Chords for The College Try by Garfunkel and Oates
Tempo:
80.35 bpm
Chords used:
D
A
G
Bm
B
Tuning:Standard Tuning (EADGBE)Capo:+0fret
Start Jamming...
There comes a time in [D] everyone's life when they choose [A] stasis or they choose to [D] grow
to be open to new views and [D] experiences and challenge what [A] they think [D] they know
We don't live in a black and white world and [G] sexuality exists in the gray
You can't define those roles so [D] rigidly by saying [A] someone's totally straight or [D] totally gay
Cause people [A] are just people and love [B] today is omnisexual
[G] God I love the new side of [D] me as a modern heteroflexible
So with the help of a lot of booze I [G] find a girl and we make [B] out
And it feels the same as kissing a guy [A] so I don't see what all the fuss [D] is about
We keep hooking up and it feels so [G] good and with my new broad outlook firmly in [Bm] place
I've come so far it feels so right [A] there's a vagina in my face
[Ab] And I'm like AHHHHH!
[C] I'm gonna cry!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
Really?
[G] Holy shit I didn't expect [C] that to normally react that way
[B] I was repelled by negatively charged ions and magnetic fields and I got pricked by a thorn
I'm Cinderella and it's midnight and my [N] coach turned into a woman
I haven't been that close to a vagina since I was born
[D]
I thought I [G] understood what was up down there but it's [A] just so human when you see it up close
It's a messy, visible, [Bm] secreting organ
Real woman genitals are kinda gross
I thought it'd be smooth and non-threatening or non [D]-existent like Barbies
Instead it looks [G] like a hacky and beef and cheddar in a [A] garbage can at Arby's
[G] It's wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy and kinda pink
But also kinda brown with a super aggressive tongue-like hole
And [A] a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
It's like a leather-beaten deflated [Bm] football
Or a decomposing [D] bloody pear
Or a toothless mouth with gum-rotten yeast [A] that's salivating and covered in hair
I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
Like [D] old French dressing in a salad bar
Or expired banana at Pivia
[B] Or a dead rotting turtle you left [D] in your car
Or reminding me of the smell of my grandma's house
Or a guinea pig with bacterial [G] disease
Walking from the door of a maldehyde
Or fresh [A] pineapples and warm blue cheese
[D] Sorry, I can't believe [Ab] I said that
That [Bm] was insensitive and immature
I swear I'm not homophobic or anti-woman
Just caught off guard for sure
The female anatomy's divine and perfect
And should be eternally celebrated
[B] And revered for its role as a beautiful vessel
Wherein all life is [Eb] created
And when I think about it
Oh no, I'm gonna throw up!
[Ab] I'm [D] sorry for the confusion, [G] ma'am
I guess I'm not that [B] evolved
And my illusions of [A] bisexuality just instantly dissolved
[D] I'm more in the cool new life [G] I'd envisioned
Where love renders gender preference [Bm] obsolete
Cause when I looked a vagina [A] in the eye
I made a hasty, ungraceful [G] retreat
So my sad but definite conclusion [A] is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
[Bm] But I'm happy so many people like [D] it down there
Otherwise I'd [G] be really lonely
[A] And I can't believe I [E] have one of those Ew!
[Bm]
to be open to new views and [D] experiences and challenge what [A] they think [D] they know
We don't live in a black and white world and [G] sexuality exists in the gray
You can't define those roles so [D] rigidly by saying [A] someone's totally straight or [D] totally gay
Cause people [A] are just people and love [B] today is omnisexual
[G] God I love the new side of [D] me as a modern heteroflexible
So with the help of a lot of booze I [G] find a girl and we make [B] out
And it feels the same as kissing a guy [A] so I don't see what all the fuss [D] is about
We keep hooking up and it feels so [G] good and with my new broad outlook firmly in [Bm] place
I've come so far it feels so right [A] there's a vagina in my face
[Ab] And I'm like AHHHHH!
[C] I'm gonna cry!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
Really?
