Chords for Ray Stevens - The Camping Trip (Original)

_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ Last summer I thought for a little [C] diversion I'd take my family on a camping [D] excursion.
We were tired of vacations with air [G]-conditioned rooms and [D] such.
Swim poo. _
_ [G] I thought two weeks way back in the [C] woods would do us all a whole world of good,
[D] especially the kids.
They don't appreciate [G] nature much.
Rather watch TV, eat out of twinkies.
Well, my wife wasn't sure, but I said, look here, honey.
[C] We'll have a lot of fun and save a lot of [D] money.
Now right there's where I made my first [G] mistake, friend.
I [D] figured a tent, a few cans of beans, marshmallows, what could it cost?
[G] What with the sleeping bags and the hiking [C] shoes and all the other paraphernalia
that you [D] use, it came to $6,947 [G].22.
But like the man said, he'd use it all again.
Well, we packed a new Land Rover with a maximum [C] load drove.
We were plumb out of [D] road and in the backpack.
Six hours straight up [G] a steep [D] incline.
_ _ [G] Then we saw the perfect [C] sight.
There were trees on the left and a creek on the [D] right of a clearing to pitch the tent.
Just what we [G] had in mind. _ _ _
Now pitching the tent took four hours or [C] so.
And by then the sun was sinking low [D] and the kids were whining and crying for [G] something to eat.
Whereupon [D] my wife said, where's the restroom?
I told her, she grins, yeah, where is it?
[Dm] So we broke out the [G] soda crackers and [C] sardines, the beans, the sausages and pork and [D] beans
and sat around the fire to enjoy a [G] well-earned treat.
Mmm, good, now that's city-fied junk food for us.
God remind me or not!
Let's all go camping, [C] you'll never [G] have it so good.
It's great getting back to nature [A] out here [D] in the woods.
[G] Amongst the birds and the [Bm] bees and the flowers and the [C] trees where the animals [A] are offering.
[D] Once you get hooked [Em] on camping, [A] you'll never like the [G] city again.
[Ab] _ _ _ Well, we just weren't ready for what happened then [Db] when sparks from the campfire
carried by the [Eb] wind set a pile of leaves and two eighty-nine ninety [Ab]-five sleeping bags [Eb] aflame.
Little Elvis going for the marshmallows, thought his fire was the dearest.
[Ab] Yeah, it spread from the bags and the leaves to the [Db] trees,
raging out of control and fanned by the [Eb] breeze.
I thought all was lost and then thank God [Ab] it started to rain.
I don't mean shower, friends, we're talking paramount Noah one whole time.
Well, the fire was out and huddled in the [Db] tent.
War slap out from the days of [Eb] events,
floating on our iron mattresses in [Ab] mud, ankle deep.
[Eb] Whereupon my wife said, I really need to know now, where is the restaurant?
[Ab] And when it finally stopped raining, it was cold and late.
[Db] But those mysterious noises kept us awake [Eb] and we all knew we'd be mauled or axe murdered [Ab] in our sleep.
At this point, I knew the ghost stories earlier had been a bad idea.
I was dozing off just about to dream [Db] about a holiday.
And when a blood curdling [Eb] scream announced the presence of something in the [Ab] tent
covered with [Eb] hair.
That's when I said, leap up there son, light the coal and think there's something in here [Ab] with us.
We lift the lantern and there he was, [Db] a little beady eyed fuzzy looking at us.
[Eb] And we chased him out of the tent and ran head on into [Ab] a bear.
He just finished off the groceries and was frothing at the mouth.
Ain't no gentle bend here, friend.
He reared back on his haunches and he let out a growl [Db] and we all turned white
and let out a howl, [Eb] went tearing through the woods in hysterics without a [Ab] flashlight or a lamp.
[Eb] It's amazing what adrenaline can do.
I mean I was a track star in high school but my chubby little wife just _ _ _ taken a Sunday stroll
yelling, never mind me.
[Ab] Well somehow we all made it to the [Db] car and I had to crank it with a quick hot wire
[Eb] cause I'd left the keys in my backpack [Ab] back at the camp.
Long shoes, wallet, Rolex and $6,947.20 worth of camping [A] equipment.
_ We went flying down that dark muddy [D] trail, slipping and sliding like a bat out of hell.
Till we drove through a [E] stream that we crossed on [A] our way in.
Lord [E] knows how we missed all the trees at 90 miles an hour sideways.
[A] Now the rain made it deeper than it was before [D] and the water started pouring in around the doors
[E] and we had to swim to the shore.
Never saw that Land [A] Rover again.
Just floated off. _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Well we finally stumbled into civilization.
[D] Called a friend of mine from a taxi co-station.
[E] He drove out and picked us up and took us all [A] on home.
Wet, [E] cold, tired, talking to ourselves.
They [A] say take only pictures and leave only footprints.
[D] Well we left eight sleeping bags, two trail master [E] tents, a Coleman stove,
$400 worth of groceries, [A] a Land Rover, a Rolex and every stitch of clothing my wife ever owned.
Oh yeah, I had to take it all. _ _ _ _
_ Me, she said, let's all go camping.
[D] You've never had it [A] so good.
It's great getting back to nature [B] out here [E] in the woods.
[A] Amongst the birds and the [Dbm] bees and the flowers and the trees [D] where the animals are [B] our friends.
[E] Once you get hooked [Gbm] on camping, you'll never like the city [A] again.
_ _ I'll tell you one thing, next summer we're going to Daytona Beach.
For what this trip cost, we could have gone to Hawaii.
_ Twice!
First class!
I'm talking cooler girls and them little pink fizzy drinks with them little parasols sticking out of.
_ Nature?
Huh.
Give me some concrete.
I love traffic.
[D] Let me have some of that smog too.
[E] I'd rather be mugged [A] once a week than go back out there, friend.
Just call me Irvine from now _ _ _ [G] _ _