Chords for Denis Leary - Asshole (Official Uncensored Version)

_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [D] _ _ _ _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ [Gm] _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ [Dm] _
_ _ [G] _ _ _ [Gm] _
_ _ [D] _ _ _ [Am] _
_ _ _ [G] _ _ [Gm] _
_ _ [D] _ Folks, _ I'd [G] like to sing a song [Gm] about the American [D] dream.
_ About me.
_ [G] About you. _
[Gm] _ [D] About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom [Gm] of our chests.
_ [D] _ About that special feeling we get [G] in the cockles of our [Gm] hearts.
[D] Maybe below the cockles.
Maybe in the sub [G]-cockle area. _
[D] Maybe in the liver.
_ Maybe in the kidneys.
[G] _ [E] Maybe even in the colon.
[D] _ We don't know.
_ _ [G] _ _ _
[Gm] _ _ [D] _ I'm just a regular [G] Joe [Gm]
with a [D] regular job.
I'm your [G] average white _
_ [D] _ suburbanites love.
I like football [G] and porno and [E] books [D] about war.
I [Am] got an [G] average _ house [Gm] with a nice [D] hardwood floor.
[Am] My wife and [G] my [Gm] job.
My kids [D] and my car.
Muff feet on my table. _
And a Cuban _ cigar.
_ _ _ [G] _ _ _
[Gm] _ _ [D] But sometimes that just [G] ain't enough [Gm] to keep a [D] man like me interested.
[C] Oh no.
[G] No way.
[E] Uh uh.
[D] No I've gotta [C] go out and [G] have fun [E] at someone else's [D] _ expense.
Oh yeah.
[G] Yeah yeah.
Yeah yeah yeah.
[D] I drive really slow [G] in the ultra [E]-fast lane [D] while people _ behind me are [G] going _ [E] insane.
[D] And I'm on a Seoul _ Yo [G]-yo. _
[Gm] _ _ _ [D] I'm on a Seoul _ Yo-yo.
[G] _ _
_ [Gm] _ [D] I use public toilets.
[G] And I piss on [Gm] the seat.
[D] I walk around in the summertime [Gm] saying, how about this [D] heat?
I'm on a Seoul Yo [G] _ _
[Bb]-yo.
_ [D] I'm on a Seoul Yo _ _ [G] _ _
[Gm] _ -yo.
_ [D] Sometimes I bark [G] in _ [Gm] handicapped spaces, [D] while handicapped people [G] make handicapped [Gm] faces.
[D] I'm an asshole, he's an asshole, [G] I'm an asshole, [Bb] he's an asshole, [D] _ _
he's an asshole, [G] he's an asshole. _
[Gm] _ _ _ [Em] _ Maybe I shouldn't be singing [A]
this song, [Em] _ ranting and raving and carrying [A] on.
_ [Em] _ Maybe they're right when [A] they tell me I'm _ _ wrong. _
[G] _ _ _ [Gbm] _ _ _
[Am] _ Nah, [D] I'm an asshole, _ _ [G] he's an asshole, [Bb] he's an asshole, [D] he's an asshole, he's an asshole, _ _ [G] he's an asshole. _
[Gm] _ _ [D] You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get [G] myself a _ 1967 Cadillac [D] Eldorado convertible.
Hot pink, [G] with a whale [E] skin, a huff cap, [D] an all leather cow interior [G] and big brown baby [Gm] seal eyes for [D] headlights.
Yeah!
And I'm gonna drive around in that [G] baby at [Gm] 115 miles [D] per hour, getting one mile per gallon,
sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers.
[G] And when I'm done sucking down those three small [D] burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American [Gm] flag,
and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers [D] right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing [G] anybody can do [Gm] about it.
You know [D] why?
Because we got the bomb.
That's why.
[G] Two words.
[E] Nuclear fucking [D] weapons, okay? _
Russia, Germany, [G] Romania, they can have [D] all the democracy they want, they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square,
and it won't make a lick of difference because we got the bombs, [G] okay?
John Wayne's not dead, [D] he's frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for [G] cancer, we're gonna thaw out that [Gm] duke, and he's gonna [D] be pretty pissed off.
You know why?
If you're ever taking a [G] cold shower, we'll multiply [Gm] that by [D] 15 million times, that's how pissed off that duke's gonna be.
[G] I'm gonna get the duke, and John gets medis, and [D] Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a [G] case of whiskey, and [Gm] drive down to Texas,
and say, [D] you know, you really are an asshole.
Why don't you just [G] shut up and sing the song, [Gm] pal?
[D] I'm an asshole!
The _ [G] only asshole! _
[Bb] _ [D] I'm an asshole!
The only thing [G] that's _ _
[D] asshole!
A-S-S [G]-H-O [D]-L-E, everybody!
A-S-S [G]-H-O [Gm]-L-E!
[D] A-S-S-H-O [G]-L-E!
_ _ [D] _
_ _ A-S-S-H [G]-O-L [D]-E! _ _
_ A _ -S-S-H-O-L-E!
_ _ _ _ _
I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _