Chords for Dennis Leary - I'm an Asshole [Lyrics]

[D] _ _ _ _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ [Gm] _ _ [D] _
_ _ _ [Am] _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ [Gm] _ _ _
[D] _ Folks, _ I'd [G] like to sing a song about [Gm] the [D] American dream.
_ About me. _
[G] About you.
[Gm] _ _ [D]
About the way our American hearts beat way [G] down in the bottom of [Gm] our chests.
[D] _
_ About that special feeling we [G] get in the cockles of [Gm] our hearts.
[D]
Maybe below the cockles.
Maybe in the [G] sub-cockle area.
_ Maybe in the [D] liver.
_ Maybe in the kidneys.
[G] _ [E] Maybe even in the [Dm] colon.
_ We don't know. _ _
[G] _ _ _ [Gm] _ _ [D] _
I'm just a regular [G] _ [Gm] Joe with a [D] regular job.
I'm your [G] average white _ [D] suburban _ Iceland.
I like football [G] and porno [E] and books [D]
about war.
[Am] I got an [G] average house [Gm] with a [D] nice hardwood floor.
[C] My wife [Em] and my job.
[Gm] My [D] kids and my car.
My feet on my [G] table.
[Gm] And a [D] Cuban cigar. _ _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ [Gm] _ _ _
[D] _ But sometimes that just [G] ain't enough to [Bb] keep a man [D] like me interested.
[Am] Oh no.
[G] No way.
[E] Uh-uh.
No, [D] I've gotta go on [G] _ _ at someone else's [D] expense.
Oh yeah.
[G] Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Am] I drive really slow [G] in the ultra-fast lane [D] while people _ behind me [Dm] are going insane.
[D] I'm on a throw.
Yo, [G] yo, [Gm] yo, yo, yo, yo.
[D] I'm on a throw.
He's an asshole.
[G] He's an asshole.
_ [Gm] _ _
[D] I use public toilets and [G] I piss on [Gm] the seat.
[D] I walk around in the summertime saying, how about this heat?
I'm on a throw.
He's an asshole.
[G] Yo, yo, _ [Gm] yo, yo, yo.
[D] I'm on a throw.
He's an [G] asshole.
He's an asshole.
_ [Gm] _ _
[D] _ Sometimes I park [G] in _ [Gm] handicapped spaces [D] while handicapped people [G] make handicapped [D] faces.
I'm a nutso, _ [G] yo yo [Bb] yo yo yo yo
[D] I'm a nutso, _ [G] yo yo yo yo yo [Gm] yo
_ [D] _
[Em] Maybe I shouldn't [A] be singing this song
[Em] _ Ranting and raving and [A] carrying on _
[Em] _ Maybe they're right when [A] they tell me I'm wrong
_ _ _ [G] _ _ _
[Gbm] _ _ _ [A] _ _ _
[D] NUTSO, _ _ _ [G] YO YO YO YO [Bb] YO YO
[D]
I'm a nutso, _ yo [G] yo yo yo yo yo
_ _ [D] _ _
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get [G] myself a _ 1967 Cadillac [D] Eldorado Invertible
Hot pink, [G] with a whale [E] skin huff shaft, [D] an all leather cow interior and [G] big brown baby [Gm] seal eyes [D] for headlights, yeah!
And I'm gonna drive around in that [G] baby at 150 [Gm] miles per [D] hour, getting one mile per gallon, sucking down [G] quarter pounder cheeseburgers from [Gm] McDonald's in the [D] old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
[G] And when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers, [D] I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American [G] flag, and then I'm gonna toss [Bb] the styrofoam [D] containers right outside
And write a goddamn [G] thing anybody can [Gm] do about it, you know why?
[D]
Because we got the bombs, that's why
[G] Two words, [E] nuclear fucking [D] weapons, okay?
_ Russia, Germany, [G] Romania, they can [D] have all the democracy they want, they can have a big democracy cake walk right through the middle of the Inman Square
And it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, [G] okay?
John Wayne's not dead, [D] he's frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer, [G] we're gonna throw out that dupe, and he's gonna be [D] pretty pissed off
You know why?
If you're ever taking [G] a cold shower, we'll [Bb] multiply that by 15 [D] million times, that's how pissed off the dupe's gonna be
I'm gonna get the dupe, and John gets the medis, and leave Marvin at San Pecan Park, and [G] a case of whiskey, and [Gm] drive down to Texas [D] A
You know, you really are an asshole
Why don't you [G] just shut up and sing the song, [D] pal
Come on asshole, _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ [Bb] _ [D] come on asshole
_ _ _ [G] _
_ _ [D] A _ _ _ -S-S [G]-H-O [D]-L-E, everybody, A-S-S [G]-H-O [Gm]-L _ [D]-E
A-S-S-H [G]-O-L _ [D]-E _ _ _ _
A [G]-S-S-H-O [D]-L _ -E _
_ _ _ _ I'm _ _ an asshole, and I'm proud of it _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _