Chords for marty robbins tribute- el paso- hilarious parody

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[C] _ _ _ [Dm] _ _ _
[C] _ [G] _ _ [B] _ _ [C] _
_ _ [Am] _ [C] _ Down in the South [Dm] Texas streets of Laredo, [G]
I fell in love with a sweet [C] Texan girl.
[Am] _ [F] _ [C] _ Late in the night [Dm] after downing some stiff [G] ones, she looked me over and gave me [C] a whirl. _ _
_ _ [Em] Blacker than coal [Dm] were the eyes of Christina, [G] they matched the eye shadow [C] and lip line she wore. _ _ _
Her blouse was [Em] a see-through and [Dm] sequined with [G] rhinestones.
Her skirt she bought straight off the rack from [C] some store.
_ _ _ [Fm] We [F] partied hard until the morning light, then we awoke way [C] past _ noon.
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ I told her I loved her and she said whatever, then we proceeded to lay [F] back and spoon.
[G] But the spell was [Cm] cast too soon, I [Em] went back down [Dm] to Josie's [G] Casino.
There was my lover with a bottle [C] of gin.
_ _ _ There [Gm] by her side [Dm] was a handsome young stranger, [G]
startled she turned and said [C] something to [Em] him.
_ [F] _ [C] [F] Now who was this stranger and what did he want with my Christina and what did [C] he _ _ [Gm] hear?
_ _ _ _ [C] _
_ To say I was angry and just a bit jealous is the [F] understatement of the year.
So [G] I socked him [Em] hard and the deer could have shot him, [Dm] but I had no pistol.
[G] I'm not a believer in [C] owning a _ gun.
_ So [Em] I did the next best thing [Dm] that I could think of, [G] I grabbed their bottle and started [C] to run. _
_ Out through the doorway [Dm] of Josie's Casino, [G] over the sidewalk and [C] into the street. _ _ _ _
Into the alley and [Dm] onto the [G] highway, over the bridge I was fast [C] on my feet.
[G] _ [C] _ _ Then [G] I jumped into [Dm] the icy cold river, [G]
dropping the bottle [C] I started to swim. _
_ _ The current was strong pulling [Dm] me back to [G] Josie's, back to a much dreaded showdown [C] with [G] them.
_ [C] _
_ [F] What will I do when I see them again?
It will [C] be embarrassing.
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ What claim have I to the heart [A] of Christina [G] just after a one [F]-nighter fling?
[Em] I had to think fast of something I climbed out of [Dm] the icy cold river, [G] made for the pawn shop that's just [C] down the street. _ _ _
Behind [Em] the [Dm] counter were two sets of [G] earrings, one of real diamonds, the other _
_ [C] CZs.
[Em] _ I asked the shopkeep [Dm] how much for the diamonds, [G] he told me the price and then I [C] nearly died.
[C] _ _ Well I'll take [Em] the [Dm] CZs, at least they won't break [G] me, I'll tell her they're diamonds, just a little [C] white lie. _ _ _
_ [F] So I hand the shopkeeper my MasterCard, he asks me [C] credit or _ debit.
[Gm] _ _ _
_ _ [C] _ _ I said it don't matter, I'll pay it off somehow, what matters is Christina's heart I must [G] get.
I had a handkerchief and a towel [C] since I was still [G] wet, I went back down to [Dm] Josie's casino, [G] they're still sitting there with a fresh jug [C] of gin. _ _ _
_ I [Em] nervously shuffled [Dm] on towards their table, [G] they did not notice me when [C] I came in. _ _
So I cleared [Em] my throat [Dm] and I started to [G] laugh, hiding my nervousness maybe [C] too well.
_ _ _ They [Em] looked at me with [Dm] a puzzled expression, she told [A] me in uncertain terms [C] go to hell. _
_ _ I told her [G] I'd been [Dm] there, it's not such a bad [G] place compared to the pain of a big broken [C] heart. _ _
But I bring you [Em] some diamonds [Dm] like stars from the [G] heavens, jewelry from Rodeo Drive's [C] finest bar. _ _ _
She grabbed [F] the package and opened it fast, using her razor [C] sharp _ _
_ [Gm] _ _ _ _ _
[C] fingernails.
Said you're such a bad boy, I think you're a good boy, impress her with jewelry, it never [F] failed.
[G] But the gin had [C] her off the rails and she [Dm] turns to her handsome young stranger, [G] my brother I think I have found me [C] my man. _ _
You better [G] get [Dm] going and leave us alone [G] now, take care of that ear and please [C] say hi to mom.
_ _ _ And turning [G] to me she [D] says thanks for the [G] diamonds, I've only had nothing but [C] CZs before. _ _
_ _ [Em] I fondly look back [D] and remember [G] Christina, just wearing those earrings and [F] that's all she [C] wore.
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