Chords for Half Man Half Biscuit - National Shite Day

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_ _ [D] _ Pulling the ice axe [A] from my leg, I [F] staggered on, fin [D]-dripped, stinging my remaining eye. _
[C] _ _ [F] I finally managed to reach [A] the station, only to [F] find that the bus [D] replacement service had broken [A] down. _
_ _ [F] After [D] wondering to myself [A] whether or not it should [C] actually be called a train replacement service,
I walked out [A] onto the concourse [C] and noticed the [F] giant screen seemed to [D] have been tampered with,
[A] probably [C] by a junior [F] employee.
_ [D] Disgruntled [A] commuters were being [C] regaled with some [F] dismal TV air [D] involving a [A] tug-of-war custody [C] battle.
_ [F] _ [D] Stockard Channing held [A] sway. _
[C] _ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ _ [Am] _ _
[C] _ _ [Am] _ _ [D] Down in the [Am] high street, somebody careered out of boots without due care [D] or attention.
[A] I suggested [C] they learn some [F] pedestrian etiquette, [D] i.e. [Am] sidle out at the [C] store gingerly, [F] embrace the margin.
[D] _ _ [A] _ _
_ _ [F] _ _ [D] _ Fat cakes [A] as sausage rolls, [F] poor sons conducting [D] polls.
_ [A] _
_ _ [Am] _ _ [D] There's a man with a mullet [A] going mad with a marathon [F] millet.
_ [D] _ _ _ [A] _
_ _ [Am] _ _ [D] I tried to put everything [Am] into perspective, set it against the scale of [D] human suffering,
[Am] and I thought of the Macgarvey government and the children of the [A] Calcutta Railways. _
_ [F] This worked for a while, [D] but then I encountered [A]
Primark [C] FM.
_ _ [D] Overhead a rainbow [A]
appears, _ [F] _ [E] in black and white. _
_ _ _ _ [A] _ _ [E] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [E] Shirtless.
I guess this [Bm] must be national.
[A] _
[B] Shirtless.
_ [E] This surely must be national. _ _
[B] Shirtless.
[E] Don't tell me, it's [A] national. _
[B] Shirtless.
[D] _ _ [A] _ _ [C] _ _
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[F] _ _ [D] _ _ [Am] _ _ [C] _ _
[F] _ _ [D] I got [A] a letter from Stringy [C] Bob, [F] still on suicide [D] watch.
Screws [A] not happy, spotted a [C] marsh artillery joint [D] association, was [A] wrongly ignored.
[C] What news [F] you?
_ [G] _ _ [A] I [C] felt sorry for him.
[F] He'd only been locked [D] up for public use and [Am] subvances,
[C] one of which saw [F] him beachcombing the [D] de-estuary,
[A] found a dead [C] waving bird, [F] took it home, [D] parceled it up,
and sent it up to the rubber [C]-faced irritant [F] Phil Poole,
[D] for the noting side [Am] was read,
Is this your [F] sandaling?
_ [D] _ _ [Am] _ _ [C] _ _
[F] _ _ [D] Another [A] time saw him answering [C] an advert in the [F] music press.
[D] _ [A] Keyboard player required, [C] doors, [F] Floyd, etc.
[D] Must be [Am] committed, [C] no time wasters.
[F] _ _ [D] _ [Am] You can guess the [C] rest. _
[F] _ _ [D] _ [Am] I always imagined he would simply wander [F] off someday into [D] the hills,
to be [Am] found months [C] later, his car [F] stripped by [D] homeless dogs,
[Am] his exposed [C] skull a perch [F] for the quartering crew.
[D] _ _ [A] _ _ [C] _ _
[F] _ [D] I folded away [Am] the letter and put it in [C] my inside pocket.
[F] _ _ [D] _ _ [A] All of [C] a sudden I felt [F] brushed by the wings [D] of something [A] dark.
_ [C] _ _
[F] _ [D] May the Lord [A] have mercy on [C] Stringy Bob.
[F] _ _ [E] _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ [A] _ _ _ [B] _ [E] Shirtless
I do believe it's [A] national
_ [B] _ [E] Shirtless
It all points to [A] national
_ [B] _ [E] Shirtless
Someone's declared it [A] national
_ [B] _ _ [E] Shirtless
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_ _ _ _ _ _ [A] _ _
[B] Shirtless
[E] My birthday, I'm national
[A] _ _ Shirtless
[E] No, buckwhole, it's [A] national _
[B] Shirtless
She's [Bm] humble, it's [A] national Shirtless
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