Chords for Bo Burnham - My whole family thinks I'm gay

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Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for Bo Burnham!
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_ _ _ _ _ Uh, thanks. _ _ _ _ _ _
Um_
Welcome to my show, it's called, uh,
If You Sing Along I'll Fucking Kill You. _ _ _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ Uh, this is the song.
_ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _
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_ [G] _ Every time [D] I go to [G] dinner
[D] Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
[G] I'll sit [D] down at the breakfast _ table
I can talk, they're not able
But when I look at them I [G] find
There's a [D] single question on their mind
_ I [G] _ [D] wish it could go back to the way it [G] was
It's not easy [D] now because
_ _ _ [Em] _ _ My [C] whole family thinks I'm [G] gay
I guess it's [D]
always been that [E] way
Maybe [C] it's cause of the way [G] that I walk
Makes [D] them think I [Em] like boys
_ [C] _ _ _
[G] _ _ _ _ _ And I [Em] like girls
_ [C] _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ [G] The goddamn question just won't go away
[D] And I get asked every single day
But the way they ask it is not a disguise
Like, uh, how was your day?
Do you like to [E] kiss guys?
That's [G] funny.
[D] This is the worst, maybe this was my [G] fear
Now their opinions [D] are crystal _ clear _
[Em] Because my [C] whole family now [G] is shocked
I'm in the closet [Em] and the door is locked
Now [C] my glory days are [G]
gone
I was John Elway, [Em] now I'm Elton John
My [C] whole family now [G] suspects
That [E] watching Spongebob [Em] had side [Am] effects
[C] I'm not gay and that's what I said
[D] If I'm gay, hey God, [Em] strike me dead, you know? _
_ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [Em] _
_ _ _ [C] _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ Just cause I'm afraid of the [G] snow
Or my favorite [D] color is the _
_ [N] rainbow
_ _ _ I
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[G] don't mean to yell, but I [D] fear I must
[G] Cause I'm losing the people [D] that I thought I could _ _ trust
[Em] Because even [C] my boyfriend thinks [G] I'm gay
[D] _ _ _ _ _
[Em] _ Motherfucker
_ [C] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _ [Em] _
_ You [C] all probably think I'm [G] gay
_ Man, [D] this song is _ [Em] _
[Am] counterproductive
_ [C] _ _ _ [G] _ _
_ La la [D] la la la la
[Em] Because my [C] whole family thinks [G] I'm gay
[D] What if they know anyway?
_ [C] You gotta look right through [G] the haze
Easy Bake Oven [Em] was just a phase
[A]
And my [C] whole family thinks [G] I'm queer
That [D] is all I ever [Em] hear
[C]
But I've been as straight as [G] a ramp
[D] If you don't count [Em] Bible Camp _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ [N] _ _ _
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[F] _ _ _ _ _ _ Thanks for [B] coming out
_ _ _ _ Hey, so those ASU girls are pretty hot
Any of you? _
_ [N] _ _ _ _ Okay, this isn't a great example, but Um _ _ _ _
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_ _ _ _ _ _ I'm just kidding, it's a year in the dark
I couldn't see you, I bet you're gorgeous in the dark
_ _ Um
[E] _ _ _
_ _ _ _ You like my shirt?
_ _ _ [C] Um, back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid
Well, that and faggot _