tried to grab the curtain, _ _ but I just got these three fingers sprung.
I broke my middle finger.
Ask anybody.
But I hit the floor solid on my back, knocked every ounce of breath out of me.
Well, I'm struggling.
Geraldine's screaming.
You know how she gets.
She starts, oh, oh.
Little Jan, they run down off the stage.
I said, go on the stage.
Go on the stage.
See, he's bringing us on. _
And there's some pretty girls back there.
It was on the program.
I heard one of them say, see, I was trying to get up.
I wasn't hurt, really.
I fall a lot. _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ But the breath was knocked out.
If you've ever had it knocked out of you, you don't do much.
_ So I'm trying to get up.
You know, I just can't breathe.
I'm trying to get up.
And one of them real pretty girls, real, real, real pretty, said, oh, I'm scared he's broke his hip. _ _
That's what you say about old people. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _