Chords for KOTD - Hollohan - My Lost Love & Addiction (RIP Bruce B)

_ _ _ _ You know, recently man, I hit the lowest [Gm] point in my fucking life.
I became [B] consumed entirely and went [Am] completely fucking insane.
[Dm] And so I figured what else to do but to write about it, let it inspire me a bit.
So that's what I did, and now I got something to say.
_ Yo, this is my [Dm] real life, straight verses, no fucking [F] chorus, so come explore it.
Love me for it or judge me for [Dm] it.
I'm laid in bed, flicking [Am] smokes in an open piss bottle.
I drop like 20 pounds in a week, going through [Dm] withdrawals.
I always said addiction's a fraud, the weak.
[F] Obviously my addiction, it was stronger than me, cause [Dm] man I hit rock bottom heavy.
Fucking heard my mother say she found me convulsed [Am] and it held me in [Dm] her arms.
My love left me at my worst point, failed when I fell.
[F] Last words to me, I should be ashamed of [Dm] myself.
That last week in my demise, the damn needles, I took a thousand.
Would you have come to my [Am] funeral and put [Dm] me down then?
I almost died multiple times in a week.
So [F] how could you live with yourself when you're trying to [Dm] sleep?
Cause no one could be so close to dying, [Am] lying in peace.
Would you still just think of yourself if I was [Dm] deceased?
And yeah, I got aggressive in my blacked out state.
And I ain't saying now that that's okay, we were so in love romantically.
You've refused to give me another chance, then what happened to your best [Am] quality, [Dm] being understanding?
I love you, yet you're hating me.
You crush me, then [F] it bugs you, people judge you [Dm] for dating me.
Now it's no forgiveness for a past I'd have shown to women with you.
You know it's different, [Am] you should stick to [Dm] your own opinion.
Our only time together on house arrest, I hate this shit.
[F] There's supposed to be so much more to this [D] relationship.
Can't even look in a fucking mirror to see my face in it.
I sat in a dark with a knife [Am] to my throat.
[Dm] Craziness.
And still, you would try [F] to mess with me.
You really wanna push it with my suicidal tendencies?
If I died, would you cry?
Why you and I enemies?
I press my palms into my eyes and [Am] picture you beside [Dm] me endlessly.
You hated my female fans, so you [F] were jealous fucking.
You're the first I've ever trusted, therefore [Dm] fell in love with.
You're perfect, I was just [Am] addicted to this hellish substance.
You are correct though, I am [Dm] completely self-destructive.
And I'm sorry it never happened [F] again.
My mind's gone for that span of time, don't know what was happening [Dm] then.
If I was that crazy baby, I'd [Am] be glad it was dead.
I'm sorry you said you felt like you'd never see your family [Dm] again.
And I don't blame you.
You were great, you should be proud.
What I [F] was going through was insane, you [Dm] could put me down.
Exes that I roomed and crushed are called to see I'm moving up.
When you ain't even asked [Am] me how I'm fucking [Dm] you at once.
And I hear what you're saying, close ear to ground.
[F] When I needed you most, you know where to be found.
If you really were my girl, you would have been [Dm] supportive.
But true love is true love, [Am] you shouldn't have to [Dm] force it.
Cause I believe in you, my heart fucking bleeds for [F] you.
Where the fuck is your presence when I really [Dm] fucking needed you?
Towards the end brother, I moved my soul.
I am embarrassed you were there to see me lose control.
So were you the love of my life or just some stupid hoe?
I guess now you're just some buddy that I used to know.
For now, but I will be back.
And I am across the country better in my life.
I transferred my conditions here and you know I'm better in my life.
And don't let people get inside your head and convince you.
Cause I'm such a fucking terrible person.
That I must have been terrible to you and tricked you.
You know me as an amazing man, cause that's exactly what I was to you, straight [F] up.
I love you, I miss you, and now the [Dm] whole world knows I'm sorry.
_ And this one's for my dog man.
Yo, as an ex addict Bruce, when I asked you, you just cleaned as a judge.
