Chords for Lil Dicky - Professional Rapper (Feat. Snoop Dogg)

[B] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
[E] _ _ _ _ _ [C] Hello, how can I help you?
Hi, my name is Dave Bird.
[Bm] I have an appointment today.
[E] It's probably under Lil Dicky, actually.
[G] I'm a rapper, [C] so_
Okay, and [E] who are you here to see?
_ [C#m] _ Snoop Dogg, says here.
Snoop D-O-G-G.
[G] Oh yeah, he's right down [G#] the hall.
First [E] door to your right.
Give him a knock and he should be right [G] with you.
[E] _ _ _
[C#m] Grab a seat.
Thanks, I'm Dave.
Very nice to meet.
Dave, what do you do?
You can call [G] me Dogg.
Let me just check [G#] your sheet.
No [E] problem, sir.
Let me just say, I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make.
I can't lie, I've been thinking about this all day.
[G] Oh good, there's a reason that we call [G#] Dave.
Let me start [E] with your background.
Where you come from?
[C#m] Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond.
Before that.
Oh, you talking about my hometown?
Yeah.
[G] I was born out of Philly, grew up in [Fm] a little silly old town [F] called Chottenham.
It's in the [C#m] suburbs, upper middle wealth around.
So real shit, you ain't never had to struggle for money?
I wouldn't say [G] it like that.
We just had a different kind of [B] trap.
Elaborate.
[Em] Well, I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man of school like I was doing shit I had to do.
So when I finished undergrad, I'm cool [G#] and I could get whatever job I wanted.
[Em] But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping.
Yeah, and I saw quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that.
Man, you've been [D] racing them rats.
You ain't been making them [E] raps.
Oh, what a hardship.
[C] How you pay to get the rap shit started?
Man, my bar mitzvah money, but don't diss me, buddy.
[Gm] I wasn't one of them youngins up on the [C] block who had nothing to lose.
[E] I must've wanted this a lot.
I had something [C] to choose.
Look at that.
I can see there's something to prove [Em] up in your ass.
Yeah, I guess.
That's a look [G] for the past.
What makes you want to do rap?
[E] _ _ Let me draw [C#m] upon a breast.
Literally, I can reinvent myself.
I get a form to project myself.
[G] It's never boring.
Every morning I wake up [C#] and try to best myself.
I never got to be suppressed or [C#m] stealthy to express myself.
It's kind of healthy.
Cool.
Now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals. [G] Sure.
And a club and a couple niggas [Fm] threaten you.
[E] I wouldn't do shit, and I don't even [C#m] get what they got to do with this.
Shut the fuck up.
Rap's like life.
If you want to do [G] this, then you won't get far acting [G#] like a little bitch.
[E] That's my niche.
Don't get offended [C#m] by this, but that's the market you'll miss.
That's the target I'll hit, and [G] that's the heart of my pitch.
I want to do this [B] whole thing different.
The [E] fuck you mean you want to do the whole thing different?
You know, I think, [G] like, you know, traditionally people [C] have been doing the job, [B] you know, the same kind [E] of way for a long time.
But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
No, [G] I get that.
But I [C] just think, like, you [B] know, you don't know if it could [E] be working even better.
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that [G] out.
_ _ [C#] _ So what are your [E] biggest strengths?
Well, my flow is crazy.
I can switch that amazing.
For example, I could be like, ain't nobody fucking [G] with a diggy when he get up on the shit [G#] and spit his nigga ridiculous,
[E] ribbing the shit like it's never been did in the rhythm is never predictable because I can switch it,
deliver this shit and whatever cadence you bitches prefer.
[G] All right.
All right.
I get it.
But [C#] I'm pretty damn [E] clever.
Got a lawn bottom [C#m] bitch got a whole never.
And I blow from the ground.
Dara Rosny, you can say I'm pretty smart.
[G] I know better.
And you all are winning [C#] like Vastoreus.
It's no feat, bro.
I could go [C#m] on and on.
I'm taking over and I'm mad like father in law.
OK, enough of the punch line.
[G] That ain't showing me you're different than the [G#] other guy.
Well, I don't know [E] if they can run it like that, but ain't nobody else doing [Am] funny type rap.
What's that?
Well, I could tell a story about my morning [G] watching Boy Meets World and jerking [G#] off to the Pangalore.
[E] It's like the 14 year old.
Oh, this shit like a joke to you.
I don't get it.
Not ain't like that.
I just happen to be a [Gm] nutty, abundantly funny type of [Cm] individual.
Like as a guy.
[E] So when I get up on the mic, I invented this lie.
Real [C] recognize real.
Right.
Yeah, I guess.
So what you trying to do five years from now?
Tell me about the [D] dude.
Well, I don't care [E] about the money.
Like it's the [C] respect that I'm wanting.
Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats.
But I got to bring a boy up [Gm] every debate.
I want to leave the [D] game the same in a [E] nutshell.
What's your legacy?
Well, [C] I want to be the dude that came in and made a stand up rap with the random rap and a man like that.
For the people that was anti-rap, the [G] fans of rap started recognize the [Am] anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left.
That shit sound pretty [C] damn complex.
I guess I [Fm] want to be the best.
I just want [F#] to do it my way [Em] and turn the whole game sideways to show people you ain't got to be resigned to the highway.
You can make a path for these motherfuckers.
Drive straight.
[F#] I'm mad at that.
[B] Well, thanks, man.
That's my plan of attack.
[E] Just let me in and I'm a wrap the plaques and I'm about to win them back to back.
I'm about to win them like it's back to back [G#m] to back to back to back till I stop rapping.
You ain't even sold a damn [C#m] album yet.
That's a lot of talk from a Wally bet.
Let alone young book.
You [D#] misread me.
Not a single [G#] book.
Well, that's [E] one of my flaws.
I'm too competitive.
No, you just fucking repetitive dog.
I get it.
You trying to be [G] better than all, but you want [G#] shit into tennis [E] ball.
I get that.
I got to [C#m] prove myself.
No shit.
You ain't done shit.
Think about that, though.
Only doing this a [G] couple of years.
One taping them [C] like this shit is [C#] I for your first shit.
But [C#m] you don't know if you're worse.
You don't think finding out would be worth it.
It might be.
It [D#] might not.
But I'm up with your [C] ass to work.
[B] Kid, wait, like, [E] like I have the job, like, really?
Well, one more thing.
Let me see [G] if you can put a hook together.
[C] What would you do for the hook [B] for this song?
You [E] want me to make a hook right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating [G] himself?
Uh, OK, [C] man, do the hook.
[B] I'm about to be [E] professional.
Homey, I'm professional.
Maybe [G] like a low voice type thing.
[C] Look at that shit [B] is garbage, [E] man.
Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it,
but I'm not good [G] at thinking of things on the spot like that.
[C#] Don't you normally like [B] outsource for that kind of thing?
[E] Sometimes, whatever, man, you [G] trying to smoke a blunt [C] right now?
Yeah, sure.
Dope.
I need to bring some weed in here, please.
Thank you.
You got it, Snoop.
I'll be right there.
Thanks, Juanita.
Super nice woman.
Why does everything you say sound so soft?
I really don't want to be spoken to like that.
So, yeah, whatever.
Hey, I got y'all your weed.
Damn, that's some great looking weed.
It's just so early.
Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here?
Coffee, tea, head, bottled water?
Did you just say head?
Yeah.
You ain't never got no head before? _ _
I mean, it just feels like a lot right now.
OK.
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast.
Actually, I'll take head.
I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head.
_ _ [E] _ _ _ [C#m] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ [G#] _ _ [E] _ _
_ [C#m] _ _ _ _ _ _ [N] _