Chords for "Things beginner guitarists say" - Jared Dines

I've been practicing Eruption.
_ _ [G] _ _
_ [A] _ _ [Em] _ BC Rich guitars [D] are so sick.
I just don't see the point in learning how to read sheet music.
I just started a band with some of my high school friends.
We're called To Floss the Teeth of Poseidon.
Sick, right?
Want to hear some of our riffs?
_ _ _ _ [E] _
_ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _
_ [E] _ [D] Well, they sound better live.
We're playing a battle of the bands next month.
You should come watch us.
The winner gets signed to Wreck All Traders.
We only have, like, two songs ready, but I think we have a great shot at winning.
We have tickets, if you want one.
They're only, like, $18, _ but if you can come up with, like, $15, I'll cover the rest. _
But seriously, if you want one, just let me know.
I'll hook you up.
I'm really influenced by Capture the Crown.
Ebola for Pretty Boy.
For the Fallen Dreams.
I declare war.
I just want to get signed so bad.
Go on tour.
Play in front of, like, 10,000 people.
Not shower for, like, two weeks.
So much fun.
I'm getting a lot better.
Check this out.
_ [G] _ _ _ [Ab] _ _
_ [G] _ _ [Dm] _ _ _ _ _
_ [G] _ _ [E] Which guitar strings are better?
Ernie Ball or TNT Boomers?
I get all my tabs from UltimateGuitar.com.
I'm trying to learn Crazy Train right now.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [G] _
_ _ _ [D] _ [E] _ _ _ _
_ _ _ [G] _ _ _ [N] Pretty good, right?
Let's see.
I know the A chord, the B chord, the C chord.
I have to learn them in alphabetical order.
I don't know.
It's just some, like, weird thing for me.
I like Drop D a lot.
It's so much easier to play the chords.
I've been thinking about going down to Drop C,
but I don't know if I'm ready to go that heavy yet.
I just want to put stickers all over my guitar.
What is the brown note?
Why did I start playing guitar?
I'm just in love with music, honestly.
Everything about it is just, like, whoa.
And, I mean, you know, _ girls like it, too, so_
I know a really cool pentatonic scale.
[E] _ _ _ [Dm] _
_ [C] _ _ [Bb] _ _ [Dm] _ _ [N]
Pretty good, huh?
I was at Guitar Center yesterday, and they said I should buy a tube amp.
What's a tube amp?
I just bought a Line 6 instead.
The distortion is so heavy, though.
I also got a death metal distortion pedal.
No, like, that's what it's called.
Death metal distortion.
And I thought I was the beginner.
_ [D] _
_ _ [F] _ _ _ [G] _ _ _
_ [Bb] _ _ _ [F] _ _ [G] _ _
_ _ _ _ _ What's a key?
What does action mean?
I [D] have no idea what intonation is.
I am getting pretty good at sweep picking, though. _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I mean, it sounds better live.
But really, though, I have tickets if you want one.
So, like, how long does it take to get good at this?
Are you serious?
I don't know what this chord is called, but I love the sound of it. _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [Dm] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I [N] really want to get a guitar that has 24 frets.
Now that would be tight.
And a whammy bar.
Because, I mean, dive bombs are, like, the coolest thing ever.
And pick slides, of course. _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ I just downloaded the GarageBand app on my phone.
Yeah, my tuning knob broke.
My stupid friend knocked my guitar over.
And I don't have the money to fix it.
My knobs are missing, too, but I kind of like it.
Makes it look more grungy, you know?
Isn't this the coolest design you've ever seen?
I mean, that's really the only reason why I bought the guitar in the first place.
Let's be honest.
I did have to switch out the pickups to EMGs, though.
Well, I mean, I didn't.
Guitar Center did.
I don't want to even think about how to even do _ that.
What does this do?
_ _ [G] _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ So, I heard boiling your strings makes them last longer?
Yeah, I didn't think so, either.
_ [Ab] _
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ [Am] _
_ _ _ _ [D] _ _ _ _