No reason [F] for drugs and surrounded yourself with people you [Dm] love.
When we first started to flick, yeah we partied a bit.
Who knew we'd reach that point where it'd be harder [Am] and harder to [Dm] quit.
The first night I met your brother, keys were playing with me.
The kid right [F] there buying bot, he was smooth, I was dangerous, see.
The genius on [Dm] drugs, so cool, you was hanging with me.
[Am] He didn't know that I influenced you negatively.
[Dm]
So when he seen us chilling, we was kings, he was proud.
It breaks [F] my heart to think of what he probably thinks of me [Dm] now.
So with this I'm just reflecting, I'm constantly recollecting.
I got a younger brother [Am] too, Bruce, but you never met him.
And he seen my darkness and I don't got any good left.
[F] But even then he still wanna be following in my footsteps.
And I betrayed him [Dm] all, people who loved me to my core.
My sisters always had my back, [Am] she doesn't [Dm] anymore.
So I look at my arm and the marks of needle penetration.
Cause the [F] people who fucking love me can leave them [Dm] devastated.
I guess we both got worse when you was out of control.
But then I was sitting in prison bro, [Am] so how could I [Dm] know?
And going through withdrawals in a prison cell, living hell.
I [F] know that feeling of pain when you really wish you could [Dm] kill yourself.
I accepted it happened, [Am] be there a long time.
They say every dog gets his day, I guess [Dm] I got mine.
I hit my house arrest bail, lucky I [F] know.
When we spoke some time later, it's been crushing my [Dm] soul.
I love you Harlow, Bruce, I always got love for you bro.
That was the last thing I said as I [Am] fucking hung up the [Dm] phone.
Found out the next day, your rags [F] smashed the walls.
25's too young for a fucking [Dm] man to fall.
I wish I said something more when you had a call.
A fucking hour later and you were dead in a bathroom stall.
Why do we just enjoy it?
Why do we love the poison?
[F] You should've went under the throne bro, not a fucking toilet.
My blood is boiling at the [Am] thought of it Bruce.
You give yourself too much credit for how your tolerance [Dm] grew.
Were you feeling low on life and needed that confidence [F] boost?
I'll take lives in your name if you say it's what you wanted to do.
[Dm] And I never understood, but had the reason I knew.
Cause I was a needle or two away from [Am] being with you.
[Dm] And I'm sorry for the times that I was freaking out when [F] you were with me.
Especially that time I lost my mind while driving through the city.
I wanted to honor your memory and swear I was shooting quickly.
A [Am] year passed, still doing the same shit.
Bruce forgive me.
I almost had my body in the [F] soft dirt.
I swore I'd get better, but homie I got a [Dm] lot worse.
And I was in that same weed place [Am] so I couldn't fight for you.
At your memorial, I had the same shit that took your [Dm] life from you.
I guess your father blamed me to people at the bar.
I [F] didn't hear it directly, it's like I seen it from afar.
[Dm] I told what I did, it was something that I needed from his car.
I cried for you brother and stuck another needle in my arm.
I know I know it's fucked up ain't it?
[F] Friends don't know how to help so that subject [Dm] changes.
My parents is embarrassed is an understatement.
It's just amazing I can function with all the [Am] drugs I've taken.
[Dm] But yo, I'm gonna stop though Bruce.
I ain't ready to [F] die yet G.
Through your friendship and your death it's [Dm] inspired me.
I need to wake the fuck up now man.
Find my dreams, conquer goals.
Become everything [Am] we said we'd [Dm] try to be.
The tatty in names are the ribs of my side.
[F] Said I know I'll keep you close to my heart that fills me with pride.
And I [Dm] know I'm not responsible but I'm guilty inside.
Cause I know if you never met me Bruce you'd [Am] still be [Dm] alive.
_ _ Rest in peace to my fucking brother Bruce man.
[Dm] I know what I need to do now, straight up.
_ _ _ _ [Am] _ [Dm] _ _ _ _ [F] _ _ _ _ [N] _