Chords for I Ain't As Sexy As I Used To Be (funny original country song)

[A] _ _ [Dm] _ _ _ _ [B] _ _
[A] _ _ [F] _ _ [E] _ _ [D] _ _
[C#] _ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I saw her standing at the other [G] end of the bar that [Em] I [G] was drinking in.
[D] I walked on over and said, I saw you, dick, [G] I saw you looking at my fine [D] physique.
And I know just how to turn you [G] on, I can make you happy.
All night long she [D] looked at me and said, you're out of your mind.
[G] I might be drunk, but I sure ain't blind.
[D] I turned around and went back to my stool.
[G] I sat there feeling like a silly old fool.
[D] I thought to myself, what happened to me?
I ain't as sexy [A] as I used [D] to be. _ _ _
_ I used to be quite a ladies man [G] with big biceps and a golden [D] tan.
My waist was trim and I had a full head of hair.
[G] I looked damn hot in my _ underwear.
[D] Now I sit on my big fat [G] ass, drinking beer and passing gas.
[D] I wear bifocals so that I can't see.
I ain't as sexy [A] as I used [D] to be.
_ _ _ [A] _
_ _ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [F] _ [Bm] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [F] _ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[A] _ [B] _ [D] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ I wear big old shorts from a dirty old [G] pile.
Got varicose veins and a back of stained smile.
[D] I'm looking old, damn what I've [G] heard.
My legs look like they belong in that bird.
[D] I wish I could find me a time machine.
[G] _ Take me back to being young and [D] lean.
I miss those days when girls liked me.
Now I ain't as sexy [A] as I used [D] to be. _ _ _
_ _ _ I ain't seen my willy in years.
I [G] have little bushes growing out of my ears.
[D] I no longer get women for free.
I ain't as sexy [A] as I used to [D] be. _ _ _
My oh my, what happened to me?
I ain't as sexy [A] as I used [D] to be. _
_ _ _ [F] _ [E] _ _ [D] _ _