Chords for Ray Stevens - "The Quarantine Song" (Live on Larry's Country Diner, 2020)

[Dm] _ [F] _ _ _ _ _ _
I wash my hands, [Dm] [F] I don't touch [Gm] my face. _
[C] I stay at home, [Gm] _ [C] shelter [F] in place. _
Social distance, _ [F] don't go [Bb] to work.
_ [Gm]
I [F] wear a mask and gloves, [C] stay away [F] from church. _
[A] I avoid [F] old folks, _ [Dm] and should [C] I sneeze, _
I do it in my elbow [C] or up [F] my sleeve.
Six feet apart, _ [F] that [Bb] is the rule.
[Gm]
And [F] I pray for the day [C] the kids can go back [F] to school. _ _
[Bb] I'm washing [Dm] my [E] hands [F] like a [Dm] raccoon with [F] OCD.
[Dm] [C] I've watched Hulu, Roku, [D] Netflix, [F] PBS, and the BBC.
[Bb] I've taken down all my mirrors, [F] and I'm sick of what [Dm] I see.
_ _ [F] Two more weeks of quarantine [C] will be [E] the death [F] of me.
The death of me.
I risk a trip [Dm] [F] to the grocery [Gm] store _ [C] to buy a teepee _ and a few [F] things more.
_ [Dm] But when I [F] get there, _ [Fm]
all [Bb] I can find [Gm] is [C] [F] 16 [C] honey buns and some mad [F] dog wine.
_ [Bb] I'm washing my hands [F] like a raccoon with OCD.
[C] I've watched Hulu, Roku, [Gb] Netflix, [F] PBS, and the BBC.
[Dm] I've taken [Bb] down all my mirrors, because [F] I'm sick of what [Dm] I see.
_ _ [F] Two more weeks of this [C] quarantine's gonna be the death [F] of me.
The death of me.
You know, they say this is war.
But we don't have to storm Omaha Beach or Porkchop Hill.
We just lay here on the couch and watch TV.
I'd rather volunteer for a high-risk commando [Bb] raid to [F] parachute into Wuhan
and find that little fella that ordered that bad soup.
I know I'm talking out of my head, saying crazy stuff over and over like,
yes, dear, yes, dear.
At breakfast, I meant to say, honey, please pass me the pepper.
What slipped out was, you crazy one, you've ruined my life.
_ [F] _
Of course, I immediately apologized as soon as I regained consciousness. _ _