[G] Holy shit I didn't expect [C] that to normally react that way
[B] I was repelled by negatively charged ions and magnetic fields and I got pricked by a thorn
I'm Cinderella and it's midnight and my [N] coach turned into a woman
I haven't been that close to a vagina since I was born
[D]
I thought I [G] understood what was up down there but it's [A] just so human when you see it up close
It's a messy, visible, [Bm] secreting organ
Real woman genitals are kinda gross
I thought it'd be smooth and non-threatening or non [D]-existent like Barbies
Instead it looks [G] like a hacky and beef and cheddar in a [A] garbage can at Arby's
[G] It's wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy and kinda pink
But also kinda brown with a super aggressive tongue-like hole
And [A] a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
It's like a leather-beaten deflated [Bm] football
Or a decomposing [D] bloody pear
Or a toothless mouth with gum-rotten yeast [A] that's salivating and covered in hair
I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
Like [D] old French dressing in a salad bar
Or expired banana at Pivia
[B] Or a dead rotting turtle you left [D] in your car
Or reminding me of the smell of my grandma's house
Or a guinea pig with bacterial [G] disease
Walking from the door of a maldehyde
Or fresh [A] pineapples and warm blue cheese
[D] Sorry, I can't believe [Ab] I said that
That [Bm] was insensitive and immature
I swear I'm not homophobic or anti-woman
Just caught off guard for sure
The female anatomy's divine and perfect
And should be eternally celebrated
[B] And revered for its role as a beautiful vessel
Wherein all life is [Eb] created
And when I think about it
Oh no, I'm gonna throw up!
[Ab] I'm [D] sorry for the confusion, [G] ma'am
I guess I'm not that [B] evolved
And my illusions of [A] bisexuality just instantly dissolved
[D] I'm more in the cool new life [G] I'd envisioned
Where love renders gender preference [Bm] obsolete
Cause when I looked a vagina [A] in the eye
I made a hasty, ungraceful [G] retreat
So my sad but definite conclusion [A] is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
[Bm] But I'm happy so many people like [D] it down there
Otherwise I'd [G] be really lonely
[A] And I can't believe I [E] have one of those Ew!
[Bm]
Key:
D
A
G
Bm
B
D
A
G
There comes a time in [D] everyone's life when they choose [A] stasis or they choose to [D] grow
to be open to new views and [D] experiences and challenge what [A] they think [D] they know
We don't live in a black and white world and [G] sexuality exists in the gray
You can't define those roles so [D] rigidly by saying [A] someone's totally straight or [D] totally gay
Cause people [A] are just people and love [B] today is omnisexual
[G] God I love the new side of [D] me as a modern heteroflexible
So with the help of a lot of booze I [G] find a girl and we make [B] out
And it feels the same as kissing a guy [A] so I don't see what all the fuss [D] is about
We keep hooking up and it feels so [G] good and with my new broad outlook firmly in [Bm] place
I've come so far it feels so right [A] there's a vagina in my face
[Ab] And I'm like AHHHHH!
[C] I'm gonna cry!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
Really?
_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] Holy shit I didn't expect [C] that to normally react that way
[B] I was repelled by negatively charged ions and magnetic fields and I got pricked by a thorn
I'm Cinderella and it's midnight and my [N] coach turned into a woman
I haven't been that close to a vagina since I was born
[D]
I thought I [G] understood what was up down there but it's [A] just so human when you see it up close
It's a messy, visible, [Bm] secreting organ
Real woman genitals are kinda gross
I thought it'd be smooth and non-threatening or non [D]-existent like Barbies
Instead it looks [G] like a hacky and beef and cheddar in a [A] garbage can at Arby's
[G] It's wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy and kinda pink
But also kinda brown with a super aggressive tongue-like hole
And [A] a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
It's like a leather-beaten deflated [Bm] football
Or a decomposing [D] bloody pear
Or a toothless mouth with gum-rotten yeast [A] that's salivating and covered in hair _
I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
Like [D] old French dressing in a salad bar
Or expired banana at Pivia
[B] Or a dead rotting turtle you left [D] in your car
Or reminding me of the smell of my grandma's house
Or a guinea pig with bacterial [G] disease
Walking from the door of a maldehyde
Or fresh [A] pineapples and warm blue cheese
_ [D] _ Sorry, I can't believe [Ab] I said that
That [Bm] was insensitive and immature
I swear I'm not homophobic or anti-woman
Just caught off guard for sure
The female anatomy's divine and perfect
And should be eternally celebrated
[B] And revered for its role as a beautiful vessel
Wherein all life is [Eb] created
And when I think about it
Oh no, I'm gonna throw up!
