Chords for Steve Goodman -- Vegematic [Live]

_ It's actually the sad story of a man who falls asleep with his television on _ and has _ _ _ visions.
Okay.
_ [Bm] _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Fell asleep last night with the TV on.
[F#] Oh, what a dream [Bm] I had.
[B] _ Dreamed I went and answered every single one of those late night mail order [F#] ads.
[Bm] And four to six weeks [B] later, _ [Am] much to my [B] _
surprise,
The mailman came to my front door [F#] and I couldn't believe my [Bm] eyes.
When he brought the _ _ Vegematic _ and the Pocket [F#] _
[Bm] Fisherman too.
_ _ _ Illuminated, illustrated history of life.
[F#] _ Boxcar Willie with a Ginsu knife.
[Bm] A _ bamboo _ steamer and a [F#] garden weasel [Bm] too.
_ And a tie [A]-dyed Day [G#m]-Glo [G] souvenir shirt [F#] from Six Flags [Bm] over Burbank.
_ _ [F#m] _ _ _
_ _ [F#] _ _ _ [Bm] _ _ _
_ _ Well, the doorbell rang all morning _ and all through the [F#]
afternoon.
_ _ [B] I shook [A] with fright [A#] as it rang [Gm] all night by the light [F#] of the _ [Bm] MasterCard moon.
There was parcel post in the pantry, _ _ _ UPS [F#] in the hall,
_ [B] _ _ [Am] COD [G#m] to the ceiling, [G] _ [Bm] and it just couldn't pay for it all.
I [B] got the egg _ scrambler [D] with a [F#] Sela meal-carrying [Bm] case.
_ A set of presidential commemorative plates so I [F#] could eat my eggs off the president's [B] face.
A _ minute [Bm] mender _ and a needle that'll knitter crochet.
_ _ And an autographed photographer [B] in Tintin at Six Flags over [Bm] Burbank.
_ _ [Em] _ [F#] _ _
_ _ [Bm] _ [F#] _ _ [D] _ _ [B] _
_ _ I remember dial-streaming, so I gave a mighty [F#] cheer.
_ When [A] I awoke, [E] it was no [C] joke, cause [Bm] all that shit was here.
_ So if you fall asleep with the [B] TV on, let me tell you what [F#] to do.
_ _ [B] Rip the telephone [Em] out of the wall unless you [Gm] want it [F#] to happen [B] to you.
[Bm] You get the _ Veg-o-matic _ and [F#] the Pocket _
[Bm] Fisherman too.
_ _ _ Illuminated, illustrated history of life, [F#] _ boxcar Willie with a Ginsu knife.
[B] _ _ _
Bamboo steamer [Bm] and a [F#m] smokeless [B] ashtray too.
_ And in all [A] expenses [E] paid weekend for [G] three at [F#] Six _ Flags [B] over Burbank. _ _ _ _
_ _ [N] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
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