The Auctioneer Chords by Steve Goodman

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Well, I [Abm] learned a few shit-kicking songs sort of in self-defense when I had to open some [Gm] shows for Steve Martin
[Bb] So I'll play one of them now.
This is a called the auctioneers is an old hog-calling song by Leroy Van [G] Dyke _
_ This [F] song is perfect for playing to 15,000 people with balloons and arrows on their heads
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_ _ _ _ _ Now there was a boy in Arkansas [C] and he wouldn't listen to [D] his mom when she told him that he ought to go [G] to school
_ _ He'd sneak away in the [C] afternoon and he'd take a little walking pretty [D] soon, he'd find him at the local [G] auction bar
_ [C] He'd sit down and listen carefully [G] and pretty soon he began to [A] see how the auctioneer could talk so [D] rapidly
[G] _ _ He said, oh my, it's the third [C] time I gotta learn that auction [D] cry, gotta make my mark and be an [G] auctioneer _ _ _ _ _
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_ [C] _ _ _ [D] Now _ _
[G] _ _ _ _ time went on and he didn't rest [C] and everybody saw that he didn't [G] jest, he practiced calling bids every night and day
_ Nick Daddy, you find him out behind [C] the bar and he'd be working up an awful [G] storm, he tried to imitate the [Em] auctioneer
_ And Dad said, son, we can't stand to have a mediocre man selling [A] things at auction using our [D] good [G] name
_ Now I'm sending you off to the auction school [C] and then we'd be [G] nobody's fool and you could take your place among the best _ _ _ _ _
_ [C] _ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ _ _ _ Now I'm working my way to [C] get me a 45, we'll make a 45, [D] better than a 45, a new way better than a 45 [G] dollar bid
And that boy that went to school, that good [C] man, played the ghoul and he [G] came home a full-fledged _ auctioneer
See the people come from miles [C] around when they hear him make that rhythmic [G] sound and fill their hearts with such a happy cheer
_ [C] Then his fame spread out from shore to [G] shore and he had all he could do and [A] more, had to buy a plane [D] to get around
[G] _ Well he was the best in all the [C] land and everybody gave that sucker a [G] hand and he was the best hillbilly _ _ auctioneer
Boy, I'm a dollar bidder now, 50 dollar, [N] 50 witty, give me 50, make it 50, bid him the ball, 50 dollar witty, give me 50, new bidder than a 50 [D] dollar [G] bid
_ It's a 50 dollar bidder now, 55 witty, [C] give me 55, we'll make it 55, better than [G] 55, I sold that hog for a 50, I sold that [C] hog for a 50, [G] sold that hog for a 50 dollar [C] bid
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