[Ab] I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ [D] sorry for the confusion, [G] ma'am
I guess I'm not that [B] evolved
And my illusions of [A] bisexuality just instantly dissolved
[D] I'm more in the cool new life [G] I'd envisioned
Where love renders gender preference [Bm] obsolete
Cause when I looked a vagina [A] in the eye
I made a hasty, ungraceful [G] retreat
So my sad but definite conclusion [A] is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
[Bm] But I'm happy so many people like [D] it down there
Otherwise I'd [G] be really lonely
[A] And I can't believe I [E] have one of those Ew!
[Bm] _
to be open to new views and [D] experiences and challenge what [A] they think [D] they know
We don't live in a black and white world and [G] sexuality exists in the gray
You can't define those roles so [D] rigidly by saying [A] someone's totally straight or [D] totally gay
Cause people [A] are just people and love [B] today is omnisexual
[G] God I love the new side of [D] me as a modern heteroflexible
So with the help of a lot of booze I [G] find a girl and we make [B] out
And it feels the same as kissing a guy [A] so I don't see what all the fuss [D] is about
We keep hooking up and it feels so [G] good and with my new broad outlook firmly in [Bm] place
I've come so far it feels so right [A] there's a vagina in my face
[Ab] And I'm like AHHHHH!
[C] I'm gonna cry!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
Really?
_ _ _ _ _ _ [G] Holy shit I didn't expect [C] that to normally react that way
[B] I was repelled by negatively charged ions and magnetic fields and I got pricked by a thorn
I'm Cinderella and it's midnight and my [N] coach turned into a woman
I haven't been that close to a vagina since I was born
[D]
I thought I [G] understood what was up down there but it's [A] just so human when you see it up close
It's a messy, visible, [Bm] secreting organ
Real woman genitals are kinda gross
I thought it'd be smooth and non-threatening or non [D]-existent like Barbies
Instead it looks [G] like a hacky and beef and cheddar in a [A] garbage can at Arby's
[G] It's wrinkly and flappy and uneven and messy and kinda pink
But also kinda brown with a super aggressive tongue-like hole
And [A] a hoody triangle protruding skin mound
It's like a leather-beaten deflated [Bm] football
Or a decomposing [D] bloody pear
Or a toothless mouth with gum-rotten yeast [A] that's salivating and covered in hair _
I knew it smelled weird but this is extreme
Like [D] old French dressing in a salad bar
Or expired banana at Pivia
[B] Or a dead rotting turtle you left [D] in your car
Or reminding me of the smell of my grandma's house
Or a guinea pig with bacterial [G] disease
Walking from the door of a maldehyde
Or fresh [A] pineapples and warm blue cheese
_ [D] _ Sorry, I can't believe [Ab] I said that
That [Bm] was insensitive and immature
I swear I'm not homophobic or anti-woman
Just caught off guard for sure
The female anatomy's divine and perfect
And should be eternally celebrated
[B] And revered for its role as a beautiful vessel
Wherein all life is [Eb] created
And when I think about it
Oh no, I'm gonna throw up!
[Ab] I'm _ _ _ _ _ _ [D] sorry for the confusion, [G] ma'am
I guess I'm not that [B] evolved
And my illusions of [A] bisexuality just instantly dissolved
[D] I'm more in the cool new life [G] I'd envisioned
Where love renders gender preference [Bm] obsolete
Cause when I looked a vagina [A] in the eye
I made a hasty, ungraceful [G] retreat
So my sad but definite conclusion [A] is
That my mouth is for food and penises only
[Bm] But I'm happy so many people like [D] it down there
Otherwise I'd [G] be really lonely
[A] And I can't believe I [E] have one of those Ew!
[Bm] _