Tip That Waitress Chords by Loudon Wainwright Iii

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ This is for Patty [Bm] and all the girls. _
_ _ _ _ _ _ [F#] _ [G] _
_ _ I'm [A] probably going to screw this up because I never sang it.
_ [D] _ _ _ _ [B] _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[D] _ _ She's been on her feet nearly half the damn night
[B] _ _ Bringing [Bm] you beverages in your late night bite _ _
[G] _ _ She remains cheerful when you're nasty and [A] tight
Makes change for a fifty in dim _ _
_ [D] candlelight
_ _ _ Ignoring the groping, hoping you [Bm] _ might
Come across with a tip and _ _ sympathize [F#] with her [G] _ _ _ _ [F#] light
_ [A] _ _ _ Tipped [D] out a wet _ [B] dress
_ _ [A] _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ She's getting her master's, supporting her mom
_ [Bm]
Amidst the confusion, she remains cool and calm
_ _ [G] _ _ She knows exits in case of a fire or [F#] a bomb
_ [A] _ She knows all the words to the _ 23rd [D] _ Psalm _
She handles her tray with panache and a plum
[Bm] _ Her brother's a Quaker, _ _ [B] her dad was [G] a _ _ _ _ [F#] nun
[A] _ _
_ _ Tipped [D] out a wet dress
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [F#m] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [D] She's been waiting on you _ _ _ _ _
_ [F#m] _ _ _ Skipped a small _ change
_ Slapped [A] down a _ dollar or two _ _
_ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _
Her arches are ick and her lower back's shot
[Bm] _ Her varicose vein hurts like hell when it's hot
[F#] _ _ [G] _
The uniform's too tight, _ tasteful [A] it's not
_ She knows the specials and they are not a _ lot
[D] _
The cook is on _ quaaludes, the busboy deals [Bm] pot _ _
If she had a real job, [F#m] she'd quit on [G] the spot
_ [A] _ _ _
_ _ _ So tipped that [D] wet dress
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ _ [Bm] _ _
[D] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[Bm] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ [B] _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [D] _ _ _ [Bm] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ _ _ [D] _ _
This plea for gratuity's gone on way too [Bm] long
There's a time and a place there and then things [G] belong
_ A stage and a soapbox, this [F#m] is only a [A] song
To dwell on the matter much more would be [D] wrong
_ _ People get by, she'll get _ [Bm] along
_ But I think she gets off [B] when I come _ on [G] _ _ strong
[A] _ _
So _ _ tipped [D] that wet dress _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [F#m] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ [D] _ She's been waiting on _ you _ _
_ [F#m] _ _ _ Skipped a small _ change
Slapped down [A] a five or a two _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ She's been on her feet nearly half the damn _ _ [Bm]
night
Bringing you beverage and your late night _ bite
_ [G] _ She remains cheerful when you're nasty and _ [A] tight
Makes change for a fifty in dim _ _ _ _ [D] candlelight _
_ Ignoring the groping, hoping you might
_ [Bm] Come across with a tip and _ _ sympathize
_ [G] _
Apply
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _
_ Tipped that [D] wet dress _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [F#m] _
_ [G] _ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ _ [F#m] _ _ _ [D] _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _