Chords for Ironic- Bo Burnham [Lyrics]

_ _ _ I believe in the Zodiac!
Yeah, I do.
I'm a Leo.
I love Titanic.
Uh, there's something a little bit _ more_
Something a little bit morbidly ironic.
My grandmother, uh, she was a cancer.
And she was actually killed by a giant crab. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ This is a song about the idea of irony, so strap [D] in! _ _ _
_ My [G] dog's stomach [D] was very [A] upset
So [D] I put [G] him in the car and [A] we went to the vet
[D] And on [G] our way to the [A] vet, [D] I killed a [A] cat.
[D] Yes, it is not ironic, no.
_ _ I adopted [G] a [D] child from [A] overseas
[D] To rescue him [Em] from child [A] labor factories
[D] And on his very [G] first [A] birthday, we went to build [D] a bear [A] workshop.
[D] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ Isn't that I-R-O [G]-N-I-C-I [D]-N-O-R-I [A]-R-O-N [D]-I-C
A water park [G] is burned to the ground
[D] And a tow [A] truck is broken [D] down
I [E] always [D] used [G] to cry when I laughed
[A] And then I was raped by [N] a clown
[D] I _ _ [G] _ _ _ _
[D] _ _ _ [A] _ _ [D] _ _ [A] _
_ [D] _ _ _ _ _ was [G] watching Al Gore [D] on [A] CNN
He [D] was [G] talking and talking [A] and talking
And then, [D] [G] out of [A] boredom, my pet [D] polar bear shot [A] [D] himself.
Isn't that ironic?
_ _ _ _ I dated [G] an animal [D] rights [A] [D] activist
And one [G] day she got [A] really pissed
[D] Because I [G] was [D] eating veal that was wrapped in pita [A] bread.
[D] _ Pita_
fuck. _ _ _
_ Isn't that I-R-O [G]-N-I-C-I [D]-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
Yeah, I'm a stand-up [G] comic
And [D] I always sit and [A] slouch
[D] And I got my [G] girlfriend pregnant
On my [A] sterile [B] uncle's pull [N]-out couch.
_ [E] _ _ _ [A] _ _
[E] Isn't that ironic?
I-R [B]-O-N-I-C
Yeah, if [E] every day you play the board [A] game, Risk
[E] You've probably never [B] taken a [E] risk in your life
[A] And Monopoly heads [B] far from a stranglehold
In the board game market.
[E] A little kid died [A] from suffocation
When [B] he choked on a game piece from [E] Operation
And I can't [A] grow a beard.
_ [B] That one's not ironic.
That one's [E] just sad.
_ _ [A] _ _ _ _ _
[F#] _ [B] _ Ah, [E] _ _ Bob [A] Barker got all of [B] my pets [E] pregnant. _
_ _ _ _ [A] _ _ _ _
[C#m] _ _ [B] _ _ _ _ _
[E] My [A] grandfather [E] had _ Alzheimer's
And one [A] day [B] we were_
_